Random Rants XIV: You're gonna love my nuts

I need a banana.

 

My mother is nuts.

She refuses to go shopping without me. I'm not sure why, she keeps saying "I'm tired and I need help." Well to be honest I'm sick of her pulling this excuse. She's 'tired' every weekend and when she gets to the actual shop she just dawdles and gawps at flowers/things that interest her, but obviously not waiting for me if I want to look at something. Also, how many other 16 year olds are forced to go shopping with their mother? I'm sick of this now.

 

Why would you need your Warlords disc if you have BTS?

And who plays without no-cds anyway?

 

Many many. Be a good boy and listen to your momma.

 

Do something that would make her embarrassed to go shopping with you.

 

It could be worse. I had a friend who's mom insisted on performing crotch checks to make sure his pants weren't too tight anytime they went clothes shopping.

 

pedobear is pleased.

 

Once again the difference between American and British meaning of then word ''pants'' proves hilarious.

 

Will those silly Brits ever learn to speak proper English. Pants are over, underpants are under. Screw them and their trousers and pants!

 

Canada should make up its own language like we did. Some Inuit language would be cool.

 

I bought a knock-off slap-chop yesterday, made by Cuisinart. I'm kind of bummed that it isn't dishwasher safe.

 

Some of our people kinda did, it's called Newfie.

 

My mom does the same. Except it's for GODDAMN GROCERIES. Grocery shopping is the most boring thing I've seen.

Don't even get me started on clothes shopping with her. Usually takes about ten minutes to get some pants, right? Nope. We got twenty more minutes of her looking for stuff for herself. :suicide: I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!

 

My mom always insists on me trying on pants in front of her so she can remark on how my ass looks in it and if my crotch sticks out.

Even though I'm pretty sure I could establish that myself in front of a mirror.

RANT - Spinal shifts suck hardcore.

 

Twitch in my left eye.

It's annoying.

 

@D'art: The rule of shopping: There's a direct correlation between number of x chromosomes and spent time looking for clothes.

 

QFT. My girlfriend can spend hours boringly wandering through the mall. It usually goes like this:
Go to the mall with no effing clue what she wants to buy >
Wander around window shopping >
Try crap on >
Put it back >
Go to some other store >
Do the same thing>
Deciding the first store was better and going back there >
Try crap on again to make sure it hasn't magically changed in the time she's been away >
Ask me my opinion >
Get mad because I say "I told you an hour ago that looked great, let's GTFO of here. OMG your slow"

VS

I decide what I want to buy >
I do some quick research on the internet >
I go to the store >
Pick out what I want (in my size which I know by heart, since it's not like I'm growing anymore) >
Try it on and take a quick look in the mirror >
Buy it >
Piss off and go home.


Also, what the hell is up with womens clothing sizes. It's the most ******** system I've ever seen. Men's clothing measures in actual measurement units (ie: when I buy pants they're marked in inches). Womens clothing has arbitrary sizes which make no sense. I mean FFS they have Size ZERO clothing. How the *f* does size Zero work? Shouldn't that mean the clothing isn't barely 3D and only takes up a singular point in space, like a black hole? What's next, NEGATIVE sizes? Will they just shift the whole scale over so that even the most obese woman is a size -1? Are women dumb enough that they actually think this makes people perceive them as skinnier just because the number is smaller?

 

You want to eat, right? Just be greatful you don't have to pay for the groceries.

My rant: I procrastinated. Again. Now I have a ton of work to do.

 

I have to write a series of defense speeches for a mock debate on Tuesday, and I really really don't want to write them.