Return of the Penguins
Risk laughed maniacally. The armies of Turkey were at his command!
The Sultan, predictably, was not amused.
"Really now, this isn't amusing."
"The coup? It really is, actually- I liked the bit with the Laser-Janissaries."
"Sickeningly althistorical. You should be ashame-"
"It's not historical if no one lived to record it. Now shut up."
"-but that's not the worst part- look at your track record as the Turks! Pathetic! You'll ruin all I struggled to achieve!"
Risk froze. His eyes narrowed.
"That, sir, was very poorly considered." Dramatically, he drew out a control pad, with a large, glowing red button square in the center. He pressed down. A 1-ton weight fell from the ceiling, crushing an nearby penguin. The Sultan blinked.
"You would want to move, say, six steps over to the right, would you?"
"I'd rather die than take an order from you."
"Hahah!" laughed Risk, "That's quite ironic, for as fact would have it... I am going to... well... anyway... oh, hell with it." Risk pulled out a gun and fired a black hole at the Sultan. He collapsed into a singularity, making a strange noise something like a crumpling paper.
"Diplomacy time!"