[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

[emzie]

I never said they were faking it. I said simply saying you're female doesn't change your appearance on its own and I really disagree with the idea that we can't have any concept of what a man or woman looks like because its all determined based on how we choose to identify. And yeah before anyway posts photos of Louis XIV era France or men in the renaissance I realize it is culturally determined to some degree.

Do you have a question? Like, you're entitled to that opinion, but your opinion doesn't change our opinion. There's no absolute right answer here. You can continue holding whatever opinion you want to hold, but don't argue with us over it here in this thread. I have asked you multiple times to ask questions or stop posting. This is not a debate thread.

 

[NovaKart]

Anyone up for opening a gender identity debate thread?

 

[hobbsyoyo]

You did, by insinuating that our identities are merely constructs, but that biology is the final determining factor. As if biology is not a social construct!

That's not what I meant at all.

I wish. You can see my photos in the OP though.

Oh I was going to compliment the avatar for being a damn sexy shot.

You look great in your OP photos as well!

 

[Ryika]

Anyone up for opening a gender identity debate thread?

Create and I shall debate. Being gender-fluid I probably have a lot to say on that topic!

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

I may pop in and out of that thread, but arguing about this stuff with men on the internet is emotionally exhausting.

Cool to see another genderfluid person around too

 

[Manfred Belheim]

What Omega said I don't disagree with. But she's describing what I'm describing, I'm just wording it differently. What I'm doing is describing the inner workings of the problem that Omega skimmed the surface of.

I mean, assuming that your statement is a normative one and not an objective one, we are all saying the same thing: "this standard exists, and it's harder for trans people to fit into it than it is for cis people to do so."

Right well... not sure what the disagreement was about then. On with the thread!

 

[FriendlyFire]

The South is at it again.

Anti-Gay Laws Bring Backlash in Mississippi and North Carolina

Mississippi’s governor signed far-reaching legislation allowing individuals and institutions with religious objections to deny services to gay couples, and the online-payment company PayPal announced it was canceling a $3.6 million investment in North Carolina.

The measure signed by Gov. Phil Bryant of Mississippi allows churches, religious charities and privately held businesses to decline services to people if doing so would violate their religious beliefs on marriage and gender.

North Carolina, a deeply divided state with conservative, Republican-dominated rural areas and suburbs vying for influence with tech-savvy, Democratic-leaning urban centers like Charlotte and the Research Triangle area of Durham, Raleigh and Chapel Hill.

With its announcement, PayPal became the first major company to announce it was pulling out of an existing project, saying that “becoming an employer in North Carolina, where members of our teams will not have equal rights under the law, is simply untenable.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/us/gay-rights-mississippi-north-carolina.html?_r=0

Moderator Action: Article-dumping spam. This is a Q&A thread, not a place to dump articles.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Commodore]

What part of "this is not a debate thread" are you guys not getting?

 

[cardgame]

Shouldn't that be its own thread, FF?

Back on topic, I don't think I ever got an answer for this from last page

Now, a proper question for the thread: if someone says they're 'into trans women' do you find that creepy/fetishizationed(sic) or are happy to hear it? Generally speaking.

 

[Ajidica]

I may pop in and out of that thread, but arguing about this stuff with men on the internet is emotionally exhausting.

Are men less likely to be accepting of [insert term of choice] people than women or [insert term of choice]?


Also, would this Monty Python clip be considered transphobic?

Link to video.

 

[emzie]

Now, a proper question for the thread: if someone says they're 'into trans women' do you find that creepy/fetishizationed(sic) or are happy to hear it? Generally speaking.

I find it kinda creepy and it can border on insulting at times when the implication is you're a more acceptable outlet for gay fantasies.

 

[Rashiminos]

What aspects of your day have been improved during the transition?

 

[Zelig]

What are the lowest-effort/highest-impact things I can do (should do?) to discourage discrimination against the T in LGBT?

 

[Camikaze]

Moderator Action: As a general reminder, please heed Bootstoots' earlier warning.

Moderator Action: Reminder to all posters: this thread is here to ask questions to transgender people who wish to share their experiences. Arguments don't belong here. If you must argue about something that popped up in this thread, create your own thread and discuss it there.

Everyone should follow this guideline from the OP:

You are welcome to ask as many follow up questions as you would like. However, this thread is not a place for debate. If you're here to argue instead of listen, please do not post.

All further posts which seek to debate or argue will be infracted. You are welcome to debate or argue in other threads (to the extent that such argument complies with the forum rules).
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Rashiminos]

Aren't there examples of animals that actually transition gender? It's not exactly an unnatural thing.

I remember seeing an article about a lioness that possessed a mane, roared and acted like a male.

Without sentience (and the ability to know, conceptualize, distinguish gender) can you really consider that transgender and not a mistake of nature (chromosomal aberration etc. or not unlike androgen insensitivity)

I'm not sure mistake would be the right description:

Spoiler :

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn21332-zoologger-transgender-fish-perform-reverse-sex-flip/

 

[cardgame]

Thanks for the insightful article, Rashiminos. Not a mistake at all then.

 

[Omega124]

Iam not sure if anyone already asked this but whos paying for the surgery and is it expensive ? Iam just curious because of the high cost of US medicine and simple procedures can result in bankruptcy

Pretty brave for someone who is so young to make the surgery, I have seen some weird documentory with people they did some surgery but never went all the way. I'd imagine that medical science has advanced somewhat since then.

