The Olive Branch Thread

[timtofly]

A rose branch is not an olive branch? I'll have to deliver olives next time, I think roses.

 

[Hygro]

mah bad

 

[Borachio]

Offering one to Kyriakos. I don't like you, your posts are annoying at best, and nauseating at worst, but I shouldn't have been so childish about it. Sorry.

Can you not at least try to like people?

Still, that's probably not the right thing to say. I feel the urge to say something. I just don't know what.

 

[Quackers]

Offering one to Kyriakos. I don't like you, your posts are annoying at best, and nauseating at worst, but I shouldn't have been so childish about it. Sorry.

This is mean. You should apologise for your apology

 

[Kyriakos]

It's ok, what if i told you
i don't need an actual apology, being Apollo's apogee.

 

[metatron]

Slovenia has an HDI of .892, tied with Finland, ranks 8th in the world in gender equality right between Germany and France (US #43), has a Gini index of 23.8 (lower than Norway), virtually 100% literacy, a murder rate of 0.7, great food, culture, people etc. etc. and their cable news don't cause ulcers.

And the capital looks like this:

Spoiler :

These are widely know facts, not secrets.

So on behalf of CFC i would like to apologise to Slovenia on account of comments made by other posters.

Btw:
The gender (in)equality index for 2013 is out.

Slovenia #1

 

[Kyriakos]

Slovenia has a population of what...Kosovo's numbers?

 

[Oruc]

Offering one to Kyriakos. I don't like you, your posts are annoying at best, and nauseating at worst, but I shouldn't have been so childish about it. Sorry.

Can you point out some examples of his nauseating posts?

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Can you point out some examples of his nauseating posts?

Not here

_________________

Long overdue -

I accused Valka of something pretty terrible based on a hunch. It was awful of me and I feel bad for it. I sincerely apologize but honestly don't expect forgiveness or anything. I just owe you the apology Valka. Sorry

 

[Traitorfish]

Btw:
The gender (in)equality index for 2013 is out.

Slovenia #1

Slovenia seems pretty cool. I'd be happy to settle for "post-Yugoslav state, but nobody's actually massacring each other", so all this other stuff is just icing on the cake.

You go, Slovenia. You just keep on doing what you're doing.

 

[Oruc]

Not here

If someone's posting style grates you and you wish to frankly discuss it, this is the place for that as well.

If he claims Kyriakos puts out nauseating posts he should back it up, at least show us an example so we can talk about and find out why it's so nauseating.

 

[Kyriakos]

I just want to say that i also would not want my own self becoming the focus of this thread... Not just because it is not its function, but also since it is not really a bright spotlight for my talents

 

[kochman]

Perhaps this thread would be better served under RD standards?

It was not meant to be serious or meaningful anyway... but had it been, yes, the RD designation would have made sense.

Instead this thread has largely been used as a place to insult people without apologizing or accepting apologies... like a safe zone for being a jerk.

 

[bhsup]

Actually, I think Hobbs did indeed mean it to be a meaningful and serious thread right from the outset. Good thread with good intentions.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Not here

If he claims Kyriakos puts out nauseating posts he should back it up, at least show us an example so we can talk about and find out why it's so nauseating.

I myself have tried things similar to that in this very thread and it didn't work out very well. I don't remember if I re-posted exact posts, but I summarized in detail my problem with the posters in question which amount to about the same thing. Like I said, it didn't go well and caused all involved (including myself) to become butthurt over it.

Also re-posting stuff will open up this thread to become a place to argue about other threads and posts, which it isn't meant to be.

It was not meant to be serious or meaningful anyway...

It actually was.

but had it been, yes, the RD designation would have made sense.

It was originally a chamber thread but was removed from there pretty quickly.

Instead this thread has largely been used as a place to insult people without apologizing or accepting apologies... like a safe zone for being a jerk.

I disagree with the assesment. Sure, the thread has been abused by some but for the most part it's been ok at serving it's function.

Actually, I think Hobbs did indeed mean it to be a meaningful and serious thread right from the outset. Good thread with good intentions.

Thanks. The problem is that we still haven't figured out exactly how to 'do' it right. You do get people who troll the thread purposefully because they don't like it and you also get people who give half-hearted apologies wrapped in insults. An RD would probably help with that, along with people accepting a few things -

1) The thread exists and if you don't like that fact, don't bother posting
2) If you aren't ready to give a full apology, then probably don't bother
3) Stop talking about the thread in the thread
4) If you genuinely want to apologize, then just do it simply and don't add in the things you don't like about the other person. On retrospect, it doesn't work or help anything. If you still carry a grudge against someone that you can't just let go, then maybe stay away from the thread

 

[Oruc]

I myself have tried things similar to that in this very thread and it didn't work out very well. I don't remember if I re-posted exact posts, but I summarized in detail my problem with the posters in question which amount to about the same thing. Like I said, it didn't go well and caused all involved (including myself) to become butthurt over it.

Well it was just the reaction he described "nauseating" that's a pretty big claim to throw down. But fine.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Yeah I guess what I'm getting at is he probably shouldn't have made the claim to begin with. It doesn't help, but it's natural to want to apologize for being a dick to someone while calling out why you were a dick to them. If we all acted like grown ups, the thread could handle this kind of situation. But we're not all grown ups all the time, which is why this thread exists to begin with!

So I'm directly counter-acting my own OP because that idea just didn't work out I think. What is yall's opinion?

Should we discuss posting styles here?

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I try to be very Art Deco in my posting style. So far I think I've been pulling it off quite well.

Should I stop pulling it off while posting?

 

[kochman]

I try to be very Art Deco in my posting style. So far I think I've been pulling it off quite well.

Should I stop pulling it off while posting?

Hey man, if this site makes you happy, continue pulling it off.

 

[Mise]

Yeah I guess what I'm getting at is he probably shouldn't have made the claim to begin with. It doesn't help, but it's natural to want to apologize for being a dick to someone while calling out why you were a dick to them. If we all acted like grown ups, the thread could handle this kind of situation. But we're not all grown ups all the time, which is why this thread exists to begin with!

So I'm directly counter-acting my own OP because that idea just didn't work out I think. What is yall's opinion?

Should we discuss posting styles here?

I don't think so, at least not without some ground rules first. I would rather use this thread as a place to make a public apology first and foremost, and only then, secondarily, as a place to discuss posting styles that annoy you. I think taillesskangaru's post was unnecessarily rude and not appropriate for this thread.

I think we also need to be clear about what an apology actually is. You shouldn't just apologise for what you've done, you should also apologise for the effect that has (or reasonably could have had) on someone else. So if I say "I'm sorry I was rude", I should really say "I shouldn't have been rude and I'm sorry that I hurt/insulted/aggravated you".

This link is primarily teaching children how to apologise, but frankly there are very few adults who actually do this. I certainly don't, not reflexively or instinctively anyway. In short:

I’m sorry for…
This is wrong because…
In the future, I will…
Will you forgive me?

Only after this process has been done can we even begin to discuss specific points about what's wrong with the other person's posting style. This is no different to any situation where you start off confrontationally, but need to move forward to open dialogue. Whether it's personal relationships and arguments with your significant other, or work situations where you and your colleague have had a very "heated" disagreement, the process is the same. You need to start from a position where the both of you are no longer in a confrontational place.

Without this in place, any discussion of specific styles will just end in disaster. Even the apology stage is ending in arguments. So I wouldn't go any further without sorting the apologies out first.

Sorry if this sounded preachy and condescending.