IdIOT: Shock and Terror

~46 hours to lock I guess.
 
I'm going to bow out of the game at this point. I think I've done all I can with the Nekos at this stage and I don't want to slow down the game for those who have more stories to tell.

Thanks for GMing NC, it's been fun. :)
 
In light of political occurrences we of the Lunar Kingdom promise to protect the Neko Imperium from any aggressive non-cats trying to hinder its sovereign realm.
 

Link to video.

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Jorhan Stahl Urges Tariffs and Quotas on Skeletal National Motors

New Port City, Nova Terra - Under the urgency of the big four auto manufacturers within Nova Terra; Chryslus Motors Corporation, Albany Motors, Bürgerfahrzeug Auto and Dundreary Motors, Secretary of Commerce Jorhan Stahl has begun pensioning to the Imperitrix to expand upon Nova Terra's protectionist policies citing during his press conference with the Big Four "It's imperative that we strive to protect our industries. We've seen it happened when the Peaceful Skeleton Realm expanded their agricultural sector and caused a monopoly and global collapse of the world's agricultural sector. The Big Four don't want to see the same thing happening when we were blindsided when the PSR took a monopoly on agricultural industries and nether do I and the Imperitrix".

The Council of Moffs have collectively, until an official motion has been passed by Imperitrix Connie Marshall, to undertake their own protectionist measures through their respective regions' Department of Motor Vehicles to add in an extra layer of bureaucracy when Nova Terran citizens register any vehicles manufactured by Skeletal National Motors and bared any automotive dealers from the PSR from setting up dealerships within Nova Terra by imposing strict import quotas.

CEO of Chryslus Motors, Trakinor Finn stated "We must protect our industry from the economic warfare being waged by these skeletons by propping up monopolies to make the entire world dependent upon them for imports and collapsing other nation's agricultural sectors. We've seen when they've silently expanded there agricultural sector until it was too late. I'm glad that the Imperitrix caught onto it and enacted Tariffs and expanded our agricultural sector to make us self-sufficient. We must now catch this problem at the start before the skeletons collapse our automotive industry".

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Prospectors Seek Out Precious Metals in Dawnstar

Morthal, Dawnstar, Nova Terra - Rumors have circulated among the citizens within the taiga planet of Dawnstar, just one orbit away from the planet of Nova Terra, of the prospects of Gold and Silver within the mountain and hills of Dawnstar. Nova Terrans seeking to hit it big headed to the mountains and hills to prospect for these precious metals. Dawnstar Mine & Refineries Corporation has been founded to take advantage of the Dawnstar Gold and Silver Rush. A very adventurous group of prospectors known as the Platinum Dozen saught out on an even ambitious goal of finding the most rarest of precious metals; platinum.

Dawnstar Mine & Refineries Corporation is founded by Timpo Groundcrawler, who was the CEO of Cidhna Mines at Markarth before expanding his mining operation to the corporate level. Grand Moff Ardus Kaine, expects that any new Gold, Silver, and Platinum mining operations would bring in economic prowess to Nova Terran Space and to Nova Terra as a whole.

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Moff Hellman von Celanon Appointed Governor of Galilean Moon System and Jupiter

Nchardak, Ganymede, Jupiter, Nova Terra - With the creation of a new region, comes an appointment of a new governor for the Jupiter and Galilean Moon system, Moff Hellman von Celanon. He is to serve as a subordinate to Grand Moff Ardus Kaine.

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Orwell Movement Prompts Downsizing of Surveillance

Morthal, Dawnstar, Nova Terra - With protests and threats of unrest looming around the corner, despite the efforts made by the Inquisition and the Nationalist Defense Militia. Imperitrix Marshall finally said enough is enough and made an edict to downsize surveillance cameras posted across the nation in an attempt to rein in the Orwell Movement to pacify them. "It's an absolute disgrace that these dissenters would be willing to jeopardize our own national security" Tym Nightshade said in a press conference "I share my frustrations with the Imperitirix in this situation as we both begrudgingly move to downsize the amount of security cameras we have in place across the nation in the name of stability in Central and South America and that the Orwell Movement disband themselves".

Some political theorists believe the core of the rising dissent is the long passing of Nova Terra's threats from the shadows.

