Hotel? No need, you can stay at my place!

[amadeus]

It’s happened to you before!

 

[Valka D'Ur]

It’s happened to you before!

I honestly don't remember ever staying at your place, unless you're the alter-ego of my friend in Calgary, with whom I spent Mother's Day weekend in 2004.

That's the last time I ever spent somewhere that wasn't home*, unless it was the hotel the cats and I spent a couple of nights at because I happened to be within a 9-suite radius of someone in the building here who had 6-legged lifeforms intruding. We had to vacate for a couple of days because the stuff they sprayed everyone's suites with was potentially toxic to cats.

Maddy and Chloe did not take it well. This happened less than a week after moving to this building, and they thought we'd moved again - to a much smaller place (one room, but at least there were 2 beds; not that it mattered since they both cuddled up with me anyway).

*Forgot about the 2-week hospital stay in 2019. Two weeks in one of the coldest Januaries I can remember. That hospital room was freezing. My housekeeping helper at the time was the person who checked on Maddy every day, to make sure she had food and water.

When I got home, Maddy spent the first half-hour talking nonstop, telling me everything. Two weeks with nobody to talk to her, nobody to cuddle with... for the next several months she clung to me like glue, following me everywhere, and she'd wait at the door when I had to leave the apartment. Even if it was just a few minutes' trip to the lobby for the mail, she'd tell me off when I got back, for leaving her alone again. Thankfully she didn't develop separation anxiety as bad as the neighbor's cat did a few years ago, but it was hard on her for awhile.

 

[amadeus]

I’ve never owned more than one bed, let alone furniture suitable for someone to sleep on. Though I did have this huge-ass recliner before that was really, really comfortable. But that was aeons ago now.

 

[Kyriakos]

No thanks, I need my own space

 

[Quintillus]

Well, it depends on the place and the person, right?

I have stayed at friends' places occasionally while traveling, and sometimes it works out great, and sometimes I realize the benefits of paying for a nice, professionally cleaned hotel. The most recent friend? It worked out great, he had a spare room with a new guest bed and it gave us more time to catch up. But I did inquire first to make sure it was going to be a proper place to sleep and not two armchairs pushed together like the time I stayed over at a friend's place in college.

But I also have a (different) friend from college whose sense of what qualifies as a clean house is so far below my answer to that question that I've adopted a policy of already having lodging booked before reaching out to said friend should I visit her city.

Knowing from post #3 that you don't have furniture suitable for sleeping, I'll have to echo Kyriakos's answer if you mean the question in terms of staying literally at your place. Ultimately that ability to get a good night's sleep is important and worth paying some money for - especially if you're already traveling, and want to be able to enjoy the time you are spending somewhere.

 

[Hygro]

If I don't want to I just won't. Of course it's awesome to be invited!

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Hm. Anyone wanting to stay here will either need to sleep on the floor or curl up really, really small and can use Maddy's bed (it's round). She doesn't use it much.

 

[amadeus]

I‘d take the hotel 99 times out of 10. There are very few people in my life I want to spend that much consecutive time around.

 

[EgonSpengler]

It’s happened to you before!

A few times, yeah. Once in Paris, twice in San Francisco. In all 3 cases, it felt a little awkward. I wasn't sure if I was expected to accept or decline. I accepted all of them, since it was only for 1 night anyway. I tried not to leave a mark - I believe in "low-impact camping" as a general principle - and I appreciated the gesture. In two cases, I took them out for drinks; in the third, I bought their kids some presents.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I‘d take the hotel 99 times out of 10. There are very few people in my life I want to spend that much consecutive time around.

So your offer isn't a sincere one?

Or you'd just let us stay at your place while you go to a hotel?

 

[Birdjaguar]

I voted gratitude, but would get a hotel room and take you out for meals.

 

[Synobun]

I'm poor, so staying for free (or a small stipend) would be the only way I could be in the area to begin with. I'm not a tourist and only travel to spend time with a specific person. Being in their home saves time and effort. I help with chores, pay for my food, and am perfectly content sitting quietly in the corner. People dedicated to their cultural traditions hate me, but that's fine. I do best with people who don't mind a tagalong to their routine for a while.

 

[H4run]

We should always reward hospitality and good intent of others, if we want that to last in society. I'm happily taking the good gesture unless I know they are just being polite and want me to refuse it. But on the other hand, we always got that trouble makers friends or family in our life whose dwell with a wrong crowd or a bit lack of empathy, opportunist and narcissistic, I got couples of them asking for my address nicely and I just never give it to them, I just want someone that I like, understand and able to handle to enter the vicinity of my safe-zone. Balancing on trying to be nice but not being naive, in order for me to able to keep the good social-part of me without derailing into pessimism and isolation.

 

[Darsnan]

I voted crushing dread because I'm reminded immediately of the way this scenario usually plays out for me is that my wife, who is a social butterfly, will invite her friends over to stay with us, and I'll then get ganged up on by a bunch of extroverts. Usually takes me days to recover from their non-stop social buffeting.

 

[Hygro]

I voted crushing dread because I'm reminded immediately of the way this scenario usually plays out for me is that my wife, who is a social butterfly, will invite her friends over to stay with us, and I'll then get ganged up on by a bunch of extroverts. Usually takes me days to recover from their non-stop social buffeting.

How awful!

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I voted crushing dread because I'm reminded immediately of the way this scenario usually plays out for me is that my wife, who is a social butterfly, will invite her friends over to stay with us, and I'll then get ganged up on by a bunch of extroverts. Usually takes me days to recover from their non-stop social buffeting.

That's when you need a cave (of whatever kind) to retreat to. There were times when my grandparents would have company and I just went upstairs, claiming homework (usually true).

I've noticed over the years that gamers usually understand this.

 

[Kyriakos]

If I am at your place, I still want the hotel.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I don't remember seeing that game before.

(sorry, but the only game-related hotels I have here are in my Monopoly game)

 

[Hygro]

Literally the game I discovered I wasn't allowed to have blue be my favorite color thanks to sibling rivalry

 

[Darsnan]

How awful!

LOL if you want to fantasize then it should be with nurses uniforms, cuz its usually a gaggle of nurses who end up coming over.

That's when you need a cave (of whatever kind) to retreat to. There were times when my grandparents would have company and I just went upstairs, claiming homework (usually true).

I've noticed over the years that gamers usually understand this.

Yeah I used to have my computer set up in the basement and would retreat there, or I could beg off because I have to get up early for work. But of course I would have to go thru the verbal Q&A's before I could retreat, like why do I start my workday at 430am, with my stock answer being "the first four hours are my most productive" versus "because its less peoply", but the end result of the conversations being my daily regimen falls outside the usual norms and standards: