Cheetah
Deity
Inspired by a couple of articles I've come across lately, and a friend who thought it was too weird to accept an offer from a woman he's seeing to let her pay for plane and concert tickets for a band they both wanted to see (Yeah, she makes more than him).
Basically, I'm wondering if you would be okay with having a long-term relationship/marriage with a woman who earn more than you, have a better job than you and/or is smarter than you?
I'm not asking whether you would want to marry a woman billionaire! I'm talking about you being with a regular woman, that you find otherwise attractive, but who will be the primary breadwinner in the relationship. Not meaning that you must be supported - you may still have your own job and income of course - but it would be worse for you as a couple if she stopped working.
For the women of the forum: The opposite. Would you want to be in a relationship where you are the primary breadwinner and your guy earns less than half of what you do, and/or is not as smart as you? Or what if the guy is unemployed and you'd thus support him?
Reading material for those who like some more points and stories to consider:
She works hard for the money... and pays for the date
More Men Marrying Wealthier Women
Would You Date a Smarter, Richer Woman?
Basically, I'm wondering if you would be okay with having a long-term relationship/marriage with a woman who earn more than you, have a better job than you and/or is smarter than you?
I'm not asking whether you would want to marry a woman billionaire! I'm talking about you being with a regular woman, that you find otherwise attractive, but who will be the primary breadwinner in the relationship. Not meaning that you must be supported - you may still have your own job and income of course - but it would be worse for you as a couple if she stopped working.
For the women of the forum: The opposite. Would you want to be in a relationship where you are the primary breadwinner and your guy earns less than half of what you do, and/or is not as smart as you? Or what if the guy is unemployed and you'd thus support him?
Reading material for those who like some more points and stories to consider:
She works hard for the money... and pays for the date
Spoiler :
With NYC’s young women out-earning the men, ladies are picking up the tab more often at the end of the night (and they don’t mind!)
Good news, women of New York! If you’re young and single, you’re making more bucks than men your age in the city. Bad news, women of New York! Now that the word’s out, you might just be picking up the check on dates.
A recent study of US Census data by James Chung and Sally Johnstone of Reach Advisors found that the income of single women in their 20s living in New York City is now 17 percent higher, on average, than that of their male counterparts.
While a financial victory for females, this income shift in the midst of an anemic economy is also shaking up dating rules in the city. Successful 20-something ladies may have scant choice but to date Big Apple guys with skinnier paychecks — or (deep breath) no paychecks at all. So instead of the perfunctory “purse reach” at the end of a romantic meal, young women are now pulling out the plastic.
“I’ve paid for dinners, theater tickets and overnight getaways, because lately the men I date are starving artists who still live at home or can only buy me a pizza slice,” says 24-year-old Cecilia Hughes.
“And I’m lactose intolerant, so that’s a negative.”
Hughes, who lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, and works as an account exec in financial communications, insists she doesn’t mind covering more than her fair share for the sake of romance. In the past two years, she’s started tucking extra money into her handbag before dates, assuming the tab will be split or that she’ll be footing the entire bill. Probably a good plan, given her recent string of down-on-their-luck dates: The laid-off hedge fund manager living with his parents (“He could make a bangin’ pancake,” Hughes recalls wistfully). The Russian artist who conveniently forgot his wallet on three consecutive dates (“I finally forgot to call him back,” she notes). And the part-time bartender who failed to pay his portion of a resort vacation as promised because “tips kinda sucked this month.”
Since those unfortunate souls, Hughes has developed two rules for subsidizing suitors: They must be passionate about life — and actively searching for work.
“I’d much rather pay for my own drink if it means he has a collection of travel stories or big dreams of finishing grad school and starting a global nonprofit or selling a piece of art,” she says. “But no job? Then I sure hope he’s interviewing.”
At a recent speed-dating event in the Flatiron District hosted by NY Minute Dating (with a whopping $40 per person entrance fee), 29-year-old Kelly Smith hunted for men alongside other well-heeled women: doctors, attorneys, media execs and bankers. Smith — a pretty IT specialist who lives in Manhattan and earns $200,000 a year — can’t recall dating any guy who bested her salary in the past two years. This fact leaves her unruffled.
“I don’t need his money, and I can build my own shelves,” she says with a shrug.