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Nationalist Congress Reopens

New Port City, Nova Terra - With the recent upticks in violent protests comes a greater need for the people to have their voices heard in a civil and non-violent manner. Debate circled among the Imperitrix and the Moff Council in reactivating the legislative branch of the government that's been closed down since the establishment of Nationalist Nova Terra. Gilad Pellaeon suggested, though concerns about following the path that the Empire of Romania has taken. Eventually it was agreed to model the legislative branch of government to that of the old People's Republic of China's National People's Congress by maintaining a single-party state.

The newly formed National Assembly would compose 700 seats, 100 seats per planet/territory. With the criterias is that the representative is to be a member of the Nationalist Party, be a nationalized Nova Terran citizen for the past seven years, an inhabitant of the territory and/or planet they represent and must be at least twenty-five years old. The first criteria is to maintain a strict one-party system. The presiding officer of the National Assembly is the Speaker of the House and is directly appointed by the Imperitrix herself. While the set up is a unicameral legislature. It's a defacto bicameral legislature with the Council of Moffs serving a senatorial role. The Imperitirix will still remain both the head of state and government of Nova Terra.

Imperitrix Connie Marshall hopes that the reopening of the National Congress would provide an outlet for the citizens to constructively give their voice instead of causing instability with protests and uprisings.

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latest


Death Korps of Kreg Re-enforces Veer's Army

Eagle's Landing, Siberia, Nova Terra - Deploying from New Königsberg, Caldera. The 3rd Army, otherwise known as the Death Korps of Kreg, have been deployed from the volcanic world of the planet Caldera within Nova Terra space to reenforce General Veer's military in the front at the border between the United Siberian States and the East Asian Republic. Next to the Dawnstar Amazonian Division, the Death Korps of Kreg are the finest and fearcest military unit within the Armed Forces of Nova Terra.
 
biorhodes.jpg

"The world is nearly all parcelled out, and what there is left of it is being divided up, conquered and colonised. To think of these stars that you see overhead at night, these vast worlds which we can never reach. I would annex the planets if I could; I often think of that. It makes me sad to see them so clear and yet so far."

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"Good news, Cecil! Thanks to our crafty mates up in Mysteria, now you can! It's an uncontested fact that Oz is the greatest nation on God's earth, which is why we were not only the first in space, but the first exosolar settlers to boot! Tragically our inspiring progress was torn apart by gaysexuals and the fur— conspiracy. But with Shorten soon ta be bumped off for good, we can at last reclaim our rightful legacy with our battler descendents in Space Oz! With the help of that gigantic elevator thing in the capital of Canada, Toronto, we're at last ready to launch a manned mission ta reunite with our lost prodigy!"

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"Tony, ya bloody mongrel! Why're ya wastin' our own battlers' dollars on so-called science when we've a war to win, which I'm only acknowledgin' since the homo GM went 'n spilled the bloody beans!"

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"Shut'cher face, Bob, before I shut it for ya!"
 
Lock is delayed by around 24 hours because of unexpected homework. Sorry about that.

BTW, I think everyone should know that this will be the second last normal update. After this turn and next turn I'll start writing the conclusion, with your input of course.
 
The Church of Goomy strongly condemns the unruly citizens of the Neko Imperium's border regions, and urges their government to keep better control over them.
 
Orders lock whenever people get orders in I guess.
 
We invite the international community to create a common guideline to set ground rules and laws that govern international trade in order to prevent such conflict to happen again and to encourage free trade that is fair and beneficial for everyone.
Grunkle Stan announces that he is down with this.
 
For the potential of ensuring the place of Lunar agricultural goods (including Moon cheese) as a special commodity and for the potential industrial goods produced from lunar metals we of the Lunar Kingdom will sent a delegation to the meetings that will talk about the guidelines.
 
From: Imperitrix Connie Marshall, Nationalist Nova Terra
To: Peaceful Skeleton Realm
Subject: Foreign Trade Question

We have overheard your squabalings concerns over our protectionist policies and implementations of tariffs on your goods. We would like to address our own concerns from our point of view. The monopolization that the Skeleton Realm has persued has only negatively impacted domestic industries of other nations across the planet Earth. Namely the collapse of the agricultural sector of Rome and stifling our own agricultural industry. The Big Four have also grown weary about you entry into the automotive industry and believe that the Skeleton Realm will enter in a monopoly there as well.

Nova Terra is only protecting it's own strategic resources and interests in the event if and when the Peaceful Skeleton Realm decides to manipulate food distributions by way of embargos when a war flares up.