I think that looking half-way in between would create far more problems, then having the complete surgery.
At least a solid Blue state you will have less problems, though I imagine you will always suffer from casual discrimination and stereotype ? or is that racism ?

Ok, I'm going to be honest; this post is the reason I haven't responded to this thread in over two pages. It's not because I don't know how to respond to it per se, it's actually the opposite; I already addressed everything in this post numerous times. Including some which were raided by you specifically earlier before (I remember you saying the blue state line almost verbatim before, even though I told New York isn't as hugbox liberal as you think it is)

I just... If I feel like no one is reading my responses, or people only read it to pick fights, what's even the bloody point? I'm just wasting everyone's time, and tbh I don't want to waste people's time.

I know you had honest, good intentions when writing that post, and I do appreciate that. But I addressed the payment question alone at least two times, and the other question/comment I've already awnsered from you. It's just... I can only take so much of this before I just throw my hands in the air and walk away. Like I just did. I'm really sorry, but I just can't.

FF (and others), I appreciate your enthusiasm, but can you at least try to not ask me stuff I already awnsered? Not only have we barely entered the rabbit hole of the trans experience in this thread, but constantly asking or making comments on the same thing really makes me feel like you aren't paying attention to what I'm saying.

I'm not even going to get into a lot of patronizing comments you lot (not FF, but others) made to Cheezy. Honestly a few of you should apologize to him. Totally uncalled for >:c

Right. I'm going to be back now and field questions. Just... Can I ask you to be mindful of what I'm saying? Please?

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I'd like to ask Cheezy (when you're able to respond) how people should refer to you on CFC. You said you usually want to be treated as the gender you are presenting as at the time, but as we're basically dealing with text and an avatar picture on here, that's not really possible. So is it acceptable to refer to you as male all the time on here, even though (from what you say) that's bound to be misgendering you at least some of the time?

If it is acceptable, is that acceptable in the sense that you have no problem with it whatsoever, or in the sense that it's a necessary compromise that you're willing to deal with but still find uncomfortable?

If it's not acceptable, then what alternatives could you propose?

 

[emzie]

What are the lowest-effort/highest-impact things I can do (should do?) to discourage discrimination against the T in LGBT?

Don't accept bigotry. If someone says something that seems kinda offensive, say it's not cool. A lot of what people believe is based on social feedback like that.

If you're gonna be interacting on a regular basis with someone who is trans, make a point to say hi. It's pretty simple and opens up lanes of communication.

What aspects of your day have been improved during the transition?

My state of mind is vastly improved, so even the crappy things have a silver lining in that I know how to make them better. I have hope.

Ok, I'm going to be honest; this post is the reason I haven't responded to this thread in over two pages. It's not because I don't know how to respond to it per se, it's actually the opposite; I already addressed everything in this post numerous times. Including some which were raided by you specifically earlier before (I remember you saying the blue state line almost verbatim before, even though I told New York isn't as hugbox liberal as you think it is)

I just... If I feel like no one is reading my responses, or people only read it to pick fights, what's even the bloody point? I'm just wasting everyone's time, and tbh I don't want to waste people's time.

I know you had honest, good intentions when writing that post, and I do appreciate that. But I addressed the payment question alone at least two times, and the other question/comment I've already awnsered from you. It's just... I can only take so much of this before I just throw my hands in the air and walk away. Like I just did. I'm really sorry, but I just can't.

FF (and others), I appreciate your enthusiasm, but can you at least try to not ask me stuff I already awnsered? Not only have we barely entered the rabbit hole of the trans experience in this thread, but constantly asking or making comments on the same thing really makes me feel like you aren't paying attention to what I'm saying.

I'm not even going to get into a lot of patronizing comments you lot (not FF, but others) made to Cheezy. Honestly a few of you should apologize to him. Totally uncalled for >:c

Right. I'm going to be back now and field questions. Just... Can I ask you to be mindful of what I'm saying? Please?

This is largely my fault. I vastly estimated how popular this thread would be and as a result, the prospect of setting up a FAQ has been something I've put off. I will actually do it this weekend.

 

[Omega124]

Are men less likely to be accepting of [insert term of choice] people than women or [insert term of choice]?


Also, would this Monty Python clip be considered transphobic?

Link to video.

If that skit was made verbatim today? I don't really know, to be honest. It would be borderline. I mean, the joke is basically "lol trans people are silly", but I don't nessecairly think anything offensive was actually said. It would be in poor taste either way.

However, given the time period when this was filmed? Of course not. It would have been socially acceptable for Monty Python to really take the piss out of trans people and imo the whole thing was pretty mild all things considered. Trans people werent really even considered people at the time, sadly. So having a positive, if silly, portrayl of a trans character is laudable for the time period.

The famous Lumberjack Song is another example of Monty Python doing was is basicilly a "trans people are silly" joke, and unlike the revolutionaries in that film, that character exists solely to be laughed at. That's a better example of a mean spirited sketch than that scene in Life of Brian, but even then, understanding the context of the time, im not too worried about it. I don't find the same enjoyment out of it as I used to when I was a kid, but it's not like it's egregiously insulting.