Random Rants 80: Computer Says No

[Snerk]

We shall fight in the kitchen, we shall fight in the living room, and in the hallway. We shall never surrender.

 

[JohannaK]

"I am become Ant-Man, eater of scraps." - That A-Bomb Guy

 

[Berzerker]

"An Ohio gamer upset about a $1.50 bet while playing Call of Duty: WWII online was sentenced Friday to 15 months in prison for recruiting a prankster to make a bogus emergency call that resulted in the fatal shooting of a Kansas man by police."

He got some killed by the cops and 15 months is his sentence

They both should have gotten decades in prison

 

[choxorn]

Relevant Onion Article

 

[Patine]

My neighbors wouldn't go for that lol. My only door opens into the common area.

It's fine though, they're really on the ropes. I saw a single ant today for the first time in over a week and before that they were only showing up in ones or twos for the previous week.


When the envoy arrived from your lands, I kicked him down a well. WE ARE SPARTA

Ah yes, I thought maybe this might be an objection, but wasn't sure exactly what your setup was.



That's what you think, but there is no stopping them, the ants...will soon be here. I for one would like to welcome our new insect overlords....

Ride now, ride for ruin and the worlds ending. And crumbs, ride for crumbs. Deeeeeaaaath!!

"Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East."

"I am become Ant-Man, eater of scraps." - That A-Bomb Guy

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I was trying to clean the earpads on my headphones and accidentally tore them off. And now they won't go back on. That's not good.

I found a spare set for now. They sound terrible.

EDIT: I managed to fix a bit of the terrible sound by messing around with the equalizer. It'll work for the time being. I found some replacement earpads online that's cheaper than a new pair of headphones (the old ones are worn ragged) but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get them on.

EDIT: My mother offered to buy me a new set of headphones. I pointed out that replacing the pads would be cheaper and she agreed to that. So I went ahead and ordered them.

 

[Synobun]

My new pair of $150 shoes are terrible. Over twice the cost of what I usually spend on shoes and they are so god-awful uncomfortable. And, from what I can tell, their being waterproof is more of an idea than a reality. My $30 flat slip-ons are more comfortable to wear.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Can you take them for a refund?

 

[Arakhor]

New shoes are frequently uncomfortable; it's just a question of whether they will always be so or if you'll break them in later.

 

[Synobun]

I've been wearing them for a month. Any day now...

 

[Zardnaar]

If you lose your job, hire a clown.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49708570

 

[hobbsyoyo]

The right half of my front bike caliper is now permanently locked in the braking position.

I've also been experiencing a lot of anxiety the last few days.

And now I've got a sinus infection.

 

[Kyriakos]

I don't think my new story is worth anything. It would be the second time I failed in longer narrative (30 pages atm and nowhere near completion). The story itself isn't really inviting the reader and has way too particular meaning (some columnist in somewhat respectable journals is approached with the lure of better pay to a strange periodical based outside the city, and the story he has to write is revealed in the end to be about a person with the head of a crocodile).
I think it is more of a farce now, so I will just leave it aside and reread it two weeks from now to establish if it is worth bothering more with it.

sinus infection.

There's your band name

 

[shadowplay]

My new pair of $150 shoes are terrible. Over twice the cost of what I usually spend on shoes and they are so god-awful uncomfortable. And, from what I can tell, their being waterproof is more of an idea than a reality. My $30 flat slip-ons are more comfortable to wear.

What kind did you get?

 

[Takhisis]

If you lose your job, hire a clown.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49708570

>"Joe" accompanied Josh for the redundancy meeting, where the clown made balloon animals, although he had to be told to stop a few times as it was difficult to hear above the screeching of plastic.

That's definitely for the Raves thread and/or the Weird News thread.

 

[rah]

Over the years, I've had to have that discussion with quite a few employees and that article made my day. Thank you.

 

[Synobun]

What kind did you get?

Waterproof hiking boots from Mark's.

 

[shadowplay]

Waterproof hiking boots from Mark's.

That's too bad. I haven't bought boots there in a while now, but they usually have quality stuff.

 

[Zardnaar]

Over the years, I've had to have that discussion with quite a few employees and that article made my day. Thank you.

Normally you would take a union advocate or lawyer but it can be anyone as the article says. A clown is funny and is cheaper and in that situation a lawyer can't do much.

 

[rah]

I've never had to do it to a union employee so they've always been alone, which actually made the clown seem even more funny.