Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Thorvald of Lym]

Fwoosh! I smite the fudge fairies with divine wrath.

7: You make a graceful-but-deadly swing with your sword, only to realize they aren't within reach. The fudge pixies take the opportunity to retaliate.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (4): They open fire on you for a painful 32 damage.

I give my money to charity.

12: You drop your remaining change into a collecting tin. Somewhere in Africa, a child can now write on a chalkboard.

I de-fuse the nuke.

15: After a harrowing few minutes trying to figure out the controls, you manage to disarm the device.

I order my angels to take control of the truck and rush it and the nuke and anyone inside the truck at the time to an unimaginable distance away from here.

12: The angels leave the buried pair, hotwire the truck and head out of the city with choxorn still aboard.

I drive over to choxorn and arrest him for breaking into the truck.

18: Your car is toast, but you manage to leap inside just as the truck pulls into traffic and handcuff choxorn for his break-and-enter, disabling the use of his hands.

I pray to the D1C3 G0D that my next roll will be an automatic 20.

14: The D1C3 G0D hears your prayer, and considers fudging your next roll.

I rest while keeping my hold on rhawn.

7: You rest, but nothing changes.

I stop choxorn from de-fussing the nuke.

2: You try to grab hold of the rail, only to remember you have no hands. As the truck pulls away, you trip and fall on the pavement for 15 damage.

bestrfcplayer is beginning to grow delirious from the blood loss (-1 to rolls for all actions).

I summon some ghouls to help me devour kill fire.

1: RE-ROLL!
9: You attempt to summon ghouls, but you are unable to bring your hands upward for the apex symbol, and they quickly dissipate.

The man with the beard and the novelty hat disappears into the commuter crowd.
The police officers, meanwhile, approach Omega124 and ask what he knows about a recently-damaged office building.

 

[kill fire]

I attempt to activate the nuke with my mind. Even at the distance its at now it should still have a deadly effect on the city.

 

[Seon]

I clad myself in a shield of flame to protect myself and also to burn the evil vicious Fudge Fairies

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I try to regrow my hands back.

 

[Omega124]

I transform myself into the Pig King Statue, which distipe being a statue of a 8 year old, it has 100,000,000 HP.

 

[tuxedohamm]

I order my angels to return consume the deactivated nuke.

 

[civplayah]

I earn more money.

 

[choxorn]

I use my super strength to break the handcuffs.

 

[rhawn]

I assume gaseous form, a cloud of a silent but deadly fart. I'm still trapped in the ground with kill fire, but I cause him to gag and retch.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I attempt to activate the nuke with my mind. Even at the distance its at now it should still have a deadly effect on the city.

13: You re-arm the device. It will detonate in 5 turns.

I clad myself in a shield of flame to protect myself and also to burn the evil vicious Fudge Fairies

9: You wrap yourself in a firewall, but apart from show it adds no defence bonus. The fudge pixies volley again.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (11): You effortlessly deflect their bullets.

I try to regrow my hands back.

10 (9): It just ain't happening.

I transform myself into the Pig King Statue, which distipe being a statue of a 8 year old, it has 100,000,000 HP.

9: You almost felt a translation, but alas, nothing.

I order my angels to return consume the deactivated nuke.

3: An errant brush of the wing speeds the arming process to 4 turns.

I earn more money.

17: You sell newspapers on the street corner and earn $7.65.

I use my super strength to break the handcuffs.

6: choxorn: "I can... break these... cuffs!"
mythmonster2: "You can't break those cuffs!"
choxorn: "EEEEEAAAAAAAGGHH..."
Nothing.

I assume gaseous form, a cloud of a silent but deadly fart. I'm still trapped in the ground with kill fire, but I cause him to gag and retch.

7: You generate a gaseous cloud, but you both succumb to the tune of -3 hp.

Omega124's Illuminati buddies have arrived and are awaiting orders.

rhawn and kill fire are running out of air! If they haven't broken through to the surface in three turns, they will begin to take damage for asphyxiation.

 

[kill fire]

I learn to use farts as air.

 

[Seon]

I call Brownie fairies for backup

 

[GenMarshall]

Wait, is this game already on?

In and search for a Glock 86 plasma pistol in room.

 

[rhawn]

I take a dirt nap.

 

[Earthling]

In...ish...think I got the hang of it - you need input once a day, right.

I search for, perhaps from a street vendor, and subsequently don an uncursed Hawaiian shirt.

 

[tuxedohamm]

Angels are to intentionally detonate the nuke, while shielding the blast with their bodies.

 

[Omega124]

I tell my soldiers to cover me while I look for box(es) of gernades.

OOC: Shouldn't I have a Rocket Launcher on my items list?

 

[civplayah]

I decide to get a job at Target.

 

[kill fire]

Angels are to intentionally detonate the nuke, while shielding the blast with their bodies.

Yes, because a few pounds of flesh is going to stop a nuclear freakin bomb.

 

[tuxedohamm]

Yes, because a few pounds of flesh is going to stop a nuclear freakin bomb.

Well, they're angels, so maybe it'll work. If not, more fun for all. Plus, if I get a 1, maybe they accidentally permanently disable it.