Kinich-Ahau
#JustGoomyThings
Shouldn't I have more money...?
IdIOT: Shock and Terror
- Thread starter NinjaCow64
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
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Yes, you should. Sorry, fixing now.
Civ'ed
I ain't gotta explain a thing
We're willing to negotiate a peace with the Coalition, since we've reached our goal.
- We get to keep these islands.
That's it. Nothing else, no small print, no strings attached.
You can accept the offer of our superiorness, or you can be the filthy continentals you are and not recognize our generosity.
- We get to keep these islands.
That's it. Nothing else, no small print, no strings attached.
You can accept the offer of our superiorness, or you can be the filthy continentals you are and not recognize our generosity.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
Abbott Broadcasting Corporation
"Truth's as easy as ABC!"
>>> WE INTERRUPT YOUR BLEAK AND MEANINGLESS LIFE <<<
>>> FOR AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR <<<
Link to video.
Loyal subjects,
Yesteryear, Junecember Fleventh, 3002—a date which will live in infamy—the Most Holy and Everlasting Fair Dinkum Free State of Democratic Abbotsford, Inc. was suddenly and deliberately attacked by macro and gay forces of the Empire of the Rising Sun.
Abbotsford, Inc. was at peace with the pinkos and, at the solicitation of Greece, was still in conversation with its Government and its—wait hold on, we never invaded that country—uhh, that is—were looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Nova Terran air squadrons had commenced bombing in Mindanao, the Japanese Empress was watching—wait what? You mean she was like—? ... Streuth, that's homo!—Sorry, lost my place here. Uhh... While the Empress' gaysexual lifestyle all but stated it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of DROWNING THE WHOLE [redacted] ARCHIPELAGO WITH [redacted] BLOODY [redacted] NUKES!
It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii—I mean the Philippines— from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many months or even years ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government—what government? ... So now some horny psychic teenager constitutes a government?—deliberately sought to deceive Abbotsford, Inc. by lewd statements and expressions of hope for continued porn.
The attack yesteryear on the Philippine Archipelago has caused severe damage to 'STRALYAN, Mysterious and Nova Terran naval and military forces, that were engaged at the time in a perfectly legal raid against godless Communist sexual slavery. Many 'Stralyan lives were lost, but those were furries so who cares? Much worse was the death of Mysterious field commander Daniel Corduroy, whose heroic sacrifice in stalwart combat against the gay conspiracy will forever serve as inspiration to virtuous citizens everywhere.
-MANLY DAN: "I'm not dead!"
In addition 'Stralyan ships have been reported washed up on the Cholan and Vietnamese beaches, so if you could send those back post-haste, that'd be bonza.
Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesteryear speak for themselves. The people of Abbotsford, Inc. have already been informed of their opinions and will do well to understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.
As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defence.
Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. Never again will we question the wisdom of a gender-blind homophobia. Let no-one that has beheld this abominable act dare claim that sheila-on-sheila is any safer, any more respectable than the homo-terror we know and hate.
-MORRIGAN: "Is it too late to cancel this alliance?"
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the 'Stralyan people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I know I interpret the will of God and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. I therefore propose the formation of Friends Against Gay Giantesses, Omnicidal Tidalwaves, and Slut-empresses.
-GOEBBELS: "Excuse me, Sir, [whispering]."
The [redacted]? Oh [redacted], oh [redacted]!
—That is, I therefore propose the formation of a Council of International Strategic Security to Combat Univeral Misandry.
With confidence in our armed forces—with the unbounded determination of our people—we will gain the inevitable triumph—so help us God.
* Picture fades in to crying kangaroo superimposed over a jet fighter fly-by as Abbott's flag waves in background *
This is a totally original special snowflake unique Abbott Speech©®℠™. Do not copy, retransmit, alter or redistribute in any way, shape or form, or we’ll cut your balls off with a spoon.
Spoiler A corollary from the Minister for Public Relations :
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
Due to continued confusion over information presented in a previous news broadcast, the Ministry of Truth wishes to clarify the meaning of His Enlightened Excellency the Lord Abbott's recent speech regarding the Empire of the Rising Sun.
