Roll to Dodge XXX: Furthermore Ludicrous Edition (Part III)

[Imago]

I try my luck talking to turtles.

 

[Optical]

I drop out of this RTD. I just can't keep up with all the stuff I'm doing on CFC ATM.

EDIT: Scratch that. I'm still in.

I make some upgrades to my gun

 

[Daftpanzer]

Using spare parts found in hoplitejoe's basement, I build a time-travel device.

 

[Anonymoose]

I dance.... the night away while joining this grand game.

 

[Abaddon]

Update 7

I reminisce in my ice castle.
(Daftpanzer, you get the guest room)

19 (15): You remeber the good times and this makes you happy.

I teleport to Dagobah.

10: You don't have a teleporter.

I put a greatcoat on and begin to shoot enemy tanks from the roof.

11: You shoot out several tanks. Even Soviets feel the cold.

I continue to lie down behind the sandbag's in hopes that I heal my negative effects

Sergeant Reznov searches the building for a flamethrower

2 (reroll - 7): You just lay there.. Sergeant Reznov walks off unto the unknown.

I scream really loud.

6: It hurts your throat... (-2hp)

I take control of the German 3rd Army.

9: The don't want to take orders from you.

I use my Jedi powers and newfound immunity to crush Red Apy even further

6 (8): Nah, nothing.

My gun will help me win the Argument against the Pneumonia.

5 (6): Even with the gun, it just isn't backing down and you lose more points (-4hp)

I try my luck talking to turtles.

11: Well hello turtle! Hello Mr Imago says the turtle back!...

I make some upgrades to my gun

19: The gun is now a laser guided grenade launcher!

Using spare parts found in hoplitejoe's basement, I build a time-travel device.

15 (12): Dragging yourself around in you shellshocked state, you still manage to build a time travel device.. with two charges.

I dance.... the night away while joining this grand game.

4: All you do is dance on a landmine... (-8hp -legs)



-------------------
The Pneumonia continues to dig in... at the end of next turn even more nasty things will happen to those still on the battlefield, inactive CivCube gets shot in the eye...

 

[Imago]

I befriend the giant turtle upon whose back New Zealand sits.

 

[Boundless]

I blast everyone to pieces with my Jedi powers!

 

[hoplitejoe]

I return fire on Boundless with my ice cannon (I have an ice cannon now)

 

[W|M]

I fight until eligible for an important Soviet award, with my retinue blasting Communist propaganda from high places.

@Omega124, it was the 6th Army that fought in Stalingrad, not the 3rd Army.

 

[Terrance888]

I bayonet the Pnuemonia which I found on my gun.

 

[mechaerik]

I punch a nearby tree so hard it catches fire, warming me up.

 

[Red_Spy]

edit: I heal myself.

 

[Daftpanzer]

I travel forward in time to early June, 2011

PS many thanks to hoplitejoe for his hospitality!

 

[Omega124]

I make them take orders anyways.

 

[Anonymoose]

A moose without legs?! NONSENSE!
I obtain ROBOTIC MOOSE LEGS.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

Sergeant Reznov gains the power to get an individual roll and become an NPC

I, on the other hand, go to sleep

 

[Skwink]

I cry on the ground.

 

[Abaddon]

Update 8

I befriend the giant turtle upon whose back New Zealand sits.

18: An what a nice Giant Turtle he is! He offers you his help in any way he can.

I blast everyone to pieces with my Jedi powers!

5 (7): Your powers a weaker than you thought..

I return fire on Boundless with my ice cannon (I have an ice cannon now)

20: Sh-BOOM! She is hit with an almighty blast from your cannon! (-15hp)

I fight until eligible for an important Soviet award, with my retinue blasting Communist propaganda from high places.

2: The fighting really really hurts, and you are badly hit. Losing 10hp

I bayonet the Pnuemonia which I found on my gun.

2: Pneumonia cannot be bayonetted easily, you stab yourself (-10hp)

I punch a nearby tree so hard it catches fire, warming me up.

6 (8): No, it just hurts to do so (-3hp)

edit: I heal myself.

5: Sorry, did you say harm yourself? (-4hp)

I travel forward in time to early June, 2011

12 (10): Zeeerrkekeke,cerklanger-POP! There you are. Still battered and bruised.. Being Shellshocked didn't help matters, and now you only have 1 charge left.

I make them take orders anyways.

3: They find this offencive and start shooting!

R2D!

5: An they shoot at you hurting you for 5hp.

A moose without legs?! NONSENSE!
I obtain ROBOTIC MOOSE LEGS.

8: There seem to be none spare in the vicinity.

Sergeant Reznov gains the power to get an individual roll and become an NPC

I, on the other hand, go to sleep

16 (14): He's gone, but you fall out unconciousness, and are instead asleep.

I cry on the ground.

13: Your tears cure pneumonia.


--------------
The battle wages on, as both armies beging shelling the battlefield!!

Roll to Dodge!

Boundless (13) They Miss!
mechaerik (13) They Miss!
Omega124 (3) Direct Hit! (-6hp)
Skwink Caesar (16) They Miss!
CivCube (2) Direct Hit! (-8hp)
Terrance888 (20) They Miss! (+ Shell to items)
General Olaf (16) They Miss!
Anonymoose (7) Hit! (-3hp)
Soviet Mercenaries (9) Hit! (-2hp)
Josep Guardiola (15) They Miss!

----------
You lucky sods!

The Pneumonia will kill a lot of players off if they don't heal is soon!!!!

 

[Skwink]

I crawl all the way to India.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I help Daftpanzer travel where he wants but don't go my self.