Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[Joecoolyo]

I like my women like I like my streetlights: Seeping through my window and keeping me up all night long, every night

 

[Zack]

I like my women like I like my streetlights: as inanimate objects.

 

[mechaerik]

I like my women like I like my streetlights: on the corner.

 

[Mise]

I like my women like I like my streetlights: convenient recipient of the excess bodily fluids of drunk men.

 

[Sharwood]

I like my women like I like my streetlights: They do what they're supposed to every night, on time.

Onion, you're up.

 

[Zack]

Onion? You there?

 

[mechaerik]

Its only been a day, give him some time. He probably hasn't checked this forum yet.

 

[Joecoolyo]

Yeah, I don't think Onion's coming...

How about this:

Life is like a new car....

 

[Dreadnought]

Life is like a new car, it gets old real fast.

 

[Godwynn]

Life is like a new car, at some point a woman will be in control and drive you up a wall.

 

[Dumanios]

Life is like a new car,it all goes well until you crash

 

[Zack]

Life is like a new car: I have neither.

 

[Perfection]

Life is like a new car: you think yours is awesome, but noone else gives a crap.

 

[Mise]

Life is like a new car: tens of thousands of people have one exactly like yours.

 

[Joecoolyo]

Life is like a new car: tens of thousands of people have one exactly like yours.

Mise, your up!

 

[dwaxe]

I think it would help if the person who chooses the winner PMs the winner...

 

[Mise]

Ima open floor it cos I won't be around much this month.

 

[Lord Baal]

I'll take it.

Life is like an internet connection.

 

[Perfection]

Life is like an internet connection you hope it involves hooking up with saucy ladies, but it generally involves hanging out with other losers and watching porn.

 

[shortguy]

Life is like an internet connection--it opens you up to a whole world of new things, most of which give you viruses.