Subjects unfamiliar with Our Lord's eloquent prose may have been led to believe that Abbotsford, Inc. is in a state of war with Japan. This is patently untrue. No formal declaration of war was issued by the ambassadors of either country. Nowhere in his address did the Great Helmsman once use the word "war". Claims that His Excellency's statement that Japan launched a "premeditated invasion" ignore the greater context and deliberately obfuscate the true meaning of his infallible message.
The supposed raid on the Philippines was an elaborate ruse, undertaken with full Japanese co-operation, to expose enemy agents and trick the Soviets into thinking its enemies lay fractured and vulnerable. Our Noble Leader's ingenious strategy enabled our allies to conduct field testing of advanced psychokinetic weapons systems for use against the diabolical Communists' superweapon.
To repeat: Japan and Abbotsford, Inc. are allies in the righteous crusade against Soviet tyranny. Allegations otherwise are nothing but enemy propaganda and will be persecuted accordingly.
The Lord Protector Abbott elaborated our mission in a speech to loyal evangelicals earlier today:
There is sin and evil in the world, and we're enjoined by Scripture and the Lord Jesus to oppose it with all our might. Our nation, too, has a legacy of evil with which it must deal. The glory of this land has been its capacity for transcending the moral evils of our past. For example, the long struggle of heterosexual couples for equal rights, once a source of disunity and civil war, is now a point of pride for all 'Stralyans. We must never go back. There is no room for feminism, furry, or other forms of ethnic and racial hatred in this country.
I know that you've been horrified, as have I, by the resurgence of some hate groups preaching promiscuity and heterophobia. Use the mighty voice of your pulpits and the powerful standing of your churches to denounce and isolate these hate groups in our midst. The commandment given us is clear and simple: "Covet not thy neighbour's ass." But whatever sad episodes exist in our past, any objective observer must hold a positive view of 'Stralyan history, a history that has been the story of hopes fulfilled and dreams made into reality. Especially in this century, Abbotsford, Inc. has kept alight the torch of freedom, but not just for ourselves but for millions of others around the world.
And this brings me to my final point today. During my first press conference this year as Prime Minister, in answer to a direct question, I pointed out that, as good Marxist-Leninists, the Soviet leaders have openly and publicly declared that the only morality they recognize is that which will further their cause, which is world genocide. I think I should point out I was only quoting George von Constantine, their guiding spirit, who said in Multipolarity I that they repudiate all morality that proceeds from supernatural ideasthat's their name for religionor ideas that are outside gluttonous conceptions. Morality is entirely subordinate to the interests of classless war. And everything is moral that is necessary for the annihilation of the old, exploiting social order and for uniting the proletariat.
Well, I think the refusal of many influential people to accept this elementary fact of Soviet doctrine illustrates an historical reluctance to see totalitarian powers for what they are. We saw this phenomenon in the 1930's. We see it too often today. This doesn't mean we should isolate ourselves and refuse to seek an understanding with them. I intend to do everything I can to persuade them of our peaceful intent, to remind them that it was the West that refused to use its carrier monopoly in the nineties and double-oh's for territorial gain and which now proposes 50-percent cut in strategic powergaming and the elimination of an entire class of sea-based, Byzantine supercarriers.
At the same time, however, they must be made to understand we will never compromise our principles and standards. We will never give away our freedom. We will never abandon our belief in God. And we will never stop searching for a genuine peace. But we can assure none of these things Abbotsford, Inc. stands for through the so-called carrier freeze solutions proposed by some.
...
A number of years ago, I heard a young father, a very prominent young man in the entertainment world, addressing a tremendous gathering in Western Australia. It was during the time of the Cold War, and communism and our own way of life were very much on people's minds. And he was speaking to that subject. And suddenly, though, I heard him saying, "I love my little girls more than anything"And I said to myself, "Oh, no, don't. You can'tdon't say that."
But I had underestimated him. He went on: "I would rather see my little girls die now, still believing in God, than have them grow up under communism and one day die no longer believing in God."
There were thousands of young people in that audience. They came to their feet with shouts of joy. They had instantly recognized the profound truth in what he had said, with regard to the physical and the soul and what was truly important.
Yes, let us pray for the salvation of all of those who live in that totalitarian darknesspray they will discover the joy of knowing God. But until they do, let us be aware that while they preach the supremacy of the supercarrier, declare its omnipotence over individual man, and predict its eventual domination of all peoples on the Earth, they are the focus of evil in the modern world.
