Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

Optical · Dec 21, 2012

You're always either constipated or have diarrhoea.

azzaman333 · Dec 21, 2012

You're always taking the piss.

Gori the Grey · Dec 21, 2012

Nasty, brutish and short

Zack · Dec 21, 2012

Gori the Grey said:
Nasty, brutish and short

That sounds more like a penis than a bathroom.

Mise · Dec 21, 2012

My penis is beautiful.

Gori the Grey · Dec 21, 2012

Zack said:
That sounds more like a penis than a bathroom.

The set-up is "going to the bathroom," not "a bathroom."

Kennigit · Dec 22, 2012

You'd think people kind of do it the same, but then you learn foreigners do it weirdly.

Lord Baal · Dec 22, 2012

_random_ with the win.

_random_ · Dec 30, 2012

Your mother is like the year 2012:

Fr8monkey · Dec 30, 2012

_random_ said:
Your mother is like the year 2012:

Old and everyone cant wait for it to be over.

W|M · Dec 30, 2012

When the Mayans saw her coming, they thought it was the end of the world.

Zack · Dec 30, 2012

It's been almost a whole year, and I'm still not done with her.

Save_Ferris · Dec 31, 2012

I'm gonna finish her with a bang.

dragonprobably · Dec 31, 2012

Absolutely Crazy.

SamSniped · Dec 31, 2012

It was fun coming in, but quite boring to finish.

Lord Baal · Dec 31, 2012

Everyone in the world has experienced her.

Mise · Jan 1, 2013

west india man said:
When the Mayans saw her coming, they thought it was the end of the world.

There's no way I can beat this.

/slowclap

_random_ · Jan 1, 2013

Yeah WIM gets it.

W|M · Jan 1, 2013

Women are like footballs...

azzaman333 · Jan 1, 2013

There is no agreement over which type is the best.