Random Rants XIX: Failure Tactics

[kulade]

 

[D'Artagnan59]

I recommend cluster bombs.

RPGs, then cluster bombs, then we EMP the entire Northeast just to destroy all crappy music.

Which is when we murder the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga.

 

[Bill3000]

The tags still suck.

I can add two if you want.

 

[Eretz Yisrael]

Ah, the beauty of Christian morals...

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

Gunpowder, IIRC

Reminds me of a quote:

"You stupid Greeks, I have known your cunning ways for long enough. The late Sultan was a lenient and conscientious friend to you. The present Sultan Mehmed is not of the same mind. If Constantinople eludes his bold and imperious grasp, it will only be because Allah continues to overlook your devious and wicked schemes. You are fools to think that you can frighten us with your fantasies and that when the ink on our recent treaty of peace is barely dry. We are not children without strength or sense. If you think that you can start go ahead. If you want to bring the Hungarians across the Danube, let them come. If you want to recover places that you lost long since, try it. But know this: you will make no headway in any of these things. All that you will do is lose what little you still have." - Halil Pasha, Ottoman Grand Vizier

 

[Japanrocks12]

all I got for no-shave november was a stache and neckbeard.

 

[Leonel]

Damn I had kids these days. For Thanksgiving while the old people were talking amongst themselves, this ADD kid with absolutely no concept of manners comes bugging me. Asking me what I'm doing every 15 minutes and just generally being a nuisance. The worst part was when he played the Gummi Bear song on his cell phone for 15 minutes. Not only is that an annoying song but what is a kid doing with a cell phone in the first place? More importantly, what would possess a kid to show me a video of his dog humping things on his cell phone?!

I just wish I had discovered a way to scare him off sooner. Next time he asked me what I was doing, I just pulled up a Wikipedia page on the Napoleonic Wars and read it out loud to him. He didn't last an entire paragraph and left at "French power rose quickly..." to beg his parents to go home.

Try it! A kid starts bothering you, read something historical that would bore a kid to death, anything between the Roman's and Victorian ages are safe eras. Don't read him anything about WW2 as those are popular games and Vietnam can be iffy too as you might find out the hard way that the kid is politically inclined.

 

[Perfection]

i can add two if you want.

USA #1

ALSO

I DIDN'T GET ANY TURKEY LEFTOVERS

 

[Zack]

I was sick on Thanksgiving. All I had ALL DAY was some crackers.

 

[Karalysia]

It's Xmas soon.

Also there's no snow.

 

[Joecoolyo]

Damn I had kids these days. For Thanksgiving while the old people were talking amongst themselves, this ADD kid with absolutely no concept of manners comes bugging me. Asking me what I'm doing every 15 minutes and just generally being a nuisance. The worst part was when he played the Gummi Bear song on his cell phone for 15 minutes. Not only is that an annoying song but what is a kid doing with a cell phone in the first place? More importantly, what would possess a kid to show me a video of his dog humping things on his cell phone?!

I just wish I had discovered a way to scare him off sooner. Next time he asked me what I was doing, I just pulled up a Wikipedia page on the Napoleonic Wars and read it out loud to him. He didn't last an entire paragraph and left at "French power rose quickly..." to beg his parents to go home.

Try it! A kid starts bothering you, read something historical that would bore a kid to death, anything between the Roman's and Victorian ages are safe eras. Don't read him anything about WW2 as those are popular games and Vietnam can be iffy too as you might find out the hard way that the kid is politically inclined.

Haha, that would never work on me! In fact I was reading that same page the other day just for fun. I would probably force you to read me the page about the Mongol Empire too, then the Chinese...

 

[Dumanios]

I was reminded about Rule 34.In art class.With Xacto knifes.




Oh,and I just lost the game.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Cat, in three colors,
stretches long across my lap--
trapping me with sleep

 

[Ansar]

English paper for tomorrow and I cannot write something coherent.

Test on The Tempest tomorrow and I've no idea about the play.

 

[Rashiminos]

I had asked a stupid question here a moment ago instead of consulting with Googleone.

 

[choxorn]

It's Xmas soon.

Also there's no snow.

Yes, let there be snow!

 

[Tee Kay]

It's too bloody hot.

 

[Love]

Because when it's snowing in hell...

 

[Joecoolyo]

It's too bloody hot.

Dude, I'll trade! I'd rather have bloody hot than 40's around here... ugh I would enjoy it more if we had snow, but we don't, it's just cold

 

[Tee Kay]

Use Celcius!