Smith has no qualms that her paycheck dwarfs those of the men she dates, so long as the guys are interesting and creative. She points out that men with tiny incomes are often less intimidated by her bank account than striving businessmen, “because they’re not trying to be something they’re not.”
“I’m OK with the 23-year-old busboy or the 21-year-old intern,” she says, listing men she’s recently taken on dates (yep, she paid) in the city.
“I get the booty call where they want to meet up and get a drink, and there’s no question I’m buying the drink.”
Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher says it’s not surprising that New York women are less concerned about a fellow’s puny finances than they may have been in past years.
“Money seems to be pretty far down on the totem pole” of relationship criteria, she says, citing the Single in America study of 5,200 US singles she just completed in partnership with Match.com. According to her findings, only 4 percent of men and 17 percent of women would “definitely not date” someone who was unemployed.
“This is a very, very powerful shift in what we’re looking for,” says Fisher. “In New York, 95 percent of people [surveyed] want someone they can confide in, someone they can trust and someone that respects them — those are all now far more important than finances.”
But Dr. Ali Binazir, author of “The Tao of Dating,” cautions women to consider their life stage before going hog-wild with unemployed guys.
“If you’re 34 and serious about getting married, one of your deal-breakers should be: Is he gainfully employed?” warns Binazir.
“But if you’re 23, you work for Goldman, you’re pulling down $250,000 — so what if the guy’s an actor and he’s making $50,000?”
So what indeed, agrees Kate Sidley, a 29-year-old arts administrator who’s completing her master’s degree in theater criticism and met her current (“barely employed”
beau in an improv class. When they first started dating several weeks ago, she was aware that Joe (who asked that his last name not be used), had been laid off months ago from his full-time accounting job. But Sidley was undeterred, she says, “because I know what his goals are and I know that he’ll find work.”
In the last year she’s dated guys of every income level — from a Subway sandwich maker (or rather, “sandwich artist,” as the company refers to them) who didn’t own a credit card, to a man who paid for everything, even swiping her into the subway with his MetroCard. (“I didn’t like it,” she says of the sugar-daddy experience. “It made me feel like I was being purchased.”
Her new guy, Joe, just found work as a bank teller in Connecticut, but last month’s snowstorms collapsed the building’s roof, and he’s been transferred to part-time work at a different branch. “ I can’t believe he finally got a job and the roof caved in!” she laughs. But she’s sticking by his side because he makes her happy, says Sidley, who blames the economy on her man’s work woes. And also the weather.
While being unemployed used to be a social taboo for men on New York’s cutthroat dating scene, more and more young women are keeping an open mind about dudes on the dole.
“There are plenty of amazing, successful, smart people who have been unemployed at some point in the last few years due to layoffs, etc.,” says Ivy Plus Society founder Jennifer Wilde Anderson. She hosts monthly mixers for smart, young singles in NYC and says the social stigma previously attached to dating unemployed guys has vanished.
“Some of these unemployed, formerly overworked men are finally getting some time to play,” she says.
“So they might be more fun to date in between jobs than when they were chained to a BlackBerry!”
Despite vocal insistence that Mr. Unemployed can be Mr. Right, there’s still a dating precipice many New York women won’t go near. That frightening edge involves his parents’ sofa.
“If he’s on his parents’ couch, that means enough time has gone by and he doesn’t seem to have his s - - t together,” says 28-year-old Manhattan mixologist Lindsay Goodale.
“Judging? Yes, but I’m being honest.”
Account exec Hughes adds, “If you’re just crashing on your parents’ couch with a negative bank account, I’m just going to think you’re lazy and will be completely disinterested.”
And IT specialist Smith is firm: “No. Parental. Couches.”
(The take-away for single men living with your parents? Never, ever admit to familial couch surfing.)
James Volpe, a 28-year-old East Villager, says being laid off from his publicity job eight months ago hasn’t hindered his dating life in the least. (Except for conversation topics, which he admits can be lacking without office politics to dissect or disposable income to fund antics around town.)
But Volpe, who’s had a few freelance and part-time gigs this year, still logs about two dates per week. While he always offers to pay, he doesn’t object if his companion is aware of his job void and offers to pay. “That said, I’m not choosing a five-star restaurant and racking up a $250 bill,” he adds.
Still, not every New York woman is convinced her workplace windfall should finance dates. Madeline Johnson, a 28-year-old anesthesiologist and Smith’s co-speed-dater-in-crime, says she would “never, never, ever” date a man who earns less than she does.
