Please get your orders in, ESPECIALLY if you're involved in a major conflict. If people don't get their orders in soon then it is likely the update will be delayed for ages again. Think of the children.
James Fox: Mr. Samaras, welcome to our TV News. It is an honor to have you here, sir.
Antonis Samaras: Thank you, Mr. Fox, for giving me a chance to explain to the people the situation and answer to the worker's questions.
J: My first question has to do about the numbers of Soviet soldiers. It seems that as the war goes on, more and more soldiers die and our military strength is declining. Is this true?
A: No, this is a wrong picturing of the situation. Indeed, we have lost many men. It is a war after all. But those men died to secure the strategic advantage of the Soviet Union in the region of the Middle East. Now that Jerusalem is secured and we have a strategic superiority, the war in the Middle East is over. Only the crushing of the few remaining Jerusalem bandits remains. Now, we can focus on the West, recapture Samaragrant and end this war once and for all with the conquest of the entire world.
J: Wow! That is some planning! Even Napoleon could not have such strategic thinking. You are awesome!
A: You are overstating.
J: Not at all. If Napoleon was alive, he would bow before you strategic prowess. Anyway, the next question is about how you plan to solve the Middle East Question.
A: The only way to build a new world is to destroy the old one. So, I shall genocide all humans in the Middle East and resettle the area with young people who will live in Special Modified Areas, where everything will be state-owned and currency would be completely eliminated. Instead, people will share goods according to their needs and shall work according to what needs to be produced in that area. For example, some will farm, others will be doctors and so on. But since everyone will share for free their work, everyone will be happy. And we will surely not take their products to enrich ourselves.
J: I see. You will at last make Marx's dream a reality. Karl Marx would surely bow before you intellectual prowess. You make Lenin cower in shame.
A: You are overstating.
J: Not at all. The final question is, what will happen to Australia once it is conquered? They seem to be the source of all capitalist evil.
A: Indeed. I shall first crucify the entire population of Australia, then sink the island and finally send submarines to bomb the underwater remains of the continent.
J: Thanks for giving me this interview.
Darth Revan
- Alexis, Nikos Papandreou's Secretary before becoming Darth Revan
- Darth Revan, Dark Lord of the Soviet Union
Antonis Samaras, Pol Pot and Mathalamus have developed a new asset for the Soviet Union. They had taken Alexis, the Secretary of Nikos Papandreou, in the secret laboratory of Pol Pot. Mathalamus then drugged him with several toxic drugs produced by the Basil Class Supercarrier itself. This chemical reaction wiped out all of Alexis' memories and gave him superhuman speed and prowess. Then, Mathalamus inserted into Alexis' brain all the knowledge about the strategic plans of Caesar, Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Rommel and other great Generals, effectively giving him knowledge of the strategies of all of history's Great Captains. Of course, this does not translate into Alexis being made a "Napoleon" but sure it has given him the knowledge he needs to lead the Soviet forces in the Middle East to victory.
Alexis was renamed Darth Revan and was given a cybernetic suit to wear, which increases his prowess and terrifies his enemies. Darth Revan was then named Dark Lord of the Soviet Union and send to command the Soviet Army.
Antonis Samaras sat in his Captains chair and looked at the monitor. Although this new strategy of starving Jerusalem into submission cooked up by his trusted General Napoleon Tsipras would take a lot longer than just assaulting the city, however it had a much higher chance of success. By blocking off the supplies from the Mediterranean Sea and by cutting off supplies by assaulting Iraq, soon enough the Allied forces bottled up in Jerusalem would not have enough supplies to feed themselves. The Allied soldiers would soon be too hungry to fight properly and that is when they would strike with all their might.
Of course the Allied forces would try and stop this from happening, even now those damned catpeople were sending their fighters at the Basil. But even in its damaged state, the Basil could hold them off. But there was something that was concerning to Samaras.
Has anyone seen Mathamalus? asked Samaras. Mathamalus was overseeing the repairs of the Basil and he had meant to report back to Samaras.
Im sorry sir, said Nikos Papandreou, who was sitting in the first officers chair. I havent seen him anywhere.
Neither have I. said Napoleon Tsipras, who had just walked in with a manila folder. And Im afraid that I have some more bad news. Our assault on Iraq has failed, Darth Revans army encountered an unexpected Australian squad. The armies were routed and Darth Revan disappeared in the chaos. Papandreou slammed his fist into the arm of his chair.
Dammit! said Papandreou That cost so much money to make, I could have used that money to put into my Swiss bank accounts! Revan was a tireless hero of the people, his loss is a deep tragedy!
Dont worry Papandreou, said Samaras We will avenge him. Aim the Nuclear Warhead to Kirribilli House. I cant wait to see the look on Abbots face when he is reduced to radioactive dust!
Yes sir! said Pol Pot, who was manning the weapons department. He was about to take a break from aiming the Genocide Cannons at the Khajiitian Aircraft to send a message to the Nuclear Launch Bay, but then suddenly his console exploded and he went flying through the room.
Whats happening? screamed Samaras as the Basil shook violently. Samaras keyed in a few buttons in his console, putting a display of the side of the ship on-screen. The screen was filled up with a vast fleet of Lapras, Gyarados and various other Water-Type Pokemon.
THOSE GOOMY BASTARDS! screamed Samaras as explosions rocked the ship and water started shooting through the holes.
Sir, structural integrity is failing! said Tsipras, who had just took over one of the consoles from a deceased crewman. Weve got to get to the escape boats!
If were going down, said Samaras Then Im taking those Australian pigs down with me! Samaras ran over to Pol Pots console and hammered in the coordinates and pressed send.
A few minutes later, a huge explosion rocked the ship
Thanks to Thorvald of Lym and e350tb for this next bit of RP!
Damianos stands by the missile terminal, patiently awaiting the year's next target. Samaras may be the Great Leader that creates the plan and Tsipras the top general that carries it out, but Damianos is the man in charge of actually firing the warheads, and that gives him no small degree of pride.
Perhaps a little too much pride. Sometimes he thinks he could choose targets much more effectively than the Great Helmsman: so far their Alpha Strikes have been conducted for political symbolism and without regard to the front lines which, as even a few field officers admitted before being thrown overboard, have been crumbling under Coalition attrition.
The klaxon begins to wail and a paper strip containing the security code emerges from the console. "Target confirmed at [location]," he reads. The subordinate officers spring into action to prep the missile for launch. All of a sudden, Damianos' vision shifts to a washed-out grey as sound and movement around him abruptly slows to a complete stop.
"Hey, there!"
The officer spins around and finds himself confronted by a yellow triangle with a single slit-pupiled eye hovering a little way ahead of him. It has a tiny black top-hat, bowtie, and noodly arms and legs. It has not mouth, yet speaks with an echo-y, high-pitched buzz.
"Who... what are you?!" Damianos stutters, hand subonsciously reaching for his gun.
"Name's Bill," says the figure with unnerving sprightliness, tipping his hat. "Bill Cipher. And you must be that pool boy that loved dark meat! Ha! I'm kidding! You never worked at a pool." A walking cane materializes out of nowhere and Bill leans on it one-legged as though he isn't three feet in the air. "I know exactly who you are, Plotarchis Damianos!"
"What do you want from me?!" the officer barks with audible anxiety.
"We'll get to that later. The question is," Bill twirls his cane before aiming at Damianos, "What do you want from me?"
"I don't want anything from you!" he stammers.
"See, I don't think that's true." Bill floats ethereally around the man; Damianos notices the apparition is so thin he's virtually two-dimensional. "I mean, you don't think you do, but that's only 'cause I haven't told you what I can do yet!"
Bill eyes the missile console meaningfully. Finally coming to his senses, Damianos draws his gun. "Get away from there!"
"Who-hoah! Easy there, Trigger!" He waves his stick-arms non-threateningly, though by his voice he's clearly unfazed. "I'm a ghost, see? I can't actually touch any of this!" He makes to flip a switch, and sure enough his hand goes right through the panel.
Damianos relaxes his posture but remains on his guard. "What do you want?" he asks again.
"To help you, Dammy-boy!" Bill floats back over to where he first appeared, twirling his cane. "Ever wanted to be famous? 'Course ya do! Problem is 'Tony's got you squirreled away below deck where no-one even knows you live, carrying out his instructions like any other dumb sap." Damianos casts a furtive glance to the subordinate officers, still frozen in stasis. "I can tell you're a go-getter, Dammy, a made man! You deserve so much more than standing around pushing buttons on someone else's orders! I'll let you in on a secret..." He drifts a little closer, tapping the officer on the shoulder; "I see you as captain of this ship!"
"R-Really?" he asks, dumbfounded.
"Of course! Don't you?" Damianos has to take a minute to think about it. "You fire the missiles; you are literally the most powerful man on the planet right now! And you know 'Tony's squandering this precious cargo on cliché terrorism when he could be winning the war! I mean, this tub's already so full of holes it's a wonder you aren't all swimming yet!"
"You... You can help me take command?" he asks slowly, hopefully.
"'Course I can!" Bill exclaims, throwing out his arms, "Why else would I be here?"
A childlike, eager grin spreads across Damianos' face. He's about to ask what he needs to do, when a minor memory clicks. "Wait," he mutters, face falling and gun resurfacing, "You're from the Mystery Nation! How do I know I can trust you?!"
"You can't!" Bill shrugs, "But how d'you know 'Tony won't toss you overboard tomorrow simply 'cause he feels like it? Here's the clincher, Dammy: Stanford Pines made me upper management, which means I know every juicy detail about what his government's up to! Investment plans, alliances, troop movements..." Bill seems to double in size, voice suddenly dropping several octaves as his narrow pupil contracts even smaller; "EVERYTHING."
He's back to 'normal' in an instant. Damianos starts breathing again. "W-Why would you help me? Betray your own nation?"
"You've never watched Gravity Falls, have you?" Bill continues before he can answer. "You want to be captain of this ship? I can make you captain! Stan's amassing an army to sink you for good; he's throwing just about everything into this; and I know exactly where it's rallying! One bomb, and it's gone, along with a good chunk of upper management. One bomb, and you knock that country off the world stage. 'Tony couldn't possibly overlook you after that!"
It's practically Damianos' dream come true. He's always known he has the intuition, and now he can prove he's leadership material! Command of the Basil..! Maybe... dare he imagine... he could supplant Samaras himself? "And what would you need in return?"
"Oh, barely anything," Bill replies, twirling his cane, "Just a soldier to borrow for a bit. A Plotarchis such as yourself shouldn't have any trouble scrounging up someone for pool duty! I'll even give him back when I'm done!"
"One soldier, for the entire Mystery Nation?"
"That's what I said! One soldier, and I can etch your name in the annals of history! So whaddaya say, Dammy-boy?" Bill extends his hand, a blue flame springing about it.
Damianos looks over the controls. Loan Bill a deck hand, and he'll be made master of this ship! Holstering his gun, the officer claps his hand to Bill's.
There's a bright blue flash and he feels himself yanked forward, spinning, oddly weightless. Coming to his senses he finds himself floating upside-down, staring back at... himself? Except his eyes are bug-eyed and slit-pupiled, a Cheshire grin plastered across his face. He looks down at himself and finds his body transparent. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he hollers.
"Like I said, borrowing a soldier!" Bill, now in Damianos' body, replies. "You can't expect me to work the console if I'm not dressed for the part!"
"Oh, right, incorporeality," he mutters nervously, struggling to right himself. "J-Just make it quick, OK?"
"Sure thing, Dammy!" Bill snaps his fingers and the world returns to speed. Back still turned to the rest of the staff, he unholsters the gun.
"Plotarchis?" asks one of the technicians, "Are you alright?"
"W-Wait," cries Damianos, "What are you doing?!"
Still bearing the manic grin, Bill turns around and levels the gun at the nearest man. "Damianos, are you mad?!" shrieks the officer.
The real Damianos flails his arms wildly. "It's not me!" he screams, "I'm being possessed! Shoot him! Shoot him!!" But to everyone else, he's invisible. Bill shoots the console operators clear in the head; a third man by the far door reacts in time and delivers a bullet into Bill's gut.
"Oh, hey, I've been shot!" he shouts in glee, lowering the gun and probing the wound with his free hand. The surviving crewman watches in horror as Bill far-too-excitedly licks his blood-soaked fingers. "Warm, tangy, bit salty," he appraises, before shooting the man twice in the heart.
"What are you DOING?!" Damianos cries again, "You said you'd help me take the ship!!"
"No, I said I could help you take the ship!" Bill twirls his bloody finger, "There's a difference! Besides, I know an even better use for this baby!" Holstering the gun, Bill faces the console, then throws his body against it. His arms flail about as he bangs his head into the controls again and again. "Ha, ha! Pain is hilarious!"
Snapping out of his terror and finally getting a handle on his ghost-body, Damianos sails to, and through, Bill. "What?!" he sputters, "But how did you..?"
"Oh, yeah," he exclaims as if in afterthought as his face rolls back and forth over the panel, "I might've been lying about not being able to interact with the real world, but then I didn't have the control codes to run this thing, so you weren't totally useless after all!"
Damianos looks at the display and realizes the launch sequence has started, but the silo door is still sealed. "Y-You have to open the door!" he screams, "Or it'll blow up on deck! We'll all DIE!!"
"Cool, I've never seen what happens to a body at ground zero!"
"You're INSANE!"
"Sure I am! What's your point?"
Less than a minute on the clock. He can't abort the launch, but he might manage to open the door in time... Think, Damianos! There must be a way to get your body back! Summoning up all his determination, he flies back at Bill. He feels a nauseous plummet in his stomach, followed by his body plummeting to the ground, then the aches and stings of Bill's abuse. "Like I said, Dammy-boy, just borrowing..!" He bolts to his feet, frantically searching for the demon as he keys the door, but Bill has utterly vanished. Just as the missile starts to lift off he sees the silo open up, and lets out a sigh equal parts relief and painful exhaustion.
The Nova Terran soldiers sat in the transport truck as it clanked along the Mexican road. The road was less than stable considering all the shelling that it had taken during the war. But after the inexplicable Cybermen exodus from the region, the place hadnt seen much action.
Im bored. said Private John Rodgers longingly I signed up to this campaign to kick some metal ass, not sit around in trucks and shoot up cardboard cut outs.
Honestly I prefer the peace and quiet to the fighting, said Private Romeo Starcross Its relaxing.
Well yeah, but thats only because you seem content staring at your crotch the whole time. retorted John Weirdo. It was true, Romeo spend most of his days staring at down at his pants. It was honestly a little creepy.
Im looking at this locket, said Romeo, Here. Romeo handed John his locket, in it contained two photos, one of a very pretty girl and another picture of Romeo and the girl.
Wow, shes pretty, said John Is she your girlfriend?
Wife, actually. Romeo replied.
You seem a little young to have a wife. said John No offense.
