Random Rants LIII: F My Life

[SamSniped]

My condolences, hobbs

Random (and less significant) rant: I ALWAYS overthink things when it comes to people. Always. And it sucks 99% of the time. Especially when it comes to my crush.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I have no idea how his affairs are being handled but I trust his wife is taking care of things. She's been really great to him these last few years, she's being doing his parietal dialysis for him which is a massive undertaking and really just looking after him. I was glad that she was there for him in the end, she was a fantastic wife.

It was her decision to stop dialysis and let him die and she worried some days that she made the wrong decision but we all support her 100%. It was her decision to make and we all supported it. It was a tough call but he wasn't there mentally even before the dialysis ended (he started accusing his hospice care takers of being terrorists who wanted to kill him and he would get angry and obstinate with his wife because he didn't know what was going on most of the time) and the gangrenous feet were literally killing him. So she made the merciful decision really and damn all the fundies who probably now think she's a murderer.

Thanks for the condolences everyone. It's good to talk about how I feel - I don't feel comfortable enough to talk about it with people irl which is odd because I don't really *know* most people here. Maybe that's why it's easier, I'm less afraid of being judged.

 

[ReindeerThistle]

@hobbs: my condolences on your grandfather's passing. Family is family, and loss is still loss. No one is replaceable and death does kinda play with the threshholds of our emotions.

All of your feelings are genuine, so I think you can just play them out.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Thanks RT.

 

[Kozmos]

My method of smashing bits of code together until something works is unsurprisingly not working. Relevant personnel with greater knowledge of the undocumented code files are unavailable. It is making me sick in the brain and once again considering making a career change three years into a study. The thought of that is also making me sick.

 

[Borachio]

I can't decide if this is a rant or a rave:

For the first time on reading all the threads in OT that I might be interested in, I find I've got nothing to say. Which is strange.

(It's probably me. But it might be you.)

Not that anything I've said previously has been of any importance, of course, but I felt strongly enough (i.e. sometimes only a teensy bit) about it to say it.

(edit: Nah! It's definitely me.)

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Minecraft Redstone Handbook? Why would anyone buy information easily available on the Internet?

3D movies aren't that great when you only have one fully functional eye.

I hope American armed forces know not to send aircraft against something using EMPs.

 

[salty mud]

What is it with BMW drivers? They are most arrogant and dangerous drivers I come across. If someone is causing chaos and mayhem on the roads there stands a very good chance they are driving a BMW. Do BMW drivers have to pass a moron test or something before being allowed to buy one?

Even my driving instructor warned me against BMW owners. A horrid species to be sure.

 

[Farm Boy]

RT said it better than I can Hobbs. He's right. You're a great guy from what I can tell. Hope everything goes as best it can.

 

[Takhisis]

Government says that there is NATO to protect the country. And my homeland is Japan anyway. I just live in Latvia.

First Sakhalin, then Hokkaido, then onwards to the Ryukyu archipelago. (I can't type macrons, but the names are recognisable)

I ordered a kebab from a chippy and this is what I got:

Spoiler :

It's salad, donner meat, and chips, with some red sauce on it. Kebab contents, yes. Kebab, no.

The weather is too awful to be worth venturing back out for something better, and I'm too hungry to stay mad long enough about it.

Sorry, man, the Raves thread is that way ---->

 

[Valka D'Ur]

@hobbsyoyo: Condolences, and please do not be upset with yourself. How you feel is how you feel, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

My own grandfather died in 1986, and at the time I didn't grieve because we had been having a lot of bitter, angry arguments in the previous several years. It took me 15 years after that to finally understand - a bit - where he was coming from, and forgive him. And since I don't forgive easily, that was a major thing.

Maybe you'll come to that point some day; maybe not. But only you know how you feel, and nobody has the right to say you're not feeling the "right" things.

 

[Cutlass]

My grandfather passed away last night. I am glad I have been in St. Louis because I got to see him last week. He kept trying to have a conversation with me but mentally was unable. That was tough for me. It was a peaceful passing I have been told. They took him off of dialysis last week because his feet were gangrenous and apparently being taken off of dialysis is a fairly easy way to go - especially with painkillers.

I feel terrible for my mother; my parents are in the middle of a move and she could only come out next Wednesday. She had hoped to see him before he died but it didn't work out. At least she can be at the funeral.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Borachio]

But only you know how you feel, and nobody has the right to say you're not feeling the "right" things.