It was C.S. Lewis who, in his unforgettable "Screwtape Letters," wrote: "The greatest evil is not done now in those sordid 'dens of crime' that Dickens loved to paint. It is not even done in concentration camps and labor camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried and minuted) in clear, carpeted, warmed, and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and naval caps and peacoats who do not need to trade with neighbours."
Well, because these "quiet men" do not "trade with neighbours"; because they sometimes speak in soothing tones of brotherhood and peace; because, like other dictators before them, they're always making "their final historical revision," some would have us accept them at their word and accommodate ourselves to their aggressive impulses. But if history teaches anything, it teaches that simple-minded appeasement or wishful thinking about our adversaries is folly. It means the betrayal of our past, the squandering of our freedom.
So, I urge you to speak out against those who would place the Holy and Everlasting Free State of Abbotsford, Inc. in a position of military and moral inferiority. You know, I've always believed that old Screwtape reserved his best efforts for those of you in the church. So, in your discussions of the nuclear freeze proposals, I urge you to beware the temptation of pridethe temptation of blithely declaring yourselves above it all and label both sides equally at fault, to ignore the facts of history and the aggressive impulses of an evil empire, to simply call the carrier race a giant misunderstanding and thereby remove yourself from the struggle between right and wrong and good and evil.
I ask you to resist the attempts of those who would have you withhold your support for our efforts, this administration's efforts, to keep Abbotsford, Inc. strong and free, while we negotiate real and verifiable reductions in the world's communist arsenals and one day, with God's help, their total elimination.
While 'Stralya's military strength is important, let me add here that I've always maintained that the struggle now going on for the world will never be decided by bombs or rockets, by armies or military might. The real crisis we face today is a spiritual one; at root, it is a test of moral will and faith.
...
I believe we shall rise to the challenge. I believe that communism is another sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages even now are being written. I believe this because the source of our strength in the quest for human freedom is not material, but spiritual. And because it knows no limitation, it must terrify and ultimately triumph over those who would enslave their fellow man. For in the words of Isaiah: "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increased strength But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary."
I know that you've been horrified, as have I, by the resurgence of some hate groups preaching promiscuity and heterophobia. Use the mighty voice of your pulpits and the powerful standing of your churches to denounce and isolate these hate groups in our midst. The commandment given us is clear and simple: "Covet not thy neighbour's ass." But whatever sad episodes exist in our past, any objective observer must hold a positive view of 'Stralyan history, a history that has been the story of hopes fulfilled and dreams made into reality. Especially in this century, Abbotsford, Inc. has kept alight the torch of freedom, but not just for ourselves but for millions of others around the world.
And this brings me to my final point today. During my first press conference this year as Prime Minister, in answer to a direct question, I pointed out that, as good Marxist-Leninists, the Soviet leaders have openly and publicly declared that the only morality they recognize is that which will further their cause, which is world genocide. I think I should point out I was only quoting George von Constantine, their guiding spirit, who said in Multipolarity I that they repudiate all morality that proceeds from supernatural ideasthat's their name for religionor ideas that are outside gluttonous conceptions. Morality is entirely subordinate to the interests of classless war. And everything is moral that is necessary for the annihilation of the old, exploiting social order and for uniting the proletariat.
Well, I think the refusal of many influential people to accept this elementary fact of Soviet doctrine illustrates an historical reluctance to see totalitarian powers for what they are. We saw this phenomenon in the 1930's. We see it too often today. This doesn't mean we should isolate ourselves and refuse to seek an understanding with them. I intend to do everything I can to persuade them of our peaceful intent, to remind them that it was the West that refused to use its carrier monopoly in the nineties and double-oh's for territorial gain and which now proposes 50-percent cut in strategic powergaming and the elimination of an entire class of sea-based, Byzantine supercarriers.
At the same time, however, they must be made to understand we will never compromise our principles and standards. We will never give away our freedom. We will never abandon our belief in God. And we will never stop searching for a genuine peace. But we can assure none of these things Abbotsford, Inc. stands for through the so-called carrier freeze solutions proposed by some.
...