None taken, said Romeo. We were drawn together under unusual circumstances. Her name is Juliet and before you open your mouth I have heard every single possible joke or comment you could possibly make at this point so please dont say anything. John had his mouth open like he was about to say something, but he promptly shut it and let Romeo continue.
Anyway, said Romeo as he continued the story Our parents werent exactly happy with our engagement, you see I was the son of a rich freighting company and she was the daughter of a rival. Hearing of the war, we decided to run away, get married and then enlist. After the war were going to get a nice piece of North American landscape and begin our lives anew.
Wow. said the flabbergasted John after a few moments silence. Where is she now?
Shes in Florida, said Romeo We could have applied for a program to stay together, but Juliet didnt want any of that. She just thought that because we were lucky enough to get our marriage papers in order before being shipped out that it entitled us to anything special. Still, I really miss her. I just hope that shes doing alright.
Meanwhile in Florida, Juliet was certainly not alright.
DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! said the Cybermen as they marched towards their positions.
Delete this, buddy! shouted the obviously-Canadian man dressed in a 1918 G*rman Army Officers Uniform as he shot a bazooka at the Cybermen.
That looks like the last of them for now. said Private Juliet Starcross. They had been running for the last six hours away from the Cybermen after they had been ambushed and her army was scuttled. Being the only Nova Terran soldier in her rag-tag group (the rest of the group were made up of totally-not-Mysterious soldiers and Nova Terran resistance fighters), she was in charge.
This ruined building looks like an alright place to set up camp. said Juliet to her terrified rag-tag bunch, trying to instil the image of a confident leader. It wasnt going very well so far. Bob, you take first watch. The Canadian nodded as he pulled out a SMG.
As for everyone else, we should get some Juliet was about to continue, but she was cut off by a very commanding presence.
That will be enough, private. said Connie Marshall, Imperator of Nova Terra. She came seemingly out of nowhere, covered by a half-dozen elite bodyguards wearing full body armour and helmets.
I-Imperator! said Juliet as she quickly as she and her compatriots quickly gave a salute.
At ease, said the Imperator As soon as I heard about what was happening in North America I came immediately to provide reinforcements. My main army is a couple of clicks north of here, you should join us and get seem much needed rest. You look like you deserve it. You could sense the radiant sense of relief and glee coming off the faces of the soldiers as they marched behind the Imperator. They were all so exhausted that none of them stopped to think of the sheer improbability of the situation. The chances of the Imperator being in the middle of Nowhere, Florida was near impossible. Perhaps if any of them had thought to question the situation that they were in then they would have not had such a terrible fate.
Here we are. said the Imperator after walking a short distance, stopping in the middle of a forest.
But maam, said Bob I dont see any before Bob could continue, gas grenades were dropped from the tops of the trees. Everyone was unconscious in less than a second, except for the Imperator, her men and Juliet. Juliet felt disoriented as she started to drop to the ground. Using the last of her strength to keep her eyes open, she looked in horror as the face of her beloved leader shifted into a formless grey blob, shortly after the world went black.
Hm, said the Imperator as it looked upon the unconscious soldiers. They all seem healthy enough, take them all to the upgrade station. Except for the woman, she displayed an interesting resistance to the effects of the gas. Take her to the experimentation camps, Im sure our allies could use her to find more effective bioweapons. The androids helped their commander carry the unconscious people away, leaving none but the trees as witness.
Private Willy Potts ran off of the boat that had just landed in the city. Willy was honoured to be one of the first people to touch down on this accursed shore. His grandpappy had fought in Inchon and his father was one of the Butchers of Hanoi. He knew that both his father and his grandpappy would be goddamned proud that he was coming back to finish the goddamned job. But Willy knew that they wouldnt be happy about how terrified he was.
Hey Parts! said Private Brown Put your head up solider, youre a marine not a timid school girl! Wlly straightened himself up, trying to push the fear down as far as he could. Willy didnt consider himself the strongest person around, while he was far stronger than any civilian or any of the sissies in the army, the Marines hold you to a different standard. He regularly lost arm wrestles to everyone in else in the barracks, including the few women who served there. Then again, everyone lost arm wrestles to Brown, but still. Although he was weak, he considered himself mentally strong. Whenever one of his squad heckled him (and that happened a lot, with the Marine Corps crude sense of humour and his name sounding a little too much like Private Parts) he would instantly come back with a retort. Although he had really some nasty stuff fighting the Japs, they all had, it really took a lot to shake him. He was great at suppressing the fear. Except for today, that is.
Whats wrong Willy? asked Brown, as she tilted her head in confusion Youd usually chew me out with one of your corny-ass jokes when I say something like that. Dont tell me that this upcoming fights got you down.
I dunno Brown, said Willy in a soft voice Ive got a bad feeling about this engagement.
Pah, exclaimed Brown The Japs are gonna all be up North, weve got nothing to worry about!
I SWEAR TO GOD, screamed the Sargent at the front of the ship I WILL RAM MY BOOT UP THE ARSE OF THE NEXT PERSON TO OPEN THEIR YAP HOLE! THIS IS A SERIOUS MILITARY OPERATION, ACT LIKE IT!
If there was one thing that Willy was more afraid of than death, then it was psychics. The mind was what put humans above animals, without the brain they were no more than apes. Yet a psychic could take that away in less than a second. That was why he always hid a small piece of aluminium foil in his helmet. Yes, he knew that the chances of encountering a psychic was about a billion-to-one. He knew that the psychic beacons were a priority target for the Vietnamese bombers and that it would take a few hours before Shi could worm her way into their minds using one even if it wasnt blown into smithereens. He had seen the endless films on how aluminium foil didnt work. And he knew that the Sargent would chew him out a million times over if he was caught. But hed be damned if he didnt try anything to stop himself ending up like one of hundreds he had killed. He would rather be court martialled and then executed than become one of Shis puppets and watch helplessly as he gunned down his comrades.
GO GO GO! screamed the Sargent as the boat hit the shore. He ran through the beachfront, shooting down the mindless zombies that clobbered towards him. Brown was right, the garrison was pathetic. Shi had obviously not expected that they were going to attack this far south. Taking cover behind a ruined building with Brown and some of his other, he reloaded his rifle. But for some reason, Willy couldnt shake off the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
His fears were confirmed as a loud booming noise came from behind him. Three Giantesses slowly rose out of the ground, sending the Vietnamese Navy flying in all directions. Suddenly, the aeroplanes that had been providing them with vital support up until then started falling out of the sky. Willy looked to his comrades in a panic. Strangely, they were all standing up and they had all dropped their weapons, staring blankly into the distance. Willy looked to what they were all looking at and saw his greatest fear realised; Empress Shi, the great Luciferina herself, was standing there on the beach, wearing a nightmarishly lewd devil costume.
Pah, said Shi loudly as she looked upon the Marines The greatest fighting force in the world my ass. I thought Id come take a look to see what the fuss is about, but this is pathetic! My grandmother put up better mental resistance than you guys! Willy was panicking, no one could resist the power of Shi when she was this close. It took Potts panicked brain a few moments to realise that he was the exception to that rule. He didnt know if it was the foil or if he was just damned lucky, but his brain was unmolested.
