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IdIOT: Shock and Terror

Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by NinjaCow64, Dec 28, 2014.

  1. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010

    Preamble? Preshamble!

    Spoiler :
    >be a scientist in year 3000
    >be working on ‘merican superweapon
    >accidentally a weapon that causes all the nations in the world to suddenly collapse and to be replaced by weird nations inhabited by humans and non-humans
    >spaghetti oozes out of my pockets
    >then the prince of bel-air came in
    >he opened the door
    >got on the floor
    >everybody did the dinosaur
    >and then a skeleton popped out

    Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dys8KUnwGGg

    Have you ever wanted to play as a nation, but you have thought “Nah, that would be too silly and stupid for this game?” Have you ever felt like being a nation from some random silly fictional show, but knew that everyone would look at you and the GM would say “ha-ha-ha-no”. Have you ever felt like acting completely bat**** insane in a game, but didn’t want to ruin the srsbuiness game for other people? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! This is your chance for you to make a super silly nation, your chance to let your creative juices have their freedom, your chance to emancipate all of the silly, foolish or just plain stupid ideas you have had from your head and allow them their freedom. And everyone likes freedom, right?

    Applications and Joining: Restrictions on your Freedom

    Spoiler :
    Wait! Wait! Before you grab your guns and run off to your OsamaCare-Proof Freedom Bunkers™, your freedoms aren’t going to get restricted THAT much. And they’re only being restricted to stop CommuNazi Terrorists, so it’s all fine.

    Joining the IOT is pretty simple. At the most basic level, I need a name, a quick description of your government and 20 claims on the map. More RP will be highly appreciated though (like history), as that is what will make this IOT funny and interesting. Note that things like tech levels, population and what exactly your nation is inhabited by are not currently tracked so it can be completely determined by you, the player. Powergaming will result in me either ignoring things or, for blatant cases, Dr Hax summoning a hurricane of computers to ruin your nation, so consider well.


    Spoiler :

    i warned u

    Statistics: Details of the fifty PSQL databases that NinjaCow64 will drive you insane with

    Spoiler :
    I’m just joking, the amount of stats in this game is not anywhere near as complex as even something like an early SonIOT. It’s mainly RP focused, I just have a few stats because I don’t trust myself to just wing it.

    There are five stats at the beginning of the game. There might be extra stats that I might add if RP it up enough (ala Slavery from MPIV), but you don’t have to worry about that at the moment. The five stats are Money, Economy, Military, Political and Stability. Everybody starts off with 20 of Economy, Military and Political and with 80% Stability, although this could change from first turn random events/the quality of your signup.

    Money ($) is the amount of money you have. You use it to buy things. Pretty simple.

    The Economy Stat is the amount of money you make per turn. It is an abstract representation of the amount of money your nation makes. Think of them like factories from early SonIOTs. Each point in the Economy Stat produces $1 per turn and it costs $5 to increase it by one point.

    The Military Stat is an abstract representation of your military strength. You use them to fight your wars for you. They also cost $5 to increase it by one point (see the pattern?). The military stat will be further discussed in another section.

    The Political Stat is the state capacity for espionage, both against dissident groups in the country and against other countries. Political points can be used for espionage against other nations by investing points into other nations or used for espionage defence for you and your puppets. Espionage will be discussed in a separate section as well. Also, you can use the Political Stat to increase Stability by 1% per point you get. It costs $5 to increase your Political Stat by one point (surprise, surprise). The Political Stat is subject to the most random variations to discourage people from guessing who is doing what espionage action.

    Stability is measured by a percentage. The lower it is the more the populace wants your head on a pike. When Stability gets low Bad Things™ start happening so keep that Stability high!

    War, Espionage and You: Nobody ever goes to war in an IOT so you can just skip this part no problem

    Spoiler :
    The Military Stat is an incredibly abstract representation of your military. This includes the army, navy and whatever other branches you may or may not have. Each point is equivalent to a unit in a normal IOT. As each nation is going to have variable technology rates and military organization, each point will represent something vastly different for each nation. One military point could represent a giant mech or one million peasants armed with sharped spoons, they would have an equal chance of beating each other.

    War orders are simple. Just say how many points of the Military Stat you are placing to attack/defend a certain region. All points that aren't assigned by the player are put on generic defence mode. Be warned, if you get attacked in multiple fronts generic defence mode will end badly. You can send more complicated war plans if you like and you’ll probably get a bonus for them. However, as RP is basically masturbation if nobody but the GM and the player reads it, all war plans will be divulged after a few turns.

