Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Parto Uno:

[classical_hero]

I like my women lik my asians: since they are both cheap and nasty.

 

[Fr8monkey]

I like it when the judge of the thread doesn't take a week to make a decision!!!

 

[Zack]

I like my judges like I like my prostitutes: on time.

 

[choxorn]

I like my judges like I like my watch: On time.

 

[Zack]

Someone take the reins!

 

[cardgame]

OK. I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends:

I look forward to seeing what you can do with it.

*cringes in his chair*

 

[Zack]

(Just say it like "I like my toilet paper like I like my (whatever you want here):")

 

[choxorn]

I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends: I go through them quickly, but not before they're used.

 

[Narz]

OK. I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends

Always there when I need them & not afraid to do dirty work!

 

[Zack]

I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends: Covered in my excreted waste. (a la cleveland steamer)

 

[mechaerik]

OK. I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends:

Lying mangled in the garbage.

 

[Yeekim]

OK. I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends

Nicely perfumed.

 

[Yeekim]

I like my judges like I like my prostitutes: on time.

Bad analogy. Who likes prostitutes who keep looking at their watch every two minutes?

 

[classical_hero]

I like my women like my toilet paper: soft and silky.

 

[Zack]

Bad analogy. Who likes prostitutes who keep looking at their watch every two minutes?

... What? I meant punctual.

 

[Azale]

OK. I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends:

in good supply!

 

[StarWorms]

I like my toilet paper like I like my girlfriends: covered in a white substance

 

[Perfection]

I like my women like I like my Asians: no speaka english.

 

[choxorn]

You've missed a bit... or did you do that on purpose?

 

[Narz]

I like my women like I like my comedy improv threads - disorganized, abusive & never on time.