Willy tuned out Shis crazed ranting as he looked around him. Nobody else seemed to be able to resist Shis mind control, he was the only one who could stop all of this madness. Willy carefully aimed his rifle at Shis head, he knew he was going to only get one shot at this before Shi realised that something was wrong. He pulled the trigger and, instead of firing off a shot, he heard the distinctive noise of his rifle jamming. Willy swore under his breath as he threw aside his rifle and pulled out his sidearm. He wasnt going to be able to make the shot at this range, so hed charge at the madwoman. As much as he hated to leave his fellow soldiers dominated, if he bungled this theyd all be dead. So he had to wait for the perfect moment.
and with all this humiliation youve inflicted upon me, Shi ranted angrily I decided it was time for you be a little humiliated yourself. Usually Id get the giantess to eat you, but that would take too long, so Ive thought of a different humiliation. Remember, dont forget to smile for the camera! The Japanese soldiers pulled out their cellphones and started recording the Marines, who started to walk towards each other. Undressing themselves clumsily, Willy watched in horror as his friends started biting into each other in a horrific cannibalistic orgy. Shi started laughing manically, she was enjoying this spectacle. Willy jumped forward with a scream, he had to stop this madness now. Shi looked at him in complete surprise, seeing someone who had managed to resist her powers.
Huh? was the last words to exit the Empress mouth as Willy emptied his entire clip into her body. The last round hit went straight through her head, killing her instantly. As soon as her body hit the ground, the Marines uncoupled themselves in terror and confusion. The Giantesses clutched their heads and, without Shis psychic field to stimulate them, fell back into the sea and died. The Japanese and Korean soldiers instantly dropped their cameras and lied down, hands on their heads.
Potts dropped his gun and took off his helmet, clutching it against his chest. He had singlehandedly stopped the war, the Empire of the Rising Sun was no more. This wasnt the time for jokes, but every hero needed a cheesy one-liner to say after offing their greatest foe. And he had the perfect one.
Well Empress, said Willy as he pulled the aluminium out of his helmet. It looks like your evil plans have been foiled.
Old Man Mathamalus flew in his stealth hot air balloon, clutching the plans to the Basil Superclass Carrier tightly. With the Basil destroyed and most of the leadership either dead, missing or captured the USSR was basically dead now. Math always knew when it was time to jump ship. On the bright side, now that the Basil was sunk to the bottom of the ocean, the you-can-only-build-one-Basil restriction was now lifted. Math which nation he could con into building his doom ship next. Perhaps the United Manchinians would be willing to give it a try. I mean, being a cyborg couldnt be THAT bad.
Its actually a lot worse than you think. said an incredibly handsome man who had appeared on the deck of the balloon. He was clean shaven, was well groomed and was so attractive that even the straight men and lesbians went ooh-lah-lah.
ITS YOU! screamed Math in horror. After quickly composing himself, he tried for a more dignified response. I thought that Ninja had gotten rid of the
Sssh! said the handsome man quickly Spoilers! Jeeze, if you say my name willy-nilly then youll ruin all the suspense. Honestly.
Why are you daring to stand before me? asked Math. You may have taken down Ninja and the others IOTers easily enough, but with your powers safely locked away within the Vault of Powergaming you dont stand a chance against me.
Pah, said the handsome man like Id need that to defeat a third-rate munchkin like you.
Third-rate, why you said Math angrily Ill show you who the third rate one is around here! GATE OF BYZANTON! During his lifetime, Math gathered all the uranium in the world and used it to build his massive array of nuclear missiles which was stored in his palace. All of the nuclear missiles in the world were made from uranium salvaged from his palace. Because of this unique achievement, he is now able to summon his missiles with a mere snap of his finger.
Hah, said the handsome man Using babby tools as always Math. Let me show you what a real man uses in a fight. Out of his coat, the handsome man pulled out a massive Banhammer.
The Banhammer of Mosher: The Hammer of Hypocritical Banning! gasped Math as he saw the legendary weapon. Math started launching his missiles, but it was too late. As soon as the Banhammer was unsheathed, Math was banished to the dark realms of the internet outside of IOT and CFC for a thousand years. The only thing remaining of Math was the plans to creating the Basil, which landed at the handsome mans feet. He grinned and picked it up.
Excellent, He said as he shifted CivOasis Bracelets of War, Fertility and Instantaneous Teleportation With this I almost have everything I need. Suddenly he appeared in a chamber.
Ah, Pateron! said Tambry, Grand Phoobah of the Cult of Saber. We have dug through the ruins and have found the object that you desired! She motioned to one of the cultists who produced a book, which the handsome man took.
Ah, he said after inspecting the book Tyos Book of Fire Wizardry and Naval Curses. The last genuine Imperial Sigil not in my possession. You have held your end of the bargain and for that I thank you.
Yes, said Rob, Co-Grand Phoobah of the Cult of Saber. Saber teaches us to honour all agreements. Now you will give us the necessary materials to summon her from her eternal slumber and allow us to bring her light to the whole world!
Yeah, said the handsome man I would do that, but I think youre going to be a bit busy fending off the Soviet soldiers I bribed to destroy this base.
What have you said Tambry angrily.
Dont act like youre surprised, said the handsome man The main villain always betrays the minor villains hes given promises to when hes close to achieving his evil plans. Besides, if Ninja summoned Saber after all these blatant Fate references his user base would revolt. Surely you would have realised this. The room filled with Saber cultists stared blankly back at him. The handsome man sighed.
To be cursed with such genre-blind idiots everywhere I go he muttered Anyway, Ive got places to be and things to do. Good luck against those missiles! The handsome man shifted CivOasis Bracelets again and disappeared.
He reappeared in a small warehouse in one of the island owned by UKIP. He had bribed the local Captain significantly for him not to be disturbed, but soon that would no longer be an issue. In this warehouse, he had all 100 Imperial Sigils in the one place. There was enough power in this room to level the Earth thrice over. But he was not interested in that, there was a lesser known function of the Imperial Sigils that he was very interested in.
And that feature, my dear reader, said the handsome man Is that if all 100 Sigils are in the same room and owned by the same person, they allow the owner to summon the priceless MacGuffin Key! Soon what is mine will be returned to me! The handsome man then laughed an evil laugh. The room was soon covered in a miniature golden storm, the storm quickly assembled itself into the legendary MacGuffin Key.
With this MacGuffin Key, said the handsome man I open the Vault of Powergaming and take from it what I desire! Instead of a thunderous clap that the handsome man expected, there was a low key error noise. Turning to face the wall, he saw the most infuriating thing that he had ever seen in his incredibly infuriating existence. It was a sign, it read:
You need 5 MacGuffin Key(s) to access the Vault of Powergaming, OR you can pay 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, Space Jew Bucks to continue!
This paywall brought to you by Ubisoft: Were owned by Space Jews now!
In the small British island, the screams of the handsome man could be heard all throughout the night.
****************
Sorry that this took so long, life has been really busy recently. And Im afraid it will continue to be busy for quite some time. I cant say for sure when the next part of the update will be out, but I doubt it will be anytime soon. Sorry everyone, this is unavoidable.
With Ninjacow's permission, when the update comes, I shall rejoin in the Caucasus as a nation led by Darth Revan, who has lost his memories after his defeat in Iraq and does not remember his USSR days. More when my sign up post comes after the update.
Imperator Connie Marshall was sitting at her desk, awaiting for the latest after action reports. "Well" she said impatiently "Let's hear it".
"My Imperatoress..." Grand Admiral Passik hesitated as he continues onward "...Oliver".
Surface Marshall Oliver stands firm as he explains the dire situation to Connie "The Cybermen made a dramatic withdraw out of Mexico, leaving the bulk of our forces not engaging them. Unfortunately, this has lead them to overwhelm our flanking armies. Our capture troopers have oversaw their trickery, disguising themselves as our own soldiers just to bring them to a trap". Then he clears his throat "We've also have rumors that the Cybermen are gathering allies just to undermine us in this war of attribution".