    The combat system is based off of Sone’s Standard Combat System of old. The number of points participating on each side of the battle have the bonuses multiplied or added onto them. These two new numbers are then added together, they each come up with a percentage. For example, if two armies worth 100 Military Points go up against each other they each have a 50% chance of winning. If one army only has 10 Military Points and the other has 90 then the first army has a 10% of winning and the other has a 90% chance of winning. A RNG is used to then determine the winner of the battle, larger rolls on the RNG will mean more provinces are taken. The victor kills 25-50% of the enemy's numbers, whereas the loser kills 1-50% of the enemy's numbers.

    As of turn seven, I replaced this system with a more complicated one. It really doesn't make a difference to the player though, just know that larger armies will win against smaller ones and that equal or near-equal size armies are anyone's game.

    Espionage will work a similar way to battles, except instead of Military Points being put through the Standard Combat System it will be Political Points invested in whatever nation. Enemy spies will fight each other when they are in the same nation. Winning a “battle” of spies will result in your schemes being successful and your enemies’ spies being driven out. Losing means that your plot will fail, depending on the degree of failure they might even find out compromising information about your plot!

    Roleplay: The kind of Funposting that will make Ninja giggle

    Spoiler :
    This is, if you haven’t guessed already, primarily a comedy IOT. And this game will be about as funny as bowel cancer if the player’s don’t spend time doing Roleplay to MAKE it funny.

    Doing RP will give you hilariously unbalanced and biased bonuses. Although I will reward players for doing RP even if I don’t find it funny, if I DO find it funny the bonuses will be bigger. I find a lot of things funny, although I am prone to dadist funposting I do find subtle satire and other kinds of “gentile” humour. Just try your best everyone!


    Spoiler :
    -[insert standard “don’t be a bad sport” rules here]
    -You can claim five provinces per turn
    -Each turn is a year in game
    -I’ll try and update once a week, or possibly faster
    -Genocides have a 60% chance of success per province. Genocides will also do wonders for you national stability and your international reputation.
    -This game is also known as Vichy Neverending Spreadsheet: Mosher’s Glorious Anschluss
    -NPCs might pop up out of successful revolts, the inevitability of player inactivity and if I feel bored and want some more nations on the map. NPCs usually are easily intimated into becoming political and economic vassals. Be warned however, some nations have leaders that make the leadership of North Korea look positively sane.
    -Sucking up to the GM will almost always end well.
    -Saber is love, Saber is life.
    -If in doubt, pray to Ravus and the rest of the IOT Parthenon.
    -The most important thing is to have fun.

  2. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010

    Spoiler “Main Map” :

    Spoiler “Regional Map” :

    -Accurate as of Turn Eleven (3011 A.D)
  3. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010
  4. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010
    Hall of le Epic Funposts


    UKIP-Pirate Condomium - Civ'ed

    Empire of the Rising Sun - Reus

    The Most Holy and Everlasting Fair Dinkum Free State of Democratic Abbotsford, Inc. - Thorvarld of Lym

    Stargate Command/Zeus Systems - Polyblank

    企業提携 - MartinLuther

    Union of Soviet Socialist Republics - chirstos200

    The Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem - Terran Emperor

    The Church of Goomy - Kinich-Ahau

    Premier Grand and Most Utterly Serene Republic of all the United Byelorussian Peoples and the Peoples Under Byelorussian Rule - Bair_the_Normal

    The United Norse Empire AKA the Fylkirate - Aliedhoo

    Psych Nation - GreekAnalyzer

    United States of Vietnam - Omega124

    California Reich - Red_Spy

    Nationalist Nova Terra - CivGeneral

    New Earth Colony - JuanToo3

    Second Chola Empire - SouthernKing

    The Mystery Country - e350tb

    Elsweyr Sultanate - KaiserElectric

    The Secular Unified Popular Democratic Socialist Glorious Republic of East Timor and Associated Territories - west india man

    United Myconid Cultures (Turn Zero) - Argos498

    Turn Zero (3000 A.D):

    Stargate Science Division Report (a.k.a Dr Polyblank teaches us about planets) - Polyblank

    Hitler Connie Discovers Ponies - CivGeneral

    Vikings Prepare for a Raid - Aliedhoo

    Government Sells a Zipline - GreekAnalyzer

    The USSR starves looks after it's citizens - chirstos200

    NIPPON ANIME-DESU NEWS - Happy Times in Korea and Taiwan - DarthReus

    The Shekels of Dovid Part One - Polyblank

    Nigel Farage runs out of Rum - Civ'ed

    The Shekels of Dovid Part Two - Polyblank

    Minutes of Cabinet Meeting - No Hot Air Balloons Ever Again - e350tb

    Tavish DeGroot...NO I'M NOT THE BLEEDING DEMOMON! - Civ'ed
  5. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010
  6. Civ'ed

    Civ'ed I ain't gotta explain a thing

    Oct 7, 2010
    Aberdonia et Banffia
    Spoiler :

    Name = UKIP-Pirate Condomium
    Government - A country made of strong independant Pirates who don't need no continentals in their nation
  7. Reus

    Reus Polar Bear

    Nov 17, 2013
    Devon Island

    Link to video.