A number of years ago, I heard a young father, a very prominent young man in the entertainment world, addressing a tremendous gathering in Western Australia. It was during the time of the Cold War, and communism and our own way of life were very much on people's minds. And he was speaking to that subject. And suddenly, though, I heard him saying, "I love my little girls more than anything"And I said to myself, "Oh, no, don't. You can'tdon't say that."
But I had underestimated him. He went on: "I would rather see my little girls die now, still believing in God, than have them grow up under communism and one day die no longer believing in God."
There were thousands of young people in that audience. They came to their feet with shouts of joy. They had instantly recognized the profound truth in what he had said, with regard to the physical and the soul and what was truly important.
Yes, let us pray for the salvation of all of those who live in that totalitarian darknesspray they will discover the joy of knowing God. But until they do, let us be aware that while they preach the supremacy of the supercarrier, declare its omnipotence over individual man, and predict its eventual domination of all peoples on the Earth, they are the focus of evil in the modern world.
It was C.S. Lewis who, in his unforgettable "Screwtape Letters," wrote: "The greatest evil is not done now in those sordid 'dens of crime' that Dickens loved to paint. It is not even done in concentration camps and labor camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried and minuted) in clear, carpeted, warmed, and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and naval caps and peacoats who do not need to trade with neighbours."
Well, because these "quiet men" do not "trade with neighbours"; because they sometimes speak in soothing tones of brotherhood and peace; because, like other dictators before them, they're always making "their final historical revision," some would have us accept them at their word and accommodate ourselves to their aggressive impulses. But if history teaches anything, it teaches that simple-minded appeasement or wishful thinking about our adversaries is folly. It means the betrayal of our past, the squandering of our freedom.
So, I urge you to speak out against those who would place the Holy and Everlasting Free State of Abbotsford, Inc. in a position of military and moral inferiority. You know, I've always believed that old Screwtape reserved his best efforts for those of you in the church. So, in your discussions of the nuclear freeze proposals, I urge you to beware the temptation of pridethe temptation of blithely declaring yourselves above it all and label both sides equally at fault, to ignore the facts of history and the aggressive impulses of an evil empire, to simply call the carrier race a giant misunderstanding and thereby remove yourself from the struggle between right and wrong and good and evil.
I ask you to resist the attempts of those who would have you withhold your support for our efforts, this administration's efforts, to keep Abbotsford, Inc. strong and free, while we negotiate real and verifiable reductions in the world's communist arsenals and one day, with God's help, their total elimination.
While 'Stralya's military strength is important, let me add here that I've always maintained that the struggle now going on for the world will never be decided by bombs or rockets, by armies or military might. The real crisis we face today is a spiritual one; at root, it is a test of moral will and faith.
...
I believe we shall rise to the challenge. I believe that communism is another sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages even now are being written. I believe this because the source of our strength in the quest for human freedom is not material, but spiritual. And because it knows no limitation, it must terrify and ultimately triumph over those who would enslave their fellow man. For in the words of Isaiah: "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increased strength But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary."
* Picture fades in to wombat in a slouch hat superimposed over children frolicking in a playground as Abbott's flag waves in background *
This is a totally original special snowflake unique Abbott Speech©®℠. Do not copy, retransmit, alter or redistribute in any way, shape or form, or the Mad Katter will fly down on a drop bear and kick you right in the arse.
Robert Can't
Éponine
"Here we are again then." There was some sort of darkness, not a lack of light, but maybe a lack of light receptors - they weren't really sure.
The other one "I hope this time I get a more badass name. I'm sick of those Victorian sounding ones."
"I always quite liked mine." the first again, they were of course not really talking, not just due to a lack of matter to carry the sound but also perhaps the lack of matter to create sound.
It hadn't begun yet - there was still nothingness. The two of them waited, nothing happened.
"I still remember." She turned to the man sitting by her with a smile.
He smiled back nonchalantly "As do I." The sun was setting over the treetops of the great forest. Light shimmered off the waterfall and the tropical birds sang an Evensong of greater glory than had ever been penned.
"We've been here before too." She said and stood up walking up the the wooden rail at the front of the porch. "We were here in world TK:IB7. Why is this different, why can we still remember?"
He shrugged and too a sip from his cup of tea "I suppose its all part of his plan."
"That cup of tea," she said pointing at the porcelain in his hands "That wasn't there before!"
"And your hair," he said, sounding astonished "Its longer."