Connie, continues to stare at the map. Then begins to take off her beret, slowly "The following men will stay here: Passik, Oliver, Orlock and Morituri".
Soon, the rest of Connie's cabinet starts to make their way out of her office. Admiral Orlock gave a concerned look to the Grand Admiral, then to the Surface Marshall. Tym Nightshade stands firmly by the wall, next to Morrigan and Lilith Aensland. Soon the last person left the room, and closed the door. Connie looks to her right and left. Then begins to rant "What the hell?! The god damned Cybermen made a U-Turn on us and took out our and our ally's flanking maneuvers?! Now were learning that the Cybermen are now starting to unwravel his shadow war against us to wither our strength down!? and impersonating our own men to lure them into a trap! How %#$%#$# low can they go! So this is what it has come to!" Connie then gets herself up from her chair "The Cybermen pulling trollish tactics and bringing in proxies to further wither us down to destroy us. In the name of "upgrading" humans to their way or face ultimate destruction!"
Oliver tries to give the good news "My Imperatoress, we have recaptured Mexico from the Cybermen..."
"But were still #%$#$#%#!" Connie retorts "If things go the Cybermen's way, we'll be seeing a two front war".
"My Imperatoress, things aren't all that bad. We still have a chance to push those barbarian Cybermen back into oblivion" said Oliver.
"The only thing that would push them back..." Connie then throws a fistfull of pencils and pens onto the desk "...is an atom bomb!! They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they will absolutely will not stop, ever, until we are dead! And everyone else!" Connie then slowly gets back into her chair "I cannot and will not see the nation that I built, with my own hands get destroyed and assimilated by some machine menace" then she leans back in her chair, then leans forward "If we fall, then the rest of humanity will fall to the unwilling roboticisation of the Cybermen! Including the Ponies and the Khajiits." Then silence fills the room as Connie sulks on the left arm rest of her chair "Ponies...." Connie continues to shake her head "...so this is what it's like to be in the shoes of someone that you want eradicated".
Admiral Orlock starts to put his hand over his stomach and looks at Connie with a concerned look. Surface Marshall Otis looks at the Secretary of Defense, then to the Grand Admiral.
"If were going to win this and pull through. Were going to have to reach out to the Ponies" Connie then looks at her cabinet "There's going to be a few policy changes happening to be more, pony friendly." Then Connie looks at Grand Admiral Passik "Prepare our newly created blue-water navy to keep a vigilant eye on the Coastal waters" then turns to Admiral Orlock "I want you personally to take the RNS Dunstad to Eagle's Landing and supervise the operation of the stronghold to house and defend the bastion of Humanity and the Nationalist Party ideals."
"It shall be done" Admiral Orlock responds with a salute before heading out the door.
Eagle's Landing, Undisclosed Location...
After a couple of weeks, the light cruiser RNS Dunstad sailed from Panama to Eagle's Landing, Located in ██████████. The cruiser docked inside one of the naval holding pens and the Admiral disembarked. Colonel Wickstrom greeted the Admiral with a salute "Welcome to Eagle's Landing, I hope everything is in order."
Admrial Orlock, decked out in a trench coat lined with fur, looked at the Colonel "That will soon come Colonel Wickstrom, but the Imperator is the ultimate decider. I was sent here on her behalf to see how this base is coming along". He then looks at the Colonel "I presume General Rom Mohc is in a middle of things?"
"Yes Admiral" The two continue on, with the Colonel filling in the Admrial with the details "As you can see, we're ahead of schedule in establishing living quarters." Wickstrom said as the two start to make their way to the main facility of Eagle's Landing "Already we've been getting people, escaping the terror the Cybermen have stured up. As you can see, we've become a stronghold for Nova Terria. Against the barbarian Cybermen".
"I presume that the surface structures are military infrastructure" said Orlock as he makes a side glance to the Colonel.
"Oh no, our Vault-Tec contractors have been busy like ants constructing a network of vaults underground. Complete with a fusion plant to power the entire facility." Replied Wickstrom "In fact, we've started to establish a small community within the vault complex. Even the citizens have taken to nickname Eagle's Landing to 'Vault City'".
The Admiral then gave a quick glancing smile at the Colonel "I'm sure the Imperator would be pleased with the developments." The two make their way to the outside. The Admiral soon notice gun emplacements dotting the facility "Good to see we have some infrastructure inplace for defense".
"To be honest Admiral" Wickstrom replied "we've mainly taken the idea from Empress Shi's idea of making an island fortress, down to a city state level. Making Eagle's Landing an impenetrable fortress and a safe holding house for our blue-water navy. As you can see when you docked the Dunstad"
"Good" the Admiral replied "Good".
"And we have the capability to house a shipyard as well" the Colonel said as the two continue to walk towards to the main administration building to continue down to the vault complex "One, New Orleans-Class Heavy Cruiser named the Solitude is set to be launch sometime within the month or so."
"Good to hear" Admiral Orlock said as he makes a nodding gesture "Too bad we aren't able to construct a Basil-Class Carrier. Certainly we need that ship right about now"
Wickstrom and Orlock aproach the vault door "Well, we don't. But our scientists and engineers are working hard on a superweapon to give us an edge against the Cybermen."
Admrial Orlock responded with enthusiasm "I'd be interested to see".
The Vault doors open up and the two men enter into the main facility. The Vault door closes behind them and the two proceed down into the Earth to the underground scientific and engineering research facility.
"Mein Gott!! These Cybermen have tricked our troops by..." Dr. Richtofen then pulls the decrypted message closer to his face "...turning into a glob to trick our troops!" Richtofen then slams the paper onto the table "Inconceivable!".
"I presume an IFF system would need to be refined and distributed to our troops and our allies" General Mohc said as he fingers through the papers of his pet project.
"That may be the only solution if these god damned Cybermen keep up with their tactics!" Dr. Richtofen said he crumples up the paper before throwing it into the trash. Then Richtofen looks at General Mohc "You don't suppose your 'Dark Trooper' project would work?"
General Mohc shoots Richtofen a ruse smile "What more can the Cybermen gain if they cannot acquire a body to roboticise with. They'd be left with nothing more than a destroyed hunk of metal. No human for them to forcefully upgrade to".
"Yes" Richtofen responds "Like the Cybermen needs more humans to fuel their Space Commie Machine. Prey tell how are we going to mass produce these things?"
Just then, Admrial Orlock and Colonel Wickstrom enter into the lab. "General Rom Mohc, Admiral Orlock has been sent to us by Imperator Connie Marshall to oversee the operations of the facility".
General Rom Mohc gets into attention "A pleasure, Admiral."
"Colonel Wickstrom told me that you have a potential superweapon in the blueprints" The Admiral inquisitively asks as he makes his way to the center of the lab.
"Well, I haven't been given full details of it" said Richtofen as he sits down. Then stares at a model of a Cybermen before punching it off the table "$#$#$ Cybermen!".
"You will know about it soon enough" Mohc said as he opens up his folder and places it on the table. Admiral Orlock rubs his chin as he moves in closer to study the plans "What I unveil today will mark a new era for Nationalist Nova Terra. We will be able to decimate the Cybermen. At last the Imperatoress's war will be filled only with the glory and beauty of decisive victory". Mohc then flips a page showcasing a phase three Dark Trooper "They are advanced battle droids that can be deployed along our troops. Equipped with jetpacks and powerful assault plasma cannons, they can overwhelm the enemy. Their armor is engineered to withstand anything the Cybermen can throw at it and can be applied to our T-51b, T45d, and Enclave Power Armors." Mohc looks at the Admiral "and need not worry, the software running the droids are overseen by a team of operators."