This is certainly true. And bereavement can be really unpredictable.

When my father died, to whom I felt quite close, I was very sad but pretty much unmoved at his funeral.

When my mother died, who had always seemed quite distant to me - in a friendly kind of way - it was all I could to do not to sob out loud (I thought I was going to burst). I was very, very surprised.

Anyway, Mr Hobbs, I'm sorry for your loss; no matter how it's affecting you.

 

[cybrxkhan]

This is certainly true. And bereavement can be really unpredictable.

When my father died, to whom I felt quite close, I was very sad but pretty much unmoved at his funeral.

When my mother died, who had always seemed quite distant to me - in a friendly kind of way - it was all I could to do not to sob out loud (I thought I was going to burst). I was very, very surprised.

Anyway, Mr Hobbs, I'm sorry for your loss; no matter how it's affecting you.

I haven't had to go to many funerals in my lifetime, but definitely the reactions can be unexpected. I realized my (paternal) grandfather was going to die two weeks before he died, this was when I came to see him after a while, and saw him lying on the bed there mostly tired and exhausted; later that night I had to sneak into my grandparents backyard to bawl my eyes out. I'd never cried that much in such a long time, and I'm one of those sensitive types who usually cries easily, so even by my standards that was a lot of tears. I wasn't that especially close to my grandfather anyways, but his was probably the first family member who passed away when I was old enough to understand.

Then at the funeral I was relatively stoic, though perhaps by then I cried all that I could by then.

It's also interesting to see the variety of reactions from different people. After my grandfather passed, we all thought my grandmother would go bonkers because she was so dependent and attached to him (being in poor physical health also didn't help), so everyone in the family was freaking out about how to tell her. We were shocked when she took it very calmly and matter of factly. On the other hand, my father, though not visibly upset, did remark to me quietly not too long after that "I know he had to go, but I kind of miss my daddy", and the calm way he said it made it all the more poignant and you could just tell all the emotions inside him.



One thing anyways - the little kids usually don't understand, unless maybe if it's a parent or someone who was almost like a parent to them. In some ways, I find that theurapatic; the kids can't really be blamed for running around playing and being innocent to everything around them, and they're just a reminder that life would go on. When my grandaunt passed away recently, at the funeral, my little cousins were running around being silly and one of them was trolling me like she usually does when I'm around (she's awesome), and it was such a surreal contrast to everyone else who was solemn and respectful.

 

[gay_Aleks]

At risk of ruining the seriousness the above posters, I'll rant out of my system on sports. Volleyball, to be specific, the only sport Bulgaria could say we're decent without relying on miracles or prayers.

We lost. Against Serbia. Twice. They were the better team the first match. 3-0. Lost badly.

Today, however was the second match. We were this goddamned close to winning it. 2-3. This pisses me much more than the loss yesterday; it was obvious they were the better team then. Today, we could've won. It wouldn't matter that much in the long run - 4 losses and one win, how far could've gotten? But.. It's too late. We lost.

 

[Takhisis]

Without relying on miracles? I think that in USA#2 1994 there was a bit more to the team than super-Hristo, right? Or does he count as 'prayer'?

 

[gay_Aleks]

Miracles are a one-time affair; there's only one 1994 that our dear country can sport out without straining it.

I mean, sure, the team was awesome. However, we didn't repeat this miracle, and in 2014 (ironically, 20 years later), we're not even in the World Cup.

 

[The_J]

*grml* I should have talked to that girl further in the bus. We talked a bit at the bus stop, but then got disconnected shortly, and afterwards...*hmpf*.
I'm just too slow. I'm not as bad as Dusters, but I also need some more time. *sigh*

On a related note: I now have the email of an female acquaintance, and I'd be interested in one of her friends, but yeah...what to do now?
Life is complicated.

 

[Tahuti]

On a related note: I now have the email of an female acquaintance, and I'd be interested in one of her friends, but yeah...what to do now?
Life is complicated.

Contact her? You could use mail to look her up on FB if I am not mistaken.

 

[Synobun]

That feel when you are told to wake up early to get into work early, arrive, and get informed that after filling out some paperwork your shift has been moved to the night. Woke up at 5AM? No prob, work until 2AM.

On the bright side, it means my first day of work will be the one that tests my physical limits the most. I hope it passes.