    Nickname: Japan
    Capital: Kyoto
    Government: Absolute Monarchy
    Leader: Empress Shi (Yuriko Matsui)
    Japan was previously a burgeoning nation, an absolute monarchy in which all power and every decision in the country is decided by the ruling monarch. Recently, an unknown female, whom possess unnatural psychic abilities absorbed the entire nation into her control. The Emperor is overthrown as she declares herself Empress of Japan while every single sentient being in Japan is usurped under her control through the means of advanced mind-control. No news ever came out of the land afterwards, and any attempt of contact has been met with fierce reply. Rumors from refugees that somehow fled the empire said Japan is now basically unrecognizable hell where human beings are used as resources, massive industries and machinery fed by mindless slaves work restlessly, turning Japan into a wasteland; merely to serve the Empress's goals. What goals ? Nobody knows.

    Spoiler Claims :
  8. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

    Nov 21, 2005
    A Palace north of Oslo
    Because if at first you don't succeed, try management:

    Most Holy and Everlasting Fair Dinkum Free State of Democratic Abbotsford, Inc.


    Anthem: "War on Terror"
    Motto: Go to hell, wanka.

    Government: Single-party totalitarian plutocracy

    Prime Minister: The Dark Lord Himself
    Treasurer: Clive Palmer
    Minister for Infrastructure and Transport: George Pullman
    Minister for Defence: Grand Moff Tarkin
    Minister for Foreign Affairs: Dan Quayle
    Minister for Families, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs: Leopold II
    Minister for Immigration, Multicultural Affairs and Citizenship: Josef Goebbels
    Minister for the Arts: Clint Eastwood
    Minister for Education: Denzel Q. Crocker
    Minister for Workplace Relations: C. Montgomery Burns
    Minister for Climate Change: Poison Ivy
    Minister for Public Relations: Comic Book Guy
    Minister for Tourism: Cecil Rhodes
    Minister for the Status of Women: Josef Goebbels (again)
    Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry: e350tb's Dad
    Minister for Resources and Energy: J Robert Oppenheimer
    Minister for Health and Medical Research: Dr. Nick Riviera
    Minister for Trade: Hernan Cortez
    Minister for Innovation, Industry, Science and Research: Ned Ludd
    Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy: Homer J Simpson
    Attorney-General: Lionel Hutz

    Currency: Beer
    State Religion: Boganism
    Spoiler :
    IN A.D. 2013

    This is the result.
  9. Polyblank

    Polyblank Chieftain

    Mar 9, 2014

    Capital: Cheyenne Mountains Bunker
    De - Jure Capital: Sacramento
    CEO: John Smith
    General: Henry Landry
    Commander of the Air and Space Forces: George Hammond
    Head of Scientific Division: Dr. Samantha Carter
    Second-in-Command of Scientific Division: Dr. Rodney McKay
    SG - 1 Head: Sergeant Jack O' Neil
    SG - 2 Head: Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell
    Head of Alien Relationships: Vala Mal Doran
    Head of Human Relationships and Philosophy: Dr. Daniel Jackson
    Head of Intergalactic Bureaucracy: Richard Woolsey
    Hand - to - Hand Combat Trainer: Master Bra'tac
    Emissary from Chulak: Teal'c

    History: Once the N - dimension was altered and mixed with other dimensions after Dr. Bill Lee, ex - head of the scientific division, messed his hand with an ultrasonic quantum dimensional jumper left over by the Ancients, the builders of the stargate, SGC took control of the USA using alien technologies disguised as human. The organisation remains secret, so they rule through their hand, which is the security company " Zeus Systems ". The leader of Zeus Systems itself is a strange person who, even though has passed all human and alien tests and machines, has a strange obsession over time and public police boxes from Britain. All biological autopsies indicate that Mr. John Smith is indeed human. Currently, military and scientific personnell from Alpha and Beta sites have been joining in the reconstruction effort of Earth.