Admiral Orlock getures to Mohc "I see that you have a modified warship in your plans. Care to elaborate on that?"
"Of course" Mohc shuffles the papers around to show a modified warship to be both a factory ship as well as a warship "I've intended to have commission eather a New Orleans-Class or Baltimore-Class heavy cruiser to serve as Arc Hammer II, a seafaring production facility to construct and operate these Dark Troopers. It's akin to a factory ship like the Basil-Class Carrier. But not producing nukes. I've personally looked at avalable schematics of the Basil-Class Carrier as well as my own factory ship, the original Arc Hammer."
"And if the ship goes down?" The Admiral asks with a concerned tone
"I've engineered a redundancy program that if the Arc Hammer II is sunk, then the operators here at Eagle's Landing shall resume full control of the battle droids. No Keystone Army scenarios" Mohc explains.
"Let's not forget to install an advanced IFF unit and constantly keeping one step ahead of the Cybermen. To avoid their trickery" Dr. Richtofen states as Mohc wraps up his presentation.
"A good point. Though were going to have to engineer a way for them to not have them use it against us. Or were back to square one with the ambush situation in Florida" replied General Mohc.
"Good, I'm sure Imperatoress Marshall would be pleased with your work" said Admiral Orlock.
"I'm also sure she would be impressed with the office set up I have constructed for her" replied General Rom Mohc.
Those words echoed on the man's mind. "No!!!!", he shouted with all the strength he could muster. He could not bear the pain on his head. He could not bear that voice inside his mind shouting that name. "Who is Alexis!? Who is shouting!?", he asked with a trembling voice. He was confused. He was scared. He was alone on a large desert. He could not remember anything. Anything at all. Who was he? What was he doing in Iraq? Why was he placed in a Cybernetic Suit? The only things he could remember were that roar ('Alexis!!!') and some military strategies. He could bring to his mind detailed images of the Battle of Austerlitz and Rommel's North African campaign, and yet he could not remember who he was, what he was doing, who was he serving, who were his parents, what his nationality was.
He could see in front of him thousand of corpses. He was looking at them and inside his Cybernetic Suit, tears were falling from his eyes. Suddenly, he saw one after the other the dead getting up and looking at him, pointing at him with their finger. He could see dead children coming down from the skies and looking at him with a look that would surely drive anyone mad. Their eyes were red. Blood was dripping from their eyes. "You killed us!", they shouted. "You led the army in Iraq! You massacred us! Soviet! Soviet!". He closed his eyes. He was afraid. He was frightened. He was terrified. He screamed in terror.
When he opened once again his eyes, he saw that the children had disappeared and the dead were still lying on the ground. "Have I gone mad?!", he asked himself. "I have to go away! I have to leave this terrible place!". He could not remember anything of what the children were saying to him, but he could feel a terrible guilt. He felt that he had done something bad in the past. Now, he was feeling the need to help as many people as possible in order to ease his guilt. He walked away from the battlefield, as a changed man. As he could not remember his name, he decided to adopt a new one: 'Agathios', meaning 'virtuous man' in Greek.
The Basil has been sunk! The war is over! Peace in the Mediterranean!
With the turn of the new year, the USSR (now the United Socialist Surrender Republics) has unconditionally surrendered to the Allied Forces. A formal peace settlement is being negotiated between the Allies and the provisional government of the USSR.
Strangely enough, the fighting never reached Jerusalem. The Soviets decided that they could enact a starvation strategy against the Allies by blocking off their supply lines from the Mediterranean with the Basil and to do a sneak attack against undermanned bases in Iraq and Kuwait to cut off supply from the Caspian Sea, which would severely limit the amount of resources that the Allies could send to the already under-supplied city. The USSR decided to send their new secret weapon, Darth Revan, as the commander of the Soviet taskforce in the region.
Unfortunately for the Soviets, they did not expect that the Australians were performing a flanking manoeuvre. A division of 16 Australian Penal Legions slammed into 10 Soviet Jedi Corps while the Jedi were busy genociding a small town. Usually the Soviet army is much more organized than they were, however in their fervour of purging the town they didnt notice the Australian forces setting up an ambush. Australian artillery started bombarding the town, causing chaos amongst the Soviet ranks. Darth Revan quickly reorganized his men and led a charge against the Australians, however after a lucky artillery shot hit his position he disappeared. With the loss of their prized general, the Soviets called a general retreat.
By sheer coincidence, they chose to retreat to a testing ground for a genetically altered Parasprites. Parasprites are a pest commonly found in Italy that was destroying the agriculture in the region before Pony scientists found a way to control the creatures. These magically and genetically altered Parasprites were created to consume the provisions of the Soviet forces, which completely destroyed the ability of the Soviet forces to fight. They promptly surrendered after this humiliating defeat.
Despite these major losses, the Soviet army was still holding strong. The Basil was still impenetrable, even in its damaged state it could withstand an attack by 15 Khajiit air-wings. Thanks to the experience of the Khajiit Air Force at dealing with the Basils unusual weapons systems, they hardly took any damage either. This led to a stalemate that the Basil would ultimately win, as the Khajiit ran out of fuel for their planes. But then the tide was turned, quite literally, with the Khajiit being assisted from an unexpected source the Goomish Navy.
The Church of Goomy, sensing blood in the water, decided to send a raiding party to plunder their damaged economy. Initially Goomish commanders hoped to avoid the Basil, however an unexpected storm sent their navy headfirst into the ship. Coordinating with their Khajiit co-belligerents, the water type Pokémon performed a devastating strike against the Basil. Taking the opportunity of the chaos caused by the unexpected Goomish intervention, Allied sleeper agents on board the Basil wrest control of ships nuclear launch capacity and aimed a nuclear missile at the Basil itself. This proved too much for the ship to take, causing it to break into hundreds of pieces and sink to the bottom of the ocean. A rescue operation launched by the Khajiit saved many of the sailors from drowning, including the central leadership of the Soviets with the exception for Mathamalus and Darth Revan, with the latters location being unknown and the others mere existence being a classified Soviet military secret that not even the Allied leadership knows of.
With all major Soviet leaders accounted for and with the destruction of the Basil, the Soviet war machine imploded. The middle management of the Union, realising their time was up, elected Sir Ender as their new leader. His first act was to immediately and unconditionally surrender to the Allied Forces, ending the war.
Although this war is over, the continuing repercussions of it will be felt world over. The future of the decimated Eurasian empire will be decided in a peace conference held in Jerusalem and it is likely that Jerusalem will demand full annexation. While the nation celebrates their absolute victory, they also give thought to all they have lost. The homes destroyed, the cities burned and loved ones lost. While nation embraces this loss, they also drink from the sweet nectar of victory and they thank their lord for protecting them from utter annihilation.
For the allies further abroad, the consequences of the war are less direct but still hit close to the bone. The Elsweyr Sultanate, shortly after the victory in Jerusalem, experienced a military coup by anti-technological elements within their government displeased with the Royal Familys recent conduct, including their actions during the war and their pro-technological stance. Much of the population seems to support this coup, with gangs of roving Khajiit destroying infrastructure deemed evil by the new regime and harassing supporters of the royal family. The royal family has not been seen since the coup, but they are believed to be in hiding.