“I will take a balding old man with a 401(k) over a 21-year-old that’s unemployed any day,” she says, goading her friend. “OK,” Smith says with a smirk. “But have you ever slept with an unemployed 21-year-old?”
Good news, women of New York! If you’re young and single, you’re making more bucks than men your age in the city. Bad news, women of New York! Now that the word’s out, you might just be picking up the check on dates.
A recent study of US Census data by James Chung and Sally Johnstone of Reach Advisors found that the income of single women in their 20s living in New York City is now 17 percent higher, on average, than that of their male counterparts.
While a financial victory for females, this income shift in the midst of an anemic economy is also shaking up dating rules in the city. Successful 20-something ladies may have scant choice but to date Big Apple guys with skinnier paychecks — or (deep breath) no paychecks at all. So instead of the perfunctory “purse reach” at the end of a romantic meal, young women are now pulling out the plastic.
“I’ve paid for dinners, theater tickets and overnight getaways, because lately the men I date are starving artists who still live at home or can only buy me a pizza slice,” says 24-year-old Cecilia Hughes.
“And I’m lactose intolerant, so that’s a negative.”
Hughes, who lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, and works as an account exec in financial communications, insists she doesn’t mind covering more than her fair share for the sake of romance. In the past two years, she’s started tucking extra money into her handbag before dates, assuming the tab will be split or that she’ll be footing the entire bill. Probably a good plan, given her recent string of down-on-their-luck dates: The laid-off hedge fund manager living with his parents (“He could make a bangin’ pancake,” Hughes recalls wistfully). The Russian artist who conveniently forgot his wallet on three consecutive dates (“I finally forgot to call him back,” she notes). And the part-time bartender who failed to pay his portion of a resort vacation as promised because “tips kinda sucked this month.”
Since those unfortunate souls, Hughes has developed two rules for subsidizing suitors: They must be passionate about life — and actively searching for work.
“I’d much rather pay for my own drink if it means he has a collection of travel stories or big dreams of finishing grad school and starting a global nonprofit or selling a piece of art,” she says. “But no job? Then I sure hope he’s interviewing.”
At a recent speed-dating event in the Flatiron District hosted by NY Minute Dating (with a whopping $40 per person entrance fee), 29-year-old Kelly Smith hunted for men alongside other well-heeled women: doctors, attorneys, media execs and bankers. Smith — a pretty IT specialist who lives in Manhattan and earns $200,000 a year — can’t recall dating any guy who bested her salary in the past two years. This fact leaves her unruffled.
“I don’t need his money, and I can build my own shelves,” she says with a shrug.
Smith has no qualms that her paycheck dwarfs those of the men she dates, so long as the guys are interesting and creative. She points out that men with tiny incomes are often less intimidated by her bank account than striving businessmen, “because they’re not trying to be something they’re not.”
“I’m OK with the 23-year-old busboy or the 21-year-old intern,” she says, listing men she’s recently taken on dates (yep, she paid) in the city.
“I get the booty call where they want to meet up and get a drink, and there’s no question I’m buying the drink.”
Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher says it’s not surprising that New York women are less concerned about a fellow’s puny finances than they may have been in past years.
“Money seems to be pretty far down on the totem pole” of relationship criteria, she says, citing the Single in America study of 5,200 US singles she just completed in partnership with Match.com. According to her findings, only 4 percent of men and 17 percent of women would “definitely not date” someone who was unemployed.
“This is a very, very powerful shift in what we’re looking for,” says Fisher. “In New York, 95 percent of people [surveyed] want someone they can confide in, someone they can trust and someone that respects them — those are all now far more important than finances.”
But Dr. Ali Binazir, author of “The Tao of Dating,” cautions women to consider their life stage before going hog-wild with unemployed guys.
“If you’re 34 and serious about getting married, one of your deal-breakers should be: Is he gainfully employed?” warns Binazir.
“But if you’re 23, you work for Goldman, you’re pulling down $250,000 — so what if the guy’s an actor and he’s making $50,000?”
