Random Thoughts 9: Attack of the Vapid Posts

[Birdjaguar]

I've never had one and have no interest in trying one. My kids probably ate them while not at home.

 

[Takhisis]

I tried an authentic American pop-tart the other day. Its encounter with the toaster didn't go too well and it was far too sweet. (I'm speaking as someone with a serious chocolate/biscuit tooth!)

More evidence towards my 99.99%-reliable New Scientist finding that 'muricans have a sweet tooth that is both unhealthy and unhealthful.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I miss cherry pop tarts. They stopped selling them in Canada.

I don't remember cherry pop tarts. You can get the 24-packs that have 8 each of strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. Chocolate ones are available on amazon.ca (haven't tried them, as they're an add-on product and I never got around to it).

I've tried toasting them, and prefer them cold. Where's the fun of having a treat that's literally too hot to handle until it cools... and then you might as well not have bothered in the first place?

EDIT: I decided to see just what Amazon does have. The basic strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry, and the chocolate fudge ones as an add-on ($2.77, with an order of at least $25), and there are others for some insane prices:

Chocolate Milkshake
Brown Sugar Cinnamon
Pumpkin Pie
Cherry
Cookies & Creme
S'Mores
Blue Raspberry
Confetti Cupcake
Chocolate Chip
Wild Berry
Sugar Cookie
Froot Loop
Cinnamon Roll
Pretzel Cinnamon Sugar
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Hot Fudge Sundae
Chocolate Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter
Choctastic
Chocolate Cupcake

Some of these look... intriguing. But not at $80/box.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Our local grocery store sells Cookies & Creme and S'Mores albeit at the regular price. The others don't sound familiar.

 

[Ajidica]

I tried an authentic American pop-tart the other day. Its encounter with the toaster didn't go too well and it was far too sweet. (I'm speaking as someone with a serious chocolate/biscuit tooth!)

Pop-tarts are literally cardboard envelopes with melted plastic inside.

 

[cardgame]

That's hyperbolic... but only a little.

 

[Takhisis]

What? You have to melt them yourself in a microwave oven?

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

It makes burn the tonguie you dont want. The poptarts burn. Cold.

 

[Synobun]

It makes burn the tonguie you dont want. The poptarts burn. Cold.

So long as it doesn't burn the tongue I do want.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

It is a fact that if you insist on actually toasting a PopTart you want to let it cool off after for a long time before you eat it. When the surface of the pastry seems invitingly warm to the touch biting into that thing can leave you with a chunk of pastry spot welded to the inside of your mouth by filling that seems like a cross between rubber cement and molten lava. Break it in half and check the filling with extreme caution.

 

[Farm Boy]

Don't toast it. It is still going to be diabetes inducing sweet. Like oven hot apple pie. WTH. Put that **** on the windowsill for a while. Flesh on the inside of your mouth is a good, not a bad.

 

[Takhisis]

oven hot apple pie

Hhmmmmm apple pie.

 

[Farm Boy]

Apple pie, yes! Flesh-removing herpes-hot, no! That's for delivery pizza and blackout drunk coeds.

 

[cardgame]

Speaking of hot food, I burned my tongue on some otherwise delicious microwave pasta.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Apple pie, yes! Flesh-removing herpes-hot, no! That's for delivery pizza and blackout drunk coeds.

This made me stop and try to compare by memory...I think that the PopTart burn actually is worse than the impatient pizza eater molten cheese roof of the mouth burn. They are in the same league, but slight edge to the PopTart.

 

[Farm Boy]

I agree. I don't warn people away from Dominoes. I do from putting their poptards in a toaster.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I agree. I don't warn people away from Dominoes. I do from putting their poptards in a toaster.

I figure there is no one older than about six who hasn't experienced the pizza burn, and if they want to risk a second lesson they are on their own.

 

[Takhisis]

I figure there is no one older than about six who hasn't experienced the pizza burn

Pizza does exist outside the U.S. of A.

 

[Farm Boy]

Do six year olds?

 

[Takhisis]

Judging by the amount of noise my upstairs neighbours make, and the amount of toys that fall down onto our humble abode from their window, yes.