The situation is nearly the exact opposite in Abbotsford, with Dark Lord Abbott cracking down on supposed communist sympathisers that were supposedly sabotaging the war effort by demanding an end to the war on the other side of the Earth. Almost all of them were long-time critics of Abbotts regime, they were prosecuted with extremely tenuous evidence and charged with sedition. These efforts have backfired, energizing anti-government groups and encouraging them to become more militant. The anti-government groups may have just been upgraded from a minor nuisance to a serious threat.
The war weariness has not touched the Americans as much as it has the other allies. While the Mysterians are annoyed at Stan Pines recent involvement in foreign wars, such as their contributions to the Alliance and their recent intervention in the Cyberwar, they realise that the Cybermen are a serious threat to their safety. This has calmed the anti-war movements, but they are still unhappy about it. And Nova Terra are far too busy with their war against the Cybermen to worry about whats going on in the Mediterranean.
Regardless on ones opinion on the conclusion of the Basil Class Crisis, none can deny that with the end of this war an era has ended as well. Who knows what this new, Basil-less world will bring.
-United Soviet Surrendering Republics is now an NPC!
-Casualties: Soviets: EVERYTHING, Goomy: 4, Elsweyr: 3, Abbot: NONE
-Economy Transfer: There wasnt much of this as most of the fighting was at sea. The Church of Goomy plundered 4 ECO for $4 though.
North and South America Dragged into the Great Cyberwar!
The unusual tactics employed by United Manchinians have confounded Nova Terran generals yet again, but perhaps not in the way that the Manchinians would like. Nova Terra coordinated their forces in South Mexico and in the United States, both formal military and partisan groups, to cut off supply for the Mexcian Cybermen and establish a connection to their territories in the United States. The Mystery Nation also assisted in this endeavour by secretly sending a small force of soldiers disguised as 1918 German Stormtroopers to assist their Nova Terran allies.
Unexpectedly, the entirety of Mexico was deserted by the Cybermen. Leaving behind obviously-fake cardboard cut-outs as defences, it was as if they wanted to taunt the Nova Terran military. Meanwhile, in North America, the small contingent of Nova Terran and Mysterious Forces were overwhelmed by the full might of the Cybermen. And, unfortunately for the Mystery Nation, the United Manchinians saw through their ruse almost immediately, making the situation on the Canadian-US border extremely tense.
To add insult to injury, the United Manchinians have begun to use new robots that are totally like the T-1000 series from Terminator use advanced cosplaying techniques and intra-pico phasing nanites to disguise themselves as the leaders of Nova Terra itself! They ordered the scattered North American Nova Terran army and resistance groups into ambushes and, for those that were extremely unlucky, into Cybermen Upgrade Stations and United Manchinian Drug Experiment Camps.
This latest series of exchanges, although it does not seem like it, may be a pyrrhic victory for the United Manchinians. The Nova Terrans guerrilla warfare tactics have been proven to be far superior to the Cyberlegions human superior-lifeform wave tactics, the main victories for the United Manchinians were engagements where they vastly outnumbered the Nova Terrans or where there was traditional Manchinian treachery involved. Even then, they have taken more casualties than they can truly afford. Although reinforcements expected to arrive from the Lantean Cybermen very soon, the United Manchinians cant expect to take these crushing losses for much longer.
Perhaps salvation for the United Manchinian cause will come in the form of the Drug Syndicates and their mysterious benefactors. The South American Drug Syndicates that are plaguing the Nova Terrans so much have managed to evade their police and counter-espionage forces at every turn. Whoever is sponsoring them have certainly got enormous influence in Nova Terra, that is the only way they could have pulled this off. To make matters worse, the Syndicate have managed to organize a military coup in the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and Greater Falkland (a.k.a Argentina) which was anarchy ever since the disappearance of Queen Elizabeth II the Immortal. The newly formed state has declared war on Nova Terra, citing a desire to expand their drug operations further. However, it is painfully obvious that something more is going on here, someone is pulling the strings of these drug barons.
Meanwhile in space, the war has grinded to a standstill. While the Nova Terrans dominate the stars, with the combined Nova Terran fleet forcing the Cyberfleet into a retreat, they are hopelessly outclassed on land. It would be unlikely that they could bombard the Cybermen into oblivion either thanks to the powerful force fields that they have erected. In this ever shifting battlefield, both in space and on Earth, anything could happen.
-Casualties: United Manchinia: 9, Nova Terra: 4, Mystery Nation: 1
-Economy Transfer: Nova Terra: +1 ECO, United Manchinia: -1 ECO.
The Sun Sets on an Empire as Shi is Defeated!
Luckily for the Vietnamese, the GM lol Empress Shi does not appear to know geography, aiming her missiles at two completely abandoned locations. Vietnamese propaganda lampooned her for this, this propaganda was distributed throughout the United States of Vietnam and the rest of the world. It was also literally launched into Korea via artillery. This incensed Empress Shi in ways that mere words cannot describe.
In addition to the embarrassing propaganda, the payloads aimed at Korea also contained fake plans for the Vietnamese invasion of Korea. The Vietnamese generals were hoping that Empress Shi would be so enraged that she would take these plans for fact and then fall for a series of cleverly placed traps in the Korean-Chinese border. However, Empress Shi had brainwashed moles within the Vietnamese military that fed her information about Vietnams REAL plans, mainly their attack plans for a surprise attack on Inchon.
The Vietnamese surprise attack on Inchon was not a surprise at all, Empress Shi had prepared for their attack and had laid a simple yet effective trap. She led the defence of Inchon herself, causing the assaulting Marines to fall under her legendary psychic influence at close range. If it were not for the brave actions of the lone Marine who somehow resisted her psychic assault and shot her, the Marines would have been forced to partake in a horrifying cannibalistic orgy.
With the death of Empress Shi, the Empire of the Rising Sun is no more. The mind controlled Japanese and Koreans have formed a provisional government and have surrendered to the Vietnamese government. While the Japanese are humble enough to unconditionally surrender, the Koreans were a bit bolder, they demanded that they be given a small amount of independence in the form of being annexed into F.E.A.R. However, the future of both the Japanese and Koreans is not certain. Although these two ethnic groups have literally thrown themselves at Vietnams feet, the Butchers of Hanoi arent exactly known for their kindness to Asians who speak back
-Casualties: United States of Vietnam: 4, Empire of the Rising Sun: 7
-Economy Transfer: United States of Vietnam: +1 ECO, Empire of the Rising Sun: -1 ECO
South Africa is Annexed by the Highwaymen!
The Highwaymen, a newly formed confederation of American-expat criminals and various Central African polities, have seized the entirety of South Africa in one fell swoop. The former South African regime had tried to placate the large amount of tribal warlords by giving them lots of autonomy, even allowing them to organize their own armies. However, these armies were paid for by the state via an antiquated railroad network. As the Highwaymen were specialists in train robbery, taking the pay of these soldiers was an easy feat. By controlling the supply of money to the South African tribal armies, they gained their loyalty. By using their own armies against them, they marched into Pretoria and seized control of the country. Still, the Highwaymen faced an epic battle between their armies and the armies that remained loyal to the old regime, many a highwayman fired their last shot during the battle.
Although taking over South Africa has made the Highwaymen rich, the sheer volatility and instability in the region could hurt them in the long run. Already tribes that are opposed to their new overlords are raising armies to drive the Highwaymen out. Will the Highwaymen be able to hold onto the jewel of their new empire? Or will they be driven out like many South African rulers before them?