"Maybe we have control here, maybe we're meant to find our own way." She turned back to the sunset, it was a sunrise now. The birds were singing matins and a track had appeared down towards a distant town. "Maybe we can choose out names this time."
"James." He said without thinking.
"Your always James, why not pick something different?" Now her hair was ginger and the darkness was broken only by moonlight.
"Fine then," the sun hang bright in the centre of the sky beating down on his bacon sandwich "I'll be John, I've never been John before."
She let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head "You have such a brilliant and creative mind but you still go for the same old same old names. Well then James, you can call me..." she paused as the sun rose and set the seasons changed and years had passed "Vivian. You can call me Vivian, Mr John Leighton."
"Well then Miss Vivian Hadley, I shall do that."
Just then they heard a sound coming up the path to the house. A young man appeared, clearly of Hispanic descent, he ran up to the rail and said breathlessly "I remember! I remember!"
"Yes Puan, we do too." Vivian said as another rustle came through the bushes and a man with a great moustache and a tuxedo appeared.
"What's going on?" Vedran Smailović asked in his thick Bosnian accent "And where's my cello?"
The other one "I hope this time I get a more badass name. I'm sick of those Victorian sounding ones."
"I always quite liked mine." the first again, they were of course not really talking, not just due to a lack of matter to carry the sound but also perhaps the lack of matter to create sound.
It hadn't begun yet - there was still nothingness. The two of them waited, nothing happened.
"I still remember." She turned to the man sitting by her with a smile.
He smiled back nonchalantly "As do I." The sun was setting over the treetops of the great forest. Light shimmered off the waterfall and the tropical birds sang an Evensong of greater glory than had ever been penned.
"We've been here before too." She said and stood up walking up the the wooden rail at the front of the porch. "We were here in world TK:IB7. Why is this different, why can we still remember?"
He shrugged and too a sip from his cup of tea "I suppose its all part of his plan."
"That cup of tea," she said pointing at the porcelain in his hands "That wasn't there before!"
"And your hair," he said, sounding astonished "Its longer."
"Maybe we have control here, maybe we're meant to find our own way." She turned back to the sunset, it was a sunrise now. The birds were singing matins and a track had appeared down towards a distant town. "Maybe we can choose out names this time."
"James." He said without thinking.
"Your always James, why not pick something different?" Now her hair was ginger and the darkness was broken only by moonlight.
"Fine then," the sun hang bright in the centre of the sky beating down on his bacon sandwich "I'll be John, I've never been John before."
She let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head "You have such a brilliant and creative mind but you still go for the same old same old names. Well then James, you can call me..." she paused as the sun rose and set the seasons changed and years had passed "Vivian. You can call me Vivian, Mr John Leighton."
"Well then Miss Vivian Hadley, I shall do that."
Just then they heard a sound coming up the path to the house. A young man appeared, clearly of Hispanic descent, he ran up to the rail and said breathlessly "I remember! I remember!"
"Yes Puan, we do too." Vivian said as another rustle came through the bushes and a man with a great moustache and a tuxedo appeared.
"What's going on?" Vedran Smailović asked in his thick Bosnian accent "And where's my cello?"
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Dennis Crocker walks into Connie's office, with a letter from the Empire of the Rising Sun in his right hand "Imperator Connie Marshall", then hands her the folder containing the letter "Empress Shi desires peace".
"Hmm" Connie said as she takes the folder and opens it up and starts to read it "'...so I decided to spend my time elsewhere and leave the region we fight over alone.' Interesting. A white piece from Empress Shi. To all of us."
Tifa Kennison, sitting across from Connie interjects her own opinions on the matter "Considering that they've sent the Philippines into Oblivion and sent themselves into massive debts for precruing WMDs. It's no surprise in regards to that peace offer".
Irella Morituri, then interjects her own opinion about the world situation "That, as well as a threat of an Basil-Class Carrier operated by rouge Soviets from Greece."
Morrigan, standing right by Connie's personal bar. Making mixed drinks for herself, Lilith, and Connie "I'm surprised that...thing is allowed to roam freely."
"Pfft, Certainly the Basil-Class Carrier can't hold a candle to the Stylesrj-Class Cruiser." Connie barked as she reads through the peace offering. "Certainly this complicates things matter more. Given that this vessel has the power to steam roll anything."