We will only lift our tariffs if there's a guarantee that the Peaceful Skeleton Realm is committed on not disrupting the flow of foodstuffs and allowing a competitive market. However, we will not involve ourselves in setting guidelines to govern international trade as it sets a dangerous precedent on stripping away sovereignty from other nations.
 
We invite Nova Terra, the Peaceful Skeleton Realm and potential others of interests to the Moon for a summit on these trade matters, so we can debate and organise fairly.
 
From: Imperitrix Connie Marshall, Nationalist Nova Terra
To: Peaceful Skeleton Realm
Subject: RE: Foreign Trade Question

We are very very taken back at your accusations that we have selfish self-interests, even calling our own law makers short-sighted when we are mearly protecting our own agricultural industries from utter collapse and preventing a food crisis domestically. We took steps to ensure our national security by securing our own food supplies to prevent a food crisis should it happen. We're not trying to "entrench" anything against you, but it's the result of planing ahead should the rare chance of an inevitable happens. Understand from our perspective on this "entrenching the event" is due to our dealings with the Cybermen who we were at peace with and had a non-aggression treaty until one day an opportunity opened up to the Cybermen and the next thing they were saying to us was "DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!" and waged a nasty war against us and our own survival, and don't get us started with EVIL. While we may not be as optimistic as the Skeletal Realm, we tend to be suspicious of people willing to do harm against us; militarily and/or economically. We do however share the same ideals; peace and prosperity.

I have spoken with my Secretary of Commerce Stahl and reviewed the videos that you've brought to our attention. Most of our concerns about international trade has been, lifted. Your guarantees that you're not going to manipulate your economic advantages for malicious purposes has given myself and Stahl a bit of relief.

I would hearby lift the tarrifs on Skeletal Foodstuffs and would like to extend an export deal of Nova Terran Steel forged from the planet Caldera of the Nova Terra System.

I on behalf of Nova Terra apologizes for any inconvenience our protectionist policies have made. I'll send in a delegate from the Department of Commerce to participate in the International Trade Conferance.
 
Fund for Poor Citizens
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- Makis Voridis, Minister of Finance

The Minister of Finance, Makis Voridis, announced the creation of a 'Fund for Poor Citizens'. Financed by the increased wealth produced due to the attraction of foreign investments, the fund will give financial aid to poor and homeless Caucasian citizens. "It is a small relief only", the Minister admitted, "but it is a start and will help the poorest of our citizens to survive and live their life with some dignity."

The Minister also noted that this fund shows that social welfare and libertarian economic policies are not diametrically opposite. "The wealth produced by the libertarian economic policy which we followed and which attracted foreign investments now allows us to help the poorest of our citizens and, most importantly, this will be done by not expanding the taxes as the revenues have increased due to the growth of the Caucasian economy."
 
Orders softlocked (finally)
 
And so after no opposition, Abbottsford hosted the 3014 World Cup. Fun was had by all parties and there was a distinct lack of kidnapping, bribery, cheating and all the other nonsense everyone pulled last year. Everything went smoothly until the winners tried to attain the cup, when they found to their dismay that it had disappeared.

****************


Link to video.

“Hah hah!” said the incredibly handsome man. “I have obtained the fifth McGuffin Key, with this I can finally get back what is mine!”

“What happened to the third and fourth keys?” Bold asked annoyingly.

“We got them off screen…” said the man as a terrible realisation hit him “Oh no…say it isn’t so…” The man hurriedly shoved the keys into the locks and saw the vault open, where he saw a horrific sight.

404 ERROR: ENDING NOT FOUND

“No…” said the man as he fell to his knees.

“I’m sorry Narrator,” said NinjaCow64, I, myself, the GM, “But I couldn’t think of a proper ending for you.”

“Hey!” Italics shouted. “What about us? We deserve and ending too.” I shot them a mean glance.

“You idiots were one of my worst ideas I have ever put to metaphorical paper.” I countered. “Especially the part where you want to go on a Catholic killing spree. Dearest Saber, what was I thinking? You were funny as a one-off gag, I shouldn’t have tried to extend you further. For that I am sorry. Disappear into the past and don’t come back unless you somehow turn into decent characters.”

“Thank you Ninja, we needed to be stopped.” said Underline, as he and his colleagues were sent back into the vault of bad ideas. The Narrator distraughtly sat on the ground, looking into the abyss that was the vault of bad ideas.