-Casualties: Highwaymen: 8, South Africa: EVERYTHING!
-Economy Transfer: Half of South Africas ECO was destroyed during the fighting, the rest of it is now under the control of the Highwaymen.
-Highwaymen suffer a 50% stability hit from nationalist sentiment in South Africa
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GM Notes: Sorry that took so long! The main update shouldnt take as long to compile, hopefully Ill get it done shortly after I submit my last assignment. One thing I didnt cover in the update was the unusual actions of E.V.I.L, but since that really cant be classed as a war and more of an exercise in wat, that will come in the main update. Also, I will be unveiling an upgraded combat system next update! Get excited!
OOC: Great update. By the way, part 2 of my new nation's prologue RP.
IC:
- Agathios (formerly Darth Revan)
Agathios indeed fled Iraq. He marched north, passing through barren deserts and villages burned to the ground. Corpses were littered everywhere. The smell of the dead was horrible. Dogs and birds were feasting on their flesh. Agathios walked towards Caucasus. His journey took many days of nonstop marching under a burning sun despite the hotness and the lack of water. When he reached Caucasus, he found an area devastated. Ruthless Warlords were murdering, robbing, raping and tyrannizing the local people. Agathios witnessed this first hand when he saw two soldiers kicking to death a young woman. He could not stand by and let the murderers go. He switched on his lightsaber and somersaulted at the two men. With two moves he beheaded the first one and cut horizontally the second. The rest of the Warlords' soldiers, witnessing this, fled. The few villagers still alive in that location asked Agathios to become their Chief and lead them against the Warlords.
Agathios did not want political power. He tried to refuse the request, but all of the villagers begged him and he could not refuse the responsibility of stopping the bloodthirsty Warlords. His first act was to call the Chiefs of other villages nearby to ally with him. Only a few came. The rest were too afraid of the Warlords' fury upon learning of an alliance being created against them. Agathios managed to persuade all other Chiefs to crown him King and behest him with absolute powers. Now, as King of all free villages of Caucasus, Agathios gathered all able bodied men and trained them the best he could. The women, children and old men were sent to either gather food for the supplies or make weapons.
The Warlords eventually came. A huge army attacked the village of Agathios, only to find out that all villagers were barricaded in their houses and ready to fight a Stalingrad like urban battle. The Warlords' men had to clear every house and every room. Although they had better weapons than the villagers and were better trained, their primitive tactics and the villagers' iron will defeated them. With the crushing of the Warlords' army at Agathios' village, almost all Chiefs of the Caucasian villages accepted Agathios as their King. Agathios gathered the combined forces of all Caucasian villages and crushed the Warlords at a second epic confrontation. The remaining Warlords surrendered. Agathios was the supreme lord of Caucasus.
Having defeated the Warlords, he tried to retire from his post but the other Chiefs begged him to remain as their leader. They said that if he left, there would be no central government and civil war would begin again as he was the only one who was respected enough to be accepted as the supreme leader. All others would fail to unite the nation. So, Agathios became King of Caucasus.
Carrier Group Beta in an undisclosed location off the coast of Argentina
"You have got to be $#$#$@#@ kidding me!!" Imperatrix Connie Marshall said as she slams her fist on her desk at the news of the situation from her southern neighbors declaring war upon Nova Terra "Now were in a $#$#$# two front war!?!"
Tym glances at the name of the newly formed nation "The Drug Syndicates, what a bunch of upstarts" then scoffs at the name.
'They're another thorn to my side!" Connie rages on "They're only existence is to undermine us in defeating the Cybermen. forcing us to divide our troops even further just to keep them at bay". Then Connie slouches in her chair "I suspect whoever planted these drug lords in our lands is being done by the UKIP, just to smite us and take advantage of our situation!".
"These druggies" Tym continues on "Have been very elusive to our police, inteligence forces, secret police, and the inquisition. They've made a fatal mistake by driving a coup in Argentina and revealing their faces to the inquisition" Tym then cracks his knuckles "I'm sure whoever the ring leader of the South American Drug Syndicates will have a good old time in the inquisition chambers, once we get a hold of them".
Connie glances at Tym "And not to mention there secret 'benefactor'" then glances back at the reports "I still have an honest hunch that the UKIP or whoever the hell it is, is waging a proxy war against us. Whoever is behind it, will get stomped under by my own bare feet..." then turns to Tym "Of coruse, after you're done with him in the inquisition chambers".
"Naturally" Tym responds
"For now" Connie puts down the reports and pulls out a map of South America and points off the coast of the now South American Drug Syndicate holdouts "Admiral Piett will be conducting strike missions against these potheads while we round up the troops".
"Given the situation, more and more people are starting to enlist into our armed forces after they've learned of the treacheries of both these potheads and cybermen" Surface Marshall Oliver stated "I seriously doubt that we would be instituting a draft at this time."
Connie then exclaims "I want to make it clear, that this is not a war on drugs. It's a war on our survival and a right to our sovereignty. Something that is being threatened to be taken away from us. No one will take that from us, not the Space Robot Commies nor the Potheads of the Jungle". Connie then looks at the previous reports "Were also going to have to organize a way to blockade the entire planet so that none of these Cybermen bastards get anymore reinforcements from the Lantean Cybermen".
"I'm already working on it, with the First Space Fleet already here, we can immediately organize a blockade around the planet." Grand Admiral Otis stated as he gestures at the globe, pinpointing the points where the ships may congregate at.
"I shall get to training some of our inquisitors to sense any of these Cybermen that have been impersonating any of us, to detect them" Tym stated confidently.
Surface Marshall Oliver turns Tym, asking him "What for? You can't expect to raise a legion of inquisitors to face off against a horde of Cybermen and drug addicts!?".
"If I were to go into detail" Tym gives a side glance, angerly, at the audience "then Polyblank and his allies would find a way to undermine me and one-up my plans that I have plotted out to counter his treachery". Tym glares even more "I'm looking at you, Polyblank!". He then turns back to Surface Marshall Oliver "It's best that the result of my details speak for themselves, once it has happened." Tym makes his way to the door "In the mean time, aside from putting my own plans into motion, I've got some buffing up to do with our National Intelligence Agency".
"I hope whatever he has plan would help us" said Surface Marshall Otis
"Right now, we need anything to give us an edge now" Connie said as she grabs a cup of tea "Right now, were going to have to reach out to other nations that are friendly to us that would help us".
"Including reaching out to the Ponies?" Lilith asked as she prepares her documentations of the situation at the homefront.
"Even the Ponies" Connie said as she, tries to get herself relaxed.
If you were to give us control of Panama and the Panama Canal then we would be willing to discuss peace! Wouldn't that be great! We'd also be willing to give you even more drugs at CRAZY discount prices! We've got this new drug called "Peacenik" which will make your soldiers peaceful and able to snap back to civilian life in a snap!
To: United Machinia
From: S.A.D.S
We would like to offer you a formal alliance now that we have declared statehood! Our clients think you're really, really cool and that we should work together!
To: The World
From: S.A.D.S
With the ports of Argentina under our control, we would like to announce that we are now able to ship our drugs around the whole world! We've got everything from standard Amphetamines to the exotic Z-69 Enhancers, if you ask for it we've probably got it! Our prices are real cheap as well! Remember, once you've had drugs from S.A.D.S, you can't stop! Once Jim from accounting tried our cocaine, he went from a zero to an absolute hero! We take our drugs daily, so we know it is damned good! Whether it's for yourself, your family or your whole nation, there's nothing as fun as S.A.D.S Drugs!
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