So what indeed, agrees Kate Sidley, a 29-year-old arts administrator who’s completing her master’s degree in theater criticism and met her current (“barely employed”
beau in an improv class. When they first started dating several weeks ago, she was aware that Joe (who asked that his last name not be used), had been laid off months ago from his full-time accounting job. But Sidley was undeterred, she says, “because I know what his goals are and I know that he’ll find work.”In the last year she’s dated guys of every income level — from a Subway sandwich maker (or rather, “sandwich artist,” as the company refers to them) who didn’t own a credit card, to a man who paid for everything, even swiping her into the subway with his MetroCard. (“I didn’t like it,” she says of the sugar-daddy experience. “It made me feel like I was being purchased.”
Her new guy, Joe, just found work as a bank teller in Connecticut, but last month’s snowstorms collapsed the building’s roof, and he’s been transferred to part-time work at a different branch. “ I can’t believe he finally got a job and the roof caved in!” she laughs. But she’s sticking by his side because he makes her happy, says Sidley, who blames the economy on her man’s work woes. And also the weather.
While being unemployed used to be a social taboo for men on New York’s cutthroat dating scene, more and more young women are keeping an open mind about dudes on the dole.
“There are plenty of amazing, successful, smart people who have been unemployed at some point in the last few years due to layoffs, etc.,” says Ivy Plus Society founder Jennifer Wilde Anderson. She hosts monthly mixers for smart, young singles in NYC and says the social stigma previously attached to dating unemployed guys has vanished.
“Some of these unemployed, formerly overworked men are finally getting some time to play,” she says.
“So they might be more fun to date in between jobs than when they were chained to a BlackBerry!”
Despite vocal insistence that Mr. Unemployed can be Mr. Right, there’s still a dating precipice many New York women won’t go near. That frightening edge involves his parents’ sofa.
“If he’s on his parents’ couch, that means enough time has gone by and he doesn’t seem to have his s - - t together,” says 28-year-old Manhattan mixologist Lindsay Goodale.
“Judging? Yes, but I’m being honest.”
Account exec Hughes adds, “If you’re just crashing on your parents’ couch with a negative bank account, I’m just going to think you’re lazy and will be completely disinterested.”
And IT specialist Smith is firm: “No. Parental. Couches.”
(The take-away for single men living with your parents? Never, ever admit to familial couch surfing.)
James Volpe, a 28-year-old East Villager, says being laid off from his publicity job eight months ago hasn’t hindered his dating life in the least. (Except for conversation topics, which he admits can be lacking without office politics to dissect or disposable income to fund antics around town.)
But Volpe, who’s had a few freelance and part-time gigs this year, still logs about two dates per week. While he always offers to pay, he doesn’t object if his companion is aware of his job void and offers to pay. “That said, I’m not choosing a five-star restaurant and racking up a $250 bill,” he adds.
Still, not every New York woman is convinced her workplace windfall should finance dates. Madeline Johnson, a 28-year-old anesthesiologist and Smith’s co-speed-dater-in-crime, says she would “never, never, ever” date a man who earns less than she does.
“I will take a balding old man with a 401(k) over a 21-year-old that’s unemployed any day,” she says, goading her friend. “OK,” Smith says with a smirk. “But have you ever slept with an unemployed 21-year-old?”
More Men Marrying Wealthier Women
Spoiler :
Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.
“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.
An analysis of census data to be released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that she and countless women like her are victims of a role reversal that is profoundly affecting the pool of potential marriage partners.
“Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.”
The analysis examines Americans 30 to 44 years old, the first generation in which more women than men have college degrees. Women’s earnings have been increasing faster than men’s since the 1970s.
“We’ve known for some time that men need marriage more than women from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being,” said Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., and research director for the Council on Contemporary Families, a research and advocacy group. “Now it is becoming increasingly important to their economic well-being as well.”
The education and income gap has grown even more in the latest recession, when men held about three in four of the jobs that were lost. The Census Bureau said Friday that among married couples with children, only the wife worked in 7 percent of the households last year, compared with 5 percent in 2007. The percentage rose to 12 percent from 9 percent for blacks, among whom the education and income gap by gender has typically been even greater.
“I’m not married, I would like to be married, and my friends are all in a similar situation,” said Dr. Rajalla Prewitt, a 38-year-old psychiatrist in New Jersey. “We’re having difficulty finding someone where there’s a meeting of the minds, where we can have the same goals and values.”
“Particularly, African-American men who are educated want a traditional home where they are the breadwinner,” said Dr. Prewitt, who is a black woman.
In 2007, the Pew report found, median household incomes of married men, married women and unmarried women were all about 60 percent higher than in 1970. But among unmarried men, median household income rose by only 16 percent. These days, men who marry typically gain another breadwinner.