“Sorry about this,” I said as I sat down next to him. “Let’s have a drink to old times, eh?” A glass of port appeared in both of our hands.

“You mean Alexander: A Comedic Tale and Juilus Ceasar: A Comedic Tale?” the Narrator asked, referring to the works that he debuted in.

“Yeah,” I said “They were fun. Too much work though. You know, I think that I’ve realised something about those works. It was the interactivity that killed it.” The Narrator glared at me.

“That’s not fair.” He replied “Sure, the interactive elements made it difficult for you, but it was ultimately your decision to stop updating.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” I countered. “What I mean is that I think writing a traditional story is very different from managing an interactive experience such as that. I don’t think trying to combine the two is a good idea.” The Narrator looked like he had finally realised.

“I get it.” He said “This story that you brought me back for was too traditional. After the Basil it was almost completely divorced from the gameplay and that meant that it really didn’t have much of a right to exist. And now that the game is coming to an end, you don’t have a chance to tie this loose thread back into the game world. Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah,” I replied, sighing. I looked towards the Narrator and, to my surprise, I saw him standing up and smiling. “Wait, why are you smiling? Shouldn’t you hate me?”

“Nah,” he said “There’s no point hating you. I mean, I wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for you and it’s not like you screwed around with me too badly. And besides, I’m basically a reflection of you. I was conceived before you really were able to create characters that were separate from you. The only reason I’m an Anglo-Saxon male is because you are, the only reason I’m wearing a suit and red tie is because you think that looks cool. Hell, the only reason I like port is because you like port. I could throw this glass at the ground and declare that I hate port, and I did consider doing that at one point, but that wouldn’t change the fact that I like port, you know?” The Narrator looked at his watch. “Welp, looks like that’s my cue to go. If you ever need me, you know where to find me.” The Narrator looked at the vault and started to walk towards it.

“Hopefully that will be soon,” I said, causing the Narrator to stop walking. “I think you have potential, I might be able to do something with you, flesh you out more.” The Narrator scoffed.

“Please,” he said sarcastically. “The narrator-as-character idea has been done to death. This is probably my last ride. Although, this meta-ending suits me, I’m happy to go like this. Goodbye, good luck with the ending.” The Narrator then took one mighty step into the vault of bad ideas, no, the vault of ideas to be revisited later. The door closed with a clang and the scene faded away, leaving only the author.

“See you again soon.” I said. I then paused to drink some water.

“Now for the final act.”
 
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leik dis if u cry erryteim
 
WAR UPDATE


Link to video.

The Great Revolution:

With the unfortunate death of General Walter Kurtz a new general was needed to lead the Vietnamese war effort. General Jack D. Ripper was promoted to the position of Dictator. His first action was to dispel the pretence of that the three Vietnamese puppets were even semi-independent as the GM couldn’t be assed to manage four different NPCs when they were really the same entity it added an extra layer of bureaucratic difficulty. All of Vietnamese-held Asia was part of the K.C.U.F Alliance under Ripper, the one ruler. He also made a large shift in military strategy. He decided that it would be neigh impossible to try and stop the hordes of foreign invaders and that he should direct his remaining soldiers to crush the resistance movements, figuring if that the rebellion was crushed that they could negotiate a settlement with the Coalition forces. He also invested a large amount of money into WMD development, to “discourage further poisoning of water supplies to target Vietnamese vital bodily essences.”

His plans were met with difficulty, as Abbottsfordian spy rings encouraged mass defections in the military to the rebel armies. Even those of American descent were getting sick of war at this point, even a chance at peace was worth it. This was most problematic in East China where a group of soliders attempted a coup which turned into a large firefight. They were assisted by Nova Terran nuclear artillery, which eliminated the F.E.A.R deployment. This was made possible thanks to General Orlock’s large scale computerized simulations based on data collected from when the Cybermen made a similar manoeuvre, which allowed Orlock to predict the location that F.E.A.R assemble their armies at and allow him destroy them in all one foul swoop. This allowed Nova Terra to seize the territory held by F.E.A.R with minimal casualties, however there are many pro-K.C.U.F partisans remaining in the territory.

Although these setbacks were major, they were still only setbacks for General Ripper. His planned invasion of China still was able to proceed and it was a resounding success. The Chinese were outnumbered almost three-to-one, they had no chance at defending their territory against the numerically superior foe as the Vietnamese were using their tactics from the end of the Vietnam War of 21st Century, no amount of guerrilla warfare could hope to withstand that sort of strategy. Even with the help of defecting soldiers and Abbotsford’s CATS, the Chinese were pushed back to Xingjiang and suffered extremely heavy losses.