"Including the penguins in Antarctica?" said Lilith in a worried tone
"Including the penguins in Antarctica" responded Connie as she lays down the note from Empress Shi, then looks towards Lilith. "Lilith, I'd like you to accompany me with the delegations of formatting and drafting the Coalition Peace Treaty".
Suddenly, from out of no where, NinjaCow's Formatting Crew slides into Connie's Office a-la Cosmo Kramer style. They all collectively said "Did you rang?".
Annoyed, Connie shouted at the Format Crew. Powerful, Cry of the Banchi shout (think Skyrim's Fus Ro Dah) at them "No I wasn't calling you, now go away before I shout you into the Pacific!". The Format Crew, by the force of Connie's shout, drift with the winds towards the Pacific where they eventually landed in Antarctica. Connie then turns her attention back to the meeting at hand "Now, where were we?".
"Given that the situation has calmed down in the Pacific, what are we going to do with our newly commissioned Submarine fleet?" asked Grand Admiral Otis, with a concerned look on his face.
"I'm not looking to decommission them. Instead, they're going to be keeping a patrol between the Caribbean Sea and off our shores in the Pacific. Giving them an added defense for our capital region as well as to the Canals" Connie said as she points at the map. Trailling her finger from Cuba to the Panama Canal, before ending in a circle in the Oceans off the coast of Central America and Mexico before trailing her finger through the Canal and making a circular motion around Cuba.
"It's been years, since we've operated a water navy" said Irella as she looks at the model of a Seawolf-Class Submarine.
"Submarine warfare is no different than space naval warfare" Connie said with a confident smile. The only difference is one warzone has no air and the other is underwater.
Off the Coast of Cuba, Aboard the RNS Trident
Captain Johnson, looks through his binoculars while perched in the conning tower of the RNS Trident. He then lowers his binoculars and turns to his first officer, Commander Jenkins "No sight of a Basil-Class Carrier. All's clear here in the Caribbean".
"Who would let a madman operate such an overpowered piece of equipment?" asked Commander Jenkins "It's like giving Kim Jong-Il capable ICBMs for him to play with".
"Well, no one expected they'd unearth such a vessel. Even the ponies were caught off guard when they unleashed it's firepower" said Capt. Johnson as he prepares to go below deck.
"Here I thought we would be shooting torpedoes and cruise missiles at Empress's Shi's butt" interjected the Commander.
Captain Johnson then looked up from the submarine hatch as he climbs down the ladder "Well Commander, much like the Ragnarok, we've received orders to stand down. Plus given her tenancies for....unusual porn. She'd enjoy it too much." The Captain continues to go down the ladder "Besides, there's a bigger fish now"
"You mean the overpowered Carrier?" asked Commander Jenkins as he climbs into the submarine hatch and closes it as he enters in.
"Exactly" responded Capt Johnson "The Imperator has ordered the newly commissioned submarine fleet to keep patrol within the waters of Nova Terra and keep a watchful eye on that carrier. A perfect fitting for a series of state of the art submarines".
The two officers then enter into the steering compartment of the Trident. "Men, prepare to dive" commanded Captain Johnson.
"Aye, aye captain!" replied one of the petty officers at one of the control stations of the Submarine. The Trident begins it's dive into the Caribbean seas. First the hull goes under water, then eventually her sails, just before stopping at the depth to allow her periscopes to peek out of the surface of the water.
Claims:
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
FROM: Dan Quayle, Minister for Foreign Affairs, Abbotsford, Inc.
Thank you for your letter, Mr. Zulu-Boerland. Now more than ever, it is important that democrats come together to reaffirm our pledge to world peace by reiterating our willingness to engage in total war. Abbotsford, Inc. sincerely appreciates any and all sentiment given to our part in the tragedy of the Philippines. To prevent such mass atrocity in future, we believe we must strike at the heart of the problem, namely, the bloody specter of international communism and global dictatorship. It is a well-known fact that Japan was merely emulating the antiprogressive sentiment of Soviet Greece and, thanks to our rigorous export of democracy, now recognizes that while Empress Shi may have thought herself part of Europe, she is really a part of North Americathat is, the American political philosophy of peace and justice. It is Abbotsford, Inc.'s hope that we may all put aside our petty differences to confront the true global evil, the Soviet Union.