In 1970, 28 percent of wives had husbands who were better educated, and 20 percent were married to men with less education. By 2007, the comparable figures were 19 percent and 28 percent. In 1970, 4 percent of husbands had wives who made more money; in 2007, 22 percent did.
College-educated wives are less likely to have a husband who is college-educated and in the highest income bracket than they were in 1970, and married women are less likely to have a husband who works.
“Among all married couples,” the report said, “wives contribute a growing share of the household income, and a rising share of those couples include a wife who earns more than her husband.”
While marriage rates have declined over all, women with college degrees are still more likely to marry today than less educated women.
But some women find that the dating pressures are intense. Syreeta McFadden, a 35-year-old Columbia and Sarah Lawrence graduate who is between jobs after working in real estate development, said: “With men of any ethnic group, it’s a little intimidating for them to encounter smart women. Money is tricky.
“But, I think for me, it comes down to compatibility,” Ms. McFadden said. “Can you grow with me? Or as my genius friend the textile designer says, she asks on first dates or meeting men in bars, ‘Do you have a passport and a library card?’ ”
Elaine Richardson, who is in her 50s, is divorced and owns a health care consulting firm in Westchester, said that men “call you high maintenance if you look like you don’t need anyone to take care of you.”
Professor Coontz at Evergreen State recalled that from the late 19th century through the 1940s, it was not uncommon for a woman to finish high school or go to college and marry a man who made more but was less educated.
“This changed in the 1950s to 1970, as financial returns to education really mounted for men, but not for women,” Professor Coontz said.
The latest shift, Professor Coontz said, “is truly a sea change in gender relations within marriage.”
“Many people have worried that men’s increasing dependence on their wives, especially if they are laid off, might lead to the kind of backlash against women workers that happened in the Great Depression,” Professor Coontz said. “But I think that wives’ work has become so normative that this is unlikely.”
Ms. Zielinski, the fashion stylist, said her best friend, a man, told her once: " 'You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?' He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing."
“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.
An analysis of census data to be released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that she and countless women like her are victims of a role reversal that is profoundly affecting the pool of potential marriage partners.
“Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.”
The analysis examines Americans 30 to 44 years old, the first generation in which more women than men have college degrees. Women’s earnings have been increasing faster than men’s since the 1970s.
“We’ve known for some time that men need marriage more than women from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being,” said Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., and research director for the Council on Contemporary Families, a research and advocacy group. “Now it is becoming increasingly important to their economic well-being as well.”
The education and income gap has grown even more in the latest recession, when men held about three in four of the jobs that were lost. The Census Bureau said Friday that among married couples with children, only the wife worked in 7 percent of the households last year, compared with 5 percent in 2007. The percentage rose to 12 percent from 9 percent for blacks, among whom the education and income gap by gender has typically been even greater.
“I’m not married, I would like to be married, and my friends are all in a similar situation,” said Dr. Rajalla Prewitt, a 38-year-old psychiatrist in New Jersey. “We’re having difficulty finding someone where there’s a meeting of the minds, where we can have the same goals and values.”
“Particularly, African-American men who are educated want a traditional home where they are the breadwinner,” said Dr. Prewitt, who is a black woman.
In 2007, the Pew report found, median household incomes of married men, married women and unmarried women were all about 60 percent higher than in 1970. But among unmarried men, median household income rose by only 16 percent. These days, men who marry typically gain another breadwinner.
In 1970, 28 percent of wives had husbands who were better educated, and 20 percent were married to men with less education. By 2007, the comparable figures were 19 percent and 28 percent. In 1970, 4 percent of husbands had wives who made more money; in 2007, 22 percent did.
College-educated wives are less likely to have a husband who is college-educated and in the highest income bracket than they were in 1970, and married women are less likely to have a husband who works.
“Among all married couples,” the report said, “wives contribute a growing share of the household income, and a rising share of those couples include a wife who earns more than her husband.”
While marriage rates have declined over all, women with college degrees are still more likely to marry today than less educated women.
But some women find that the dating pressures are intense. Syreeta McFadden, a 35-year-old Columbia and Sarah Lawrence graduate who is between jobs after working in real estate development, said: “With men of any ethnic group, it’s a little intimidating for them to encounter smart women. Money is tricky.