Even with the retaking of China, the Rebellion is still going strong. Even with the recent losses, the war is still very popular in both Abbottsford and Nova Terra, thanks to Abbott’s charming personality and the massive gains that Nova Terra had made this year with minimal casualties respectively. The Chinese are still quite optimistic as well. Their leader, the mysterious Red Lotus, has made multiple media appearances assuring that even though they were driven back to the accursed Xingjiang province once again she is confident that the war is very winnable. The Glorious Asian Union and the various other rebels unified under Rin Tohaska Junior are growing stronger every day thanks to the capture of the former Vietnamese heartland of Vietnam and the mass troop defections. Even still, the rebellion relies heavily on foreign support and would probably falter if the Vietnamese could convince the Pacific Coalition that continuing was not worth it. It is still very much anyone’s game at this point, the next year will be decisive in determining who is the victor and who is the loser.

Casualties:
-K.C.U.F: 27 MIL
-People's Republic of China: 9 MIL
-Abbotsford: 6 MIL
-China was seized by K.C.U.F
-5 ECO was lost in China in the chaos


Large Peasant Revolt Throws Neko Imperium into Chaos

With the sudden development of superpowers in a large proportion of the Nekoese citizenry, the people suddenly realised that they had a lot of power. They started demanding a more democratic society that was sort-of half-promised by the Empress but never saw the light of day. These demands quickly turned violent when they were not met and, thanks to the widespread of superpowers used by both sides, the country has descended into anarchy. This has removed them almost completely from the world stage as they have had to focus all their energies on internal affiars. Even their puppets in Siberia have abandoned them, agreeing to be annexed by Russia after they made them an offer they couldn’t refuse, securing the region for the Highwaymen. It is unlikely that the Imperium will be able to react to the outside world affairs much at all in the next while.

[chaos intensifies]

(OOC: I’m not representing this mechanically; it’s just done to explain why the Imperium does literally nothing this turn. You can interfere if you want, but I’ll handle things in a different way than I usually do when it comes to civil wars considering we are so late in the piece).

Will Bold Moves by the Church of Goomy Secure Victory?

The year started off with the Church of Goomy formally and publically condemning the Neko Imperium for not maintaining control over their citizens, which was quite ironic considering the current peasant revolt. Although this proclamation was rather meaningless in the grand scheme of things, it was enough for the Goomish Africans who continued to support the Goomish war effort with supplies and soldiers even though the local military is practically controlled by the Goomish Africans.

Back in Europe things are much less rosy. The Church was forced to withdraw from Eastern and Central Europe due to partisans making it extremely difficult to continue operations there. And things on the Burgundy/Savoy front came to a complete standstill, both sides were unable to breach the other’s defences. Use of Poison type Pokemon sabotaged conventional military advances on the part of the Napoleonic Alliance as there was simply no uncontaminated food or water available east of Savoy for the Alliance. The continued use of Wobbuffet to nullify the Ponies magics and the use of weather controlling Pokemon to counter weather controlling shenanigans prevented the Ponies from using their trump cards. However, the Church of Goomy could not press the advantage as widespread use of Pony bio-weaponry in the form of the infamous parasites destroyed any of the supplies needed for their forces to advance. This turned the front into a stalemate, with the Church forced back to a couple dozen kilometres outside of city limits.

It remained this way for quite a while until a group of Pokemon trainers in Savoy, still loyal to the Church, staged a revolt against the occupying forces. This prompted local Goomish and Danish commanders to take the initiative and push the Napoleonic Alliance back. Although this victory provided a large morale boost to the Goomish forces as they had finally driven Romania from their borders, the city of Savoy was in ruins and only provided a marginal tactical and economic bonus. The situation soon returned to the status quo of being a complete stalemate, the two sides were unable to make any further gains in region.