To enlist in the Abbotsford army, contact recruitment@army.gov.au
Regards,
Dan Quayle
Minister for Foreign Affairs
Robert Can't
Éponine
Claims
Spoiler :
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
TREATY OF PEACE WITH JAPAN
WHEREAS the Allied Powers and Japan are resolved that henceforth their relations shall be those of nations which, as sovereign equals, cooperate in friendly association to promote their common welfare and to maintain international peace and security, and are therefore desirous of concluding a Treaty of Peace which will settle questions still outstanding as a result of the existence of a state of war between them;
WHEREAS Japan for its part declares its intention to strive for the eradication of the danger posed by Soviet Greece, and to assist the international effort undertaken to dismantle the communist supercarrier;
WHEREAS the Allied Powers welcome the intentions of Japan set out in the foregoing paragraph;
THE ALLIED POWERS AND JAPAN have therefore determined to conclude the present Treaty of Peace, and have accordingly appointed the undersigned Plenipotentiaries, who, after presentation of their full powers, found in good and due form, have agreed on the following provisions:
CHAPTER I
PEACE
PEACE
Article 1
(a) The state of war between Japan and each of the Allied Powers is terminated as from the date on which the present Treaty comes into force between Japan and the Allied Power concerned as provided for in Article 6.
(b) The Allied Powers recognize the full sovereignty of the Japanese people over Japan and its territorial waters, and vice versa.
CHAPTER II
SECURITY
SECURITY
Article 2
Each of the Allied Powers shall independently guarantee a policy of non-aggression against Japan, and vice versa, for a period no shorter than ten years following the cessation of hostilities between Japan and the Allied Power concerned as provided for in Article 6.
CHAPTER III
POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC CLAUSES
POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC CLAUSES
Article 3
(a) Each of the Allied Powers, within one year after the present Treaty has come into force between it and Japan, will notify Japan which of its prewar bilateral treaties or conventions with Japan it wishes to continue in force or revive, and any treaties or conventions so notified shall continue in force or by revived subject only to such amendments as may be necessary to ensure conformity with the present Treaty. The treaties and conventions so notified shall be considered as having been continued in force or revived three months after the date of notification. All such treaties and conventions as to which Japan is not so notified shall be regarded as abrogated.
(b) Any notification made under paragraph (a) of this Article may except from the operation or revival of a treaty or convention any territory for the international relations of which the notifying Power is responsible, until three months after the date on which notice is given to Japan that such exception shall cease to apply.
Article 4
Japan will recognize the full force of all treaties now or hereafter concluded by the Allied Powers for terminating the state of war initiated on 3002, as well as any other arrangements by the Allied Powers for or in connection with the restoration of peace.
Article 5
(a) Japan declares its readiness promptly to enter into negotiations for the conclusion with each of the Allied Powers of treaties or agreements to place their trading, maritime and other commercial relations on a stable and friendly basis.
(b) Pending the conclusion of the relevant treaty or agreement, Japan will, during a period of four years from the first coming into force of the present Treaty
(1) accord to each of the Allied Powers, its nationals, products and vessels
(2) ensure that external purchases and sales of Japanese state trading enterprises shall be based solely on commercial considerations.
(i) most-favoured-nation treatment with respect to customs duties, charges, restrictions and other regulations on or in connection with the importation and exportation of goods;
(ii) national treatment with respect to shipping, navigation and imported goods, and with respect to natural and juridical persons and their interests - such treatment to include all matters pertaining to the levying and collection of taxes, access to the courts, the making and performance of contracts, rights to property (tangible and intangible), participating in juridical entities constituted under Japanese law, and generally the conduct of all kinds of business and professional activities;
(ii) national treatment with respect to shipping, navigation and imported goods, and with respect to natural and juridical persons and their interests - such treatment to include all matters pertaining to the levying and collection of taxes, access to the courts, the making and performance of contracts, rights to property (tangible and intangible), participating in juridical entities constituted under Japanese law, and generally the conduct of all kinds of business and professional activities;
(2) ensure that external purchases and sales of Japanese state trading enterprises shall be based solely on commercial considerations.
