I recently thought about the last few years, and I concluded that I have socially messed up in the last 2 years. Not big enough for the “poor life decisions“ thread, but still.
Looking back:
- 7 years ago I came to this country. I had been a nerd, never really kept friends or sustained and friendship for the 10+ years before.
- 7 years ago until 2 years ago: I had an amazing social life, many friends, including close ones. But this was partially attributable to the environment. There were many young, cool, outgoing people around, who were looking for friends too. We had long coffee breaks and lunches together, which made socializing really easy. We had a couple of holidays together, and loads of other things. When I moved the last time, I had 9 guys helping me, and i could have asked more people. I still have most of these friendships.
- 2 years ago: I moved to a different city. The environment was different, not that easy to socialize. I started living as before. After all, I had only the XP from the 5 years before. Now, 2 years later, I am not left with that many friends in this city, let alone close ones. There is the saying that you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with. For me, the first 3 are colleagues, of whom one only came a half year ago. The 4th is my ex girlfriend. While I try to spend time with her, this is telling something. And the 5th is a friend of a friend, and we both agree that we are not very close friends. I have lots of acquaintances though. Bot obviously I failed to make close friends. This time I would not know whom to ask for moving (the 5 are women). So... after I move this time, I will need to pay more attention to making close friends. I also realized that I am hesitant to reach out to people, who could be friends, and rather let it flow. I need to change this the next time.
Important lesson learned, I guess.