In an attempt to break the stalemate in Europe, the Church of Goomy decided to adopt a bold, perhaps desperate, new strategy. Using psychic teleportation, they planned to teleport from Europe all the way to Jersualem, Romania’s former capital and largest city, to seize the region and use it in a bargaining chip to force a peace settlement without alerting the greater Romanian armed forces. Unfortunately, expert psychic Pokemon trainers soon found that this was unfeasible, not even the highest level Pokemon could teleport that far in one jump. They found a compromise, they found that they could teleport via Mediterranean islands (specifically Corsica, Sardinia, Malta, Crete and Cyprus). This way they would be able to get to Jerusalem in a few hours while (hopefully) drawing only minimal Romanian attention. Unfortunately for the Church, their mass use of psychic powers was detected by Romanian magic users. Due to most forces being tied up on the Savoy front and money being diverted away from the navy due to it being primarily a land-based war, the Romanians could only organize a small fleet on such short notice which was easily routed by Danish longboat auxiliaries.

The Jerusalem Prefecture Guard were mostly composed of those who were not fit for the Romanian Military and the children of the wealthy and/or influential. Along with the facts that they were heavily outnumbered and only had a few hours to prepare, it was no wonder that their defence of the city was so lacklustre. The usual combination of Wobbuffets and weather controlling Pokemon were used to nullify magic and weather controlling abilities, while ghost type Pokemon were sent to spook the conventional forces to death. Rotoms were also heavily used, they sabotaged Romanian military equipment and manipulate the city’s electronics to their advantage. Within an hour the whole city was overrun, the rest of the Imperial Prefecture (minus Constantinople) was occupied shortly afterwards.

The Imperial Senate, shocked at this development, called for a special Senate meeting. The Senate almost unanimously declared a state of national emergency, delaying the elections and increasing each senator’s term by two years as they decided it was unfeasible to conduct elections when such a populous province was overrun. The only dissenting party was the Separatist Coalition, who said that their need for a referendum was vital and that if they were denied it then there would be consequences. And consequences there were, mere days after the proclamation the Balkans succeeded from the Empire. Anatolia attempted to as well, but the presence of a strong police force and loyalist humans prevented the revolt from breaking out. After hearing this news, all Separatist Coalition members were arrested and their senate privileges revoked. The remaining senators then decided that enough was enough and, with a slim majority, passed a resolution demanding the Empress to make peace with the Church of Goomy so they could focus on internal affairs. This greatly pleased the Italians, who were the foremost in pushing the legislation.

Although it is likely that the Napoleonic Alliance will try and force less-than-favourable peace terms onto the Church of Goomy, this is undeniably a major victory for them and may be the first step on the path to peace and stability.

Casualties:
-Church of Goomy: 5 MIL
-Denmark: 2 MIL
-Romania: 9 MIL
-Eastern and Central Europe were seized by Team Napoleon
-Savoy and Jerusalem were seized by the Church of Goomy
-Jerusalem lost 4 ECO due to the fighting


Aslaug's Invasion of Scandinavia

Sick and tired of the Neko Imperium’s refusal to do anything about the Mystery Country’s occupation of her homeland, Aslaug Khanjstavir raised a host of Vikings and tried to take Scandinavia back with her husband. Their attack was quickly repelled by the superior occupation force, Aslaug is no military genius and she was not able to overcome their forces. Aslaug has called for a parley and has offered to formally relinquish her claim to the Scandinavian throne for seemingly reasonable conditions. While signing this deal will bring peace to the region, will Grunkle Stan be so forgiving?

-Mystery Country lost 4 MIL and 5 ECO in the fighting

NPC diplomacy will be posted momentarily.
 
From: Imperium Romaniae, Team Napoleon
To: The Church of Goomy


We propose the following peace terms:

-An immediate ceasefire.
-The Church of Goomy will return Corsica, Sardinia, Malta, Crete, Cyprus and the Imperial Prefecture back to Romanian control.
-The Church of Goomy will recognize Team Napoleon as the rightful rulers of Western and Central Europe. Romania and Team Napoleon will recognize the Church of Goomy as the rightful rulers of Western Europe and Goomish Africa.

We would like to remind the Church of Goomy that, despite these recent setbacks, we have a superior economy and a superior military to you. Please consider carefully before you respond to this proposal.

From: Aslaug Khanjstavir
To: Grunkle Stan


I have a simple proposal which will bring peace to my homeland, which is ultimately in both our best interests. I will relinquish my claim on the throne, as the primary pretender this will sort out most succession issues and will lead to you having an undisputed claim on the throne. All I ask for in exchange is a large golden parachute (a couple dozen million Mysterious dollars would do), Mysterious citizenship for me and my husband and a nice mansion in Quebec. I’m sure that would easy for you to arrange, considering what I am offering.
 
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