“But, I think for me, it comes down to compatibility,” Ms. McFadden said. “Can you grow with me? Or as my genius friend the textile designer says, she asks on first dates or meeting men in bars, ‘Do you have a passport and a library card?’ ”
Elaine Richardson, who is in her 50s, is divorced and owns a health care consulting firm in Westchester, said that men “call you high maintenance if you look like you don’t need anyone to take care of you.”
Professor Coontz at Evergreen State recalled that from the late 19th century through the 1940s, it was not uncommon for a woman to finish high school or go to college and marry a man who made more but was less educated.
“This changed in the 1950s to 1970, as financial returns to education really mounted for men, but not for women,” Professor Coontz said.
The latest shift, Professor Coontz said, “is truly a sea change in gender relations within marriage.”
“Many people have worried that men’s increasing dependence on their wives, especially if they are laid off, might lead to the kind of backlash against women workers that happened in the Great Depression,” Professor Coontz said. “But I think that wives’ work has become so normative that this is unlikely.”
Ms. Zielinski, the fashion stylist, said her best friend, a man, told her once: " 'You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?' He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing."
Would You Date a Smarter, Richer Woman?
Spoiler :
The New York Times this week raises an interesting point: as women earn more than they used to, own their own businesses and seek ongoing education, they’re increasingly “marrying down.” And having a hard time finding the men to do so, apparently. (Well, when Gawker is calling you a “leech with a penis” it kind of…oh, right, it’s Gawker. No one cares.)
We’re all bachelors here so we could care less about the marriage angle. Instead, the question is, faced with a growing percentage of women in the dating pool who are more well-off and/or educated than us, can we deal?
I think we can. Personally, I’ve dated women who made significantly more than me and not given it much of a thought. And as far as intelligence is concerned, the smarter the better, and a couple of my exes have been working on curing cancer. Perhaps this should be two separate questions, because I know a few guys who would have no problem enjoying a rich girlfriend’s lifestyle but just can’t stand being the underdog in a battle of wits.
But the problem with a woman who’s rich and educated might not be the money or education at all—it might be her drive and ambition and other things that make her less soft and feminine, and more like…a man. It also may be that like a lot of us, many of these rich, educated women are in denial about the personality issues that doom their relationships, and would rather blame something that’s obviously not their own fault. This wasn’t lost on the Village Voice, who from their perch on the wrong side of the tracks echo that they’d be all over a successful woman like the Vikings defense on Tony Romo.
I can see another angle, though: a lot of guys want to at least be able to give their woman what she gives him. If we can’t contribute financially or help solve problems, what can we bring to a relationship? And are all those rich, smart women emotionally and socially equipped to clearly let their men know why they’re valued as a partner? (The answer to that second question is, they had better be.)
So back to the question: if your Match.com date pulled her Jaguar into the parking spot next to your Ford Focus to meet for your date, would it intimidate you? Would it affect how you’d handle the date?
We’re all bachelors here so we could care less about the marriage angle. Instead, the question is, faced with a growing percentage of women in the dating pool who are more well-off and/or educated than us, can we deal?
I think we can. Personally, I’ve dated women who made significantly more than me and not given it much of a thought. And as far as intelligence is concerned, the smarter the better, and a couple of my exes have been working on curing cancer. Perhaps this should be two separate questions, because I know a few guys who would have no problem enjoying a rich girlfriend’s lifestyle but just can’t stand being the underdog in a battle of wits.
But the problem with a woman who’s rich and educated might not be the money or education at all—it might be her drive and ambition and other things that make her less soft and feminine, and more like…a man. It also may be that like a lot of us, many of these rich, educated women are in denial about the personality issues that doom their relationships, and would rather blame something that’s obviously not their own fault. This wasn’t lost on the Village Voice, who from their perch on the wrong side of the tracks echo that they’d be all over a successful woman like the Vikings defense on Tony Romo.
I can see another angle, though: a lot of guys want to at least be able to give their woman what she gives him. If we can’t contribute financially or help solve problems, what can we bring to a relationship? And are all those rich, smart women emotionally and socially equipped to clearly let their men know why they’re valued as a partner? (The answer to that second question is, they had better be.)
So back to the question: if your Match.com date pulled her Jaguar into the parking spot next to your Ford Focus to meet for your date, would it intimidate you? Would it affect how you’d handle the date?
.
