Random Rants LIII: F My Life

[dusters]

my rant:

So here i am - a 26 year old who dresses like a 16 year old and i want to find a partner who is about 30-35 and has had a stable job for several years.

I look like a child, but my mental age fluctates around forty and the situation creeps me out a bit. I'm looking forward to meet new people, but where do people in 30s meet?

Apart from that, I'm kinda demisexual. I want a huge talk and and a dating phase and then i want flowers and then i want something fun, like hitchhiking together for few months... after all that i can imagine sleeping with that person. And no, it's not a tease, it's just the way i work. If i try it in "the normal way" i feel nothing or i feel disgust.

My friends have invited me to the local LGBT bar next week and i feel like i'm just gonna sit in a corner and drink tea for 2 hours. And read a book when i run out of tea. I will have two pals together with me so it won't go totally awkward.

tl:dr, a homoromantic girly looking woman seeks a partner in 30s and finds her only in her own stories. (facepalm) (Yes, i write short stories. )

 

[Antilogic]

Welcome to the club, dusters. Oddly enough, you share more with the lovesick guys here than you might realize.

 

[Farm Boy]

My concern on the face of it is in finding a stably employed thirty to thirty-five year old that has the desire, or more importantly ability, to take three months off to do something like hitchhike. That's pretty directly contradictory to stable or advancing employment. It does make for a heck of a good mental telling though! Maybe somebody in a masters or phd program would have more that sort of maturity coupled with flexibility?

 

[dusters]

thanks for the club card i hope there are board games available. i'm always happy for some MTG


It shall not be taken literally. I mean, three months (not in one go) of hitchiking during a year or two before "things" happen. Or just some experience which would lead to strong emotional bounding.

I like alpinism as well ^^ And i play bridge, if she's decent at bridge and doesn't get mad after a 2nd place in tournament, it's a decent start

 

[Takhisis]

Pray that Vladimir doesn't seek to reacquire your homeland, dusters.

 

[Phrossack]

That territorial hermit at the top of my street is starting to piss me off.

 

[Commodore]

That territorial hermit at the top of my street is starting to piss me off.

Oooooo, I love these kinds of stories. Do tell.

 

[Takhisis]

Yes indeed, what are you defining as a territorial project?

 

[Joecoolyo]

Rant:

Oh god, tonight was literally the busiest I've ever seen my theater. A Fault in Our Stars caused a time-space fluctuation that deposited over 300 twelve year olds at our doorstep. We had to get blackup from a neighboring theater to fill out our ranks as the battle raged on, and halfway through, someone fainted, and so paramedics stormed the place as well.

And to think I was going to get a lazy Friday to do nothing.

 

[Kennigit]

We had to get blackup from a neighboring theater to fill out our ranks as the battle raged on, and halfway through, someone fainted, and so paramedics stormed the place as well.

I'd prefer to think of blackup like this:

 

[dusters]

Pray that Vladimir doesn't seek to reacquire your homeland, dusters.

Government says that there is NATO to protect the country. And my homeland is Japan anyway. I just live in Latvia.

@Joecoolyo

Was the movie good? it has 8.6 at imdb!

 

[Joecoolyo]

I'd prefer to think of blackup like this:

We actually got The Wolf to come help us.

@Joecoolyo

Was the movie good? it has 8.6 at imdb!

Haven't seen it, but considering the fainting and the amount of crying girls leaving the theater I think it hit its mark.

 

[Borachio]

Rant:

Oh god, tonight was literally the busiest I've ever seen my theater. A Fault in Our Stars caused a time-space fluctuation that deposited over 300 twelve year olds at our doorstep. We had to get blackup from a neighboring theater to fill out our ranks as the battle raged on, and halfway through, someone fainted, and so paramedics stormed the place as well.

And to think I was going to get a lazy Friday to do nothing.

Gah! That story would depress me beyond words.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fault_in_Our_Stars

 

[hobbsyoyo]

My grandfather passed away last night. I am glad I have been in St. Louis because I got to see him last week. He kept trying to have a conversation with me but mentally was unable. That was tough for me. It was a peaceful passing I have been told. They took him off of dialysis last week because his feet were gangrenous and apparently being taken off of dialysis is a fairly easy way to go - especially with painkillers.

I feel terrible for my mother; my parents are in the middle of a move and she could only come out next Wednesday. She had hoped to see him before he died but it didn't work out. At least she can be at the funeral.

 

[Phrossack]

My grandfather passed away last night. I am glad I have been in St. Louis because I got to see him last week. He kept trying to have a conversation with me but mentally was unable. That was tough for me. It was a peaceful passing I have been told. They took him off of dialysis last week because his feet were gangrenous and apparently being taken off of dialysis is a fairly easy way to go - especially with painkillers.

I feel terrible for my mother; my parents are in the middle of a move and she could only come out next Wednesday. She had hoped to see him before he died but it didn't work out. At least she can be at the funeral.

Condolences, Hobbs. I still miss my grandparents.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Thanks Phrossack.

