One thing I've realized is that the "grown-ups" we thought knew everything when we were young really just kind of made it up as they went along.
So true, so true.
If you will use a baby book (where you write everything like baby's first word, first trip to the dentist, growth in height/weight, etc), then make sure you are vigilant about filling it out as the events happen, or checking the book once a week. Otherwise you will forget and then have a difficult or impossible time trying to fill in the details later.
And don't forget to write down the less-than-stellar events too! Like the first time you let the baby roll off of something onto the floor (Yes, it WILL happen, and they will usually be fine), the first diaper that seems to have a will of its own, the first time some unsolicited advice makes you feel like crap, etc.
My advice is going to be more geared towards the early side of things since it's pretty fresh in my mind (daughter came along in January 2013):
1a. Take a good childbirth education class, even if your wife doesn't feel like it's necessary. You will be forced to talk through things that you may not think are relevant or important, but turn out to be. In our case, we were planning a home birth and so we didn't talk at home much about how to handle a hospital scenario, but the class did - and good thing, because we wound up having a C-Section! That experience would have been utterly overwhelming if I hadn't been at least a little familiar with what to expect. We took a Bradley method class even though my wife is a doula.
1b. Consider hiring a doula. Even if your wife doesn't feel she needs one, you will.
2. Books:
What To Expect When You're Expecting
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
3. Movie:
The Business of Being Born (and the sequel, I suppose)
4. If possible, get a dishwasher. I spend at least 45 minutes a day washing stuff. That's time I *can't* spend with my daughter, time my wife has to watch her. Our landlord won't allow it
5. The diaper changing area should be easily accessible in the middle of the night (in the bedroom or just outside), and get a good diaper pail. The last thing you want to do in the middle of the night is truck all the way to the bathroom or whereever to deal with that stuff. Just dump it close by and clean it up later. We used a cloth diaper service, so it was really easy. But I imagine you can have the same convenience with disposables.
6. Consider co-sleeping. This allows the baby to be safely nearby the mother without the risk of one of you squishing him. It also allows the mother to simply roll over to nurse the kid - after a couple of weeks, she may even be able to do this without waking up! Didn't quite work perfectly for us, but the cosleeping arrangement was awesome.
7. Learn about baby wearing. All a baby wants is to be comfortable, and there are 2 things it needs for that: full belly and proximity to parents. We wore Beatrice for about 90-95% of her waking hours. The other time was spent allowing her "tummy time". This is important for neuro-muscular development. As they get older they need more and more. But in the first few weeks just 5 minutes here and there after feedings is fine.
8. We have worked hard to eliminate paper towel waste from our lifestyle, so we rely on small rags. We have about 40 handkerchief-size rags cut up from old dishtowels. We put stacks of these things all over the apartment to handle milk spills, spit-up, drool, everything. Combined with a water sprayer (like for windex) and they become re-usable cleaning wipes for diapers! Yay Go Hippies!!
9. Ask your friends to set up a meal train for you. You can start by socking away frozen meal elements if you have a chest freezer. Then your friends choose a day on the calendar that they pledge to bring dinner or lunch to you. Only 5 or 6 people signed up for ours
hmm
but it was SO great to not have to think about shopping or making meals. Just pop it on the stove or in the microwave and you're good to go! Also, seamless.com gift certificates for friends who want to help but don't live nearby - incredibly awesome.
10. When your wife stops working change your allowances on the W-4 to 3 or 4. Nobody tells you this!
It's a big deal, because money is going to get super tight no matter how much savings you have. You WILL go through it.
I'll add more if I think of any!
Oh, and good luck to you both! It's very exciting (and scary) and fun (and hard work) and phenomenally rewarding (and exhausting). I haven't gotten more than 6.5 hours of sleep since January, and even then it's rare to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. I really wish we had done it sooner when I was younger.