  10. SouthernKing

    SouthernKing crickety cricket

    Dec 29, 2010
    Deva Loka
    Claiming Borneo, Sumatra, Java, and Sulawesi. I believe that's 20, more coming later
  11. GreekAnalyzer

    GreekAnalyzer Back from the Dead

    May 9, 2013
    Claiming central asia.
  12. MartinLuther

    MartinLuther DOOMSTARKS WHEN?!?!

    Jun 5, 2009
    Arkham Asylum
    So is this the spiritual successor to Insanity Reigns?

    Also, claiming Eastern US.
  13. MartinLuther

    MartinLuther DOOMSTARKS WHEN?!?!

    Jun 5, 2009
    Arkham Asylum

    Translation: Corporate Alliane


    Spoiler :

    We don't believe in flags, we instead use large replicas of this bust. Also, if someone is going to make Polandballs in this IOT, Just use the bust to represent my country.



    National Anthem:

    Link to video.

    Quick Description: Vaporwave Nation


    In the 1990's, a small tech company named 企業提携 sold some of the most advanced home computers on the market. People knew very little about the company; any journalists or government inspectors that tried to get information on the company mysteriously vanished. The company made a decent amount of money over the decade, but come the year 2000 they stopped making products. People assumed they just went out of business and continued on with their lives. But now it is the year 3000, the company came out of the blue and started buying a lot of big businesses. Most of these businesses were Private Military Companies and Security Companies. They bought so many PMCs, that they had an army bigger than the USA's. 企業提携 knew this fact and decided to invade Washington DC and overthrow the government, which they were successful at. A broadcast came over on all American Televisions stating that they were free from the tyranny of the US Government. Any and all power is owned by 企業提携. Any and all companies within the borders now have to report to 企業提携's center corporate bureaucracy.

    The Four Pillars of 企業提携:

    1. Aesthetics
    2. Philosophy
    3. Individual Interests
    4. Crystal Pepsi

    The Big Companies owned by 企業提携:

    • Freedom Corp. (PMC, owns most of the military)
    • Bigg Brothers Security (Owns police men and most of the security cameras set up by 企業提携)
    • Merchant Inc. (Makes the currency and owns all of the banks.)
    • Beer on the Rug (Makes most of 企業提携's Vaporwave, the only music you are legally allowed to listen to within 企業提携's borders.)
  14. christos200

    christos200 Never tell me the odds

    Jan 9, 2011
    EU, Greece, Athens
    Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR)

    Capital: Samaragrant (formerly Constantinople)
    Government: Dictatorship of the Proletariat AKA One Party State
    Party: Communist Party of Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (CPUSSR)
    Premier (AKA First Worker AKA Grand Marshal AKA Comrade): Antonis Samaras

    Economy Year Zero Communist

    All cities have been evacuated from civilian population, except for Samaragrant which is the HQ of the CPUSSR, and they have been burned to the ground. All types of currency have been outlawed. Anyone carrying currency is executed. All types of trade are banned. If someone trades, even a potato for a tomato, he is executed. The entire population work as farmers but all of their products go to the state and feed the Party and the Army while the rest of the population is given a minimum amount of food in order to survive. Books are banned. Education is banned. Hospitals are banned. Laughing is banned.


    Spoiler :
    Thorvald of Lym likes this.
  15. KaiserElectric

    KaiserElectric Total Freakin Besties

    Dec 2, 2007
    Subpost for the lolz
  16. Terran Empress

    Terran Empress Hornet

    Mar 30, 2011
    Hallow Nest
    The Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem​

    Nickname: The Pony Principality of Jerusalem, united with the Papal Kingdom of Italy
    Capitals: Jerusalem, Rome

    Link to video.
    Government: Absolute Theocratic Monarchy

    Head of State: Princess Starshine Thunder of Jerusalem
    Head of Government Jerusalem: Grand Master Cloud Chaser
    Head of Government Italy: His Holiness and King of Italy, Pope Celestine VI
    Head of the Ministry of Arcane Science: Ministry Mare Twilight Sparkle
    Head of the Ministry of Image: Ministry Mare Rarity
    Head of the Ministry of Morale: Ministry Mare Pinkie Pie
    Head of the Ministry of Technology Ministry Mare Applejack
    Head of the Ministry of Peace: Ministry Mare Fluttershy
    Head of the Ministry of Awesome: Ministry Mare Rainbow Dash
    Minister of Human - Pony Relations: Lyra heartstrings
    Minister of Candy Productions: Bon Bon
    Minister of Wubs: Vinyl Scratch
    Minister of Music: Octavia
    Minister of Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey...Stuff: The Doctor
    Minister of Derps: Derpy Hooves
    Minister of Brushy Brushy: Colgate
    Minister of Drinks: Berry Punch
    Head of Jerusalem U Anthropology Department: Also Lyra Heartstrings
    Minister of Dentistry: Colgate again
    Council of Shipping: Lyra and Bon Bon and Vinyl Scratch and Octavia
    Cutie Mark Crusaders: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle

  17. Kinich-Ahau

    Kinich-Ahau #JustGoomyThings

    Jul 3, 2010
    The Church
    The Church of Goomy​

    Capital: New Lumiose (Paris)
    Government: Theocracy
    Leader: Champion Zeru Fitzpèire
    Language: French
    Social Policy: Theocratic
    Fiscal Policy: Interventionist
    Trade Policy: Mildly Protectionist
    Monetary Policy: Monetarism
    Currency: Pokèdollar
    Foriegn Policy: Pragmatic
    Religion: Church of Goomy
    Champion's Team:
    Spoiler :
    • God (Goomy, genderless)
      • Lv. 200
      • Divine Nature (+++++all)
      • 62/62/62/62/62/62
      • Wonder Guard/Protean/Speed Boost
      • Goomyite/Power Herb/Pixie Plate
      • Shiny
      • Moves:
        • Geomancy
        • Judgment
        • Roar of Time
        • Psycho Boost
        • Dragon Ascent
        • Precipice Blades
    • Mary (Goodra, F)
      • Lv. 100
      • Modest Nature (+Sp.Att, - Att)
      • 31/0/31/31/31/31
      • Sap Sipper
      • Assault Vest
      • Moves:
        • Draco Meteor
        • Fire Blast
        • Sludge Bomb
        • Muddy Water
    • Apostle (Muk, M)
      • Lv. 98
      • Adamant Nature (+Att, - Sp. Att)
      • 31/31/31/0/31/31
      • Poison Touch
      • Black Sludge
      • Moves:
        • Curse
        • Gunk Shot
        • Ice Punch
        • Shadow Sneak
    • Shepard (Reuniclus, M)
      • Lv. 95
      • Modest Nature (+Sp. Att, - Att)
      • 31/0/31/31/31/31
      • Regenerator
      • Choice Specs
      • Moves:
        • Future Sight
        • Psychic
        • Focus Blast
        • Shadow Ball
    • Seraph (Gastrodon, F)
      • Lv. 98
      • Relaxed Nature (+Def, - Spe)
      • 31/31/31/31/31/0
      • Storm Drain
      • Leftovers
      • Moves:
        • Toxic
        • Recover
        • Scald
        • Earthquake
    • Ophanim (Ditto, Genderless)
      • Lv. 95
      • Relaxed Nature (+Def, - Spe)
      • 31/31/31/31/31/0
      • Impostor
      • Choice Scarf
      • Moves:
        • Transform

    Administrative Divisions:
    Spoiler :
    • Illumiose-de-France
    • Champagoo-Ardenne
    • Gooraine
    • Arceusace
    • Nord-Pas de Goomy
    • Upper Goomandy
    • Lower Goomandy
    • Brittagoo
    • Pays-de-la-Goo
    • Poigoo-Charentes
    • Agootaine
    • Midi-Goorenees
    • Limousligoo
    • Goontre
    • Burgoondy
    • Franche-Goompte
    • Rhone-Arceulps
    • GOOPA
    • Languedoc-Goossilon
    • Arceuvernge
    • Belgoo
    • Bade-Wurtembergoo
    • la Sligoouisse
      Added c. 3000 AG (Anno Goomini)
    • Basgoo Country
    • Aragóo
    • Gootalunya
    • Vorarlbergoo
    • Göodtirol
      Added c. 3001 AG (Anno Goomini)
    • Astnumeria
    • Valensligoo
    • Thuringigoo
    • Goostood Boajan
    • Goustria
    • Goolicia

    History: Later

  18. Bair_the_Normal

    Bair_the_Normal 全は禪

    Jan 31, 2012
    Name: Premier Grand and Most Utterly Serene Republic of all the United Byelorussian Peoples and the Peoples Under Byelorussian Rule
    Government: Super Happy Parliamentary Constitutional Republic
  19. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010
    Sort of. I had this idea before Insanity Reigns, although that game did encourage me to bring it back to life.

    Signups will close in about a week BTW. Great job with all applications so far! :goodjob:
  20. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010
    Spoiler :

    Thanks to Terran for compiling this map. There are a few claims missing, but they will be fixed soon.

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