I am supposed to be devastated right now, but honestly, I'm not. He wasn't hardly in my life and since I moved to this area (where he lives) basically I put in all the effort into developing a relationship with him. He divorced my grandmother and quickly remarried and her kids became his new family and he very became super-involved with his new family and basically neglected his blood family.

To give an example - he was a trucker at one point and he'd drive through and stop at some of the towns we lived in and never tell us and not visit. But he was 100% committed to his new family and was a great stepfather/stepgrandfather to them. But we hardly ever saw him and I had almost no relationship with him except when I tried to build one with him.

I'm not bitter, understand. It's just that, and well, it's terrible to say this, but I'm not torn up about him dying either. Which I guess is really screwed up but it is what it is.

And I'm honestly more torn up about not being torn up, which is screwing with me.

Am I a monster?

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

I ordered a kebab from a chippy and this is what I got:

It's salad, donner meat, and chips, with some red sauce on it. Kebab contents, yes. Kebab, no.

The weather is too awful to be worth venturing back out for something better, and I'm too hungry to stay mad long enough about it.

 

[Phrossack]

Thanks Phrossack.

I am supposed to be devastated right now, but honestly, I'm not. He wasn't hardly in my life and since I moved to this area (where he lives) basically I put in all the effort into developing a relationship with him. He divorced my grandmother and quickly remarried and her kids became his new family and he very became super-involved with his new family and basically neglected his blood family.

To give an example - he was a trucker at one point and he'd drive through and stop at some of the towns we lived in and never tell us and not visit. But he was 100% committed to his new family and was a great stepfather/stepgrandfather to them. But we hardly ever saw him and I had almost no relationship with him except when I tried to build one with him.

I'm not bitter, understand. It's just that, and well, it's terrible to say this, but I'm not torn up about him dying either. Which I guess is really screwed up but it is what it is.

And I'm honestly more torn up about not being torn up, which is screwing with me.

Am I a monster?

Well, I wouldn't be especially shaken by the loss of someone who wasn't especially close, and I have an easier time accepting it when someone old dies, I suppose. It was their time, I tell myself. Even so, I often feel indifferent towards others' suffering, but at the same time I feel compelled to help them. I suppose a lot of things I do or think that might be considered "good" are more out of a sense of duty to be good than out of inner goodness.

Of course, I'm not exactly known for my warmth and sweetness. But I think you're fine.

 

[salty mud]

Thanks Phrossack.

I am supposed to be devastated right now, but honestly, I'm not. He wasn't hardly in my life and since I moved to this area (where he lives) basically I put in all the effort into developing a relationship with him. He divorced my grandmother and quickly remarried and her kids became his new family and he very became super-involved with his new family and basically neglected his blood family.

To give an example - he was a trucker at one point and he'd drive through and stop at some of the towns we lived in and never tell us and not visit. But he was 100% committed to his new family and was a great stepfather/stepgrandfather to them. But we hardly ever saw him and I had almost no relationship with him except when I tried to build one with him.

I'm not bitter, understand. It's just that, and well, it's terrible to say this, but I'm not torn up about him dying either. Which I guess is really screwed up but it is what it is.

And I'm honestly more torn up about not being torn up, which is screwing with me.

Am I a monster?

Of course you're not a monster. You barely had a relationship with him so you won't develop strong feelings for him. It doesn't matter if you share the same blood or not, what matters is what actually happened in life.

I felt a similar way a year ago. My great grandmother died at the age of 93, and although she had a great deal of input in my life especially in my younger years, I didn't feel all that sad about her dying. Partly because of her age; we all knew she lived a long life and seen a large, healthy family grow beneath her. I was sat next to her as she died and I didn't even shed a tear. I was sad to see her go, but not traumatised or anything.

So no, there's nothing wrong with you. Perfectly normal reaction to an event.

 

[cybrxkhan]

@hobbs: condolences to you as well. Both my grandfathers passed away when I was old enough to understand what was going on, but I wasn't that close to either of them. My maternal grandfather passed away when I was about twelve, but it didn't really hit me hard.

My paternal grandfather, on the other hand, it was a bit more difficult, even though I also wasn't that close with him - I was seventeen at the time. However, despite not being that close to him, I did resemble him on some ways (i got my tallness from him, for instance), we shared some similar interests (even though we never talked about it much), and I was there seeing me deteriorate in a matter of weeks (well, he was deteriorating to begin with, it just escalated). What really made it more emotional was that my father left by plane to take care of business for a day, and it just so happened to be the day my grandfather died, so when we were doing the necessary rituals and prayers on that first day my grandfather passed, I felt like as if I, as my fathers eldest son, was taking his place (my father also appears to be my grandparents favorite child, so that probably made it a bit more devastating). My grandfather also happened to be very esteemed not only within his family (including in-laws) but amongst some of the local Vietnamese community as well, so there were a lot of people at my grandparents house praying and helping with the rituals, but also doing other things too, so it was kind of like a surreal party.

Anyhow, the good thing though is that my grandfather meticulously planned everything about his funeral beforehand, typing up precise intruscrions on what everyone in the family was to do once he died (ie "daughter #2, do x and y to take care of my credit card and insurance"; "son #4, contact the funeral home immediately and say a, b, and c"). That saved the family a crapload of stress.