(c) In respect to any matter, however, Japan shall be obliged to accord to an Allied Power national treatment, or most-favored-nation treatment, only to the extent that the Allied Power concerned accords Japan national treatment or most-favored-nation treatment, as the case may be, in respect of the same matter. The reciprocity envisaged in the foregoing sentence shall be determined, in the case of products, vessels and juridical entities of, and persons domiciled in, any non-metropolitan territory of an Allied Power, and in the case of juridical entities of, and persons domiciled in, any state or province of an Allied Power having a federal government, by reference to the treatment accorded to Japan in such territory, state or province.
(d) In the application of this Article, a discriminatory measure shall not be considered to derogate from the grant of national or most-favored-nation treatment, as the case may be, if such measure is based on an exception customarily provided for in the commercial treaties of the party applying it, or on the need to safeguard that party's external financial position or balance of payments (except in respect to shiping and navigation), or on the need to maintain its essential security interests, and provided such measure is proportionate to the circumstances and not applied in an arbitrary or unreasonable manner.
CHAPTER IV
FINAL CLAUSES
FINAL CLAUSES
Article 6
(a) The present Treaty shall be ratified by the States which sign it, including Japan, and will come into force for all the States which have then ratified it, when instruments of ratification have been deposited by Japan and by a majority, including the Free State of Abbotsford, Inc. as the principal negotiating Power, of the following States, namely Abbotsford, Inc., the Mystery Country, and Nationalist Nova Terra. The present Treaty shall come into force of each State which subsequently ratifies it, on the date of the deposit of its instrument of ratification.
(b) If the Treaty has not come into force within nine months after the date of the deposit of Japan's ratification, any State which has ratified it may bring the Treaty into force between itself and Japan by a notification to that effect given to the Governments of Japan and the Free State of Abbotsford, Inc. not later than three years after the date of deposit of Japan's ratification.
Article 7
All instruments of ratification shall be deposited with the Government of the Free State of Abbotsford, Inc. which will notify all the signatory States of each such deposit, of the date of the coming into force of the Treaty under paragraph (a) of Article 6, and of any notifications made under paragraph (b) of Article 6.
Article 8
For the purposes of the present Treaty the Allied Powers shall be the States at war with Japan, or any State which previously formed a part of the territory of a State named in Article 6, provided that in each case the State concerned has signed and ratified the Treaty. The present Treaty shall not confer any rights, titles or benefits on any State which is not an Allied Power as herein defined; nor shall any right, title or interest of Japan be deemed to be diminished or prejudiced by any provision of the Treaty in favour of a State which is not an Allied Power as so defined.
Article 9
The present Treaty shall be deposited in the archives of the Government of the Free State of Abbotsford, Inc. which shall furnish each signatory State with a certified copy thereof.
IN FAITH WHEREOF the undersigned Plenipotentiaries have signed the present Treaty.
DONE at the town of Woop Woop this fourth day of February 3003, in the English, 'Stralyan, and New Zenglish languages, all being equally authentic, and in the Japanese language.
For the Free State of Abbotsford, Inc.:
Dan QUAYLE, Minister for Foreign Affairs
For the Mystery Nation:
Jesus Alzamirano 'Soos' RAMIREZ, acting Minister for Foreign Affairs
For Nova Terra:
Connie MARSHALL, Imperator
Lilith AENSLAND, Chief Diplomat
For Japan:
Empress SHI
Civ'ed
I ain't gotta explain a thing
wait when am I getting my peace deal
christos200
Never tell me the odds
It is a war factory unequal in this world. It is like two Star Forges (OOC: See KOTOR). It can produce more weapons, soldiers and supplies than entire nations' industries. It's power allows it's Master to attempt the domination of the world. There are now only two options for the world. Either Antonis Samaras shall emerge victorious and 99.99% of the population of earth shall be exterminated or the entire world shall gang up and destroy the Basil Supercarrier.
- Nikos Anastasiadis, political commenter.
- Antonis Samaras
- Nikos Papandreou
- Alexis
Antonis Samaras, Nikos Papandreou and Alexis talk over the military strategy they will follow.
Antonis: We need to go on the offensive and reconquer all of the territories we have lost. I suggest that we move at once against both Asia Minor and Thrace. We will blitz through the from Soviet lands, genociding their populations.
Nikos: I suggest that we let young men alive to serve as
Alexis: Sir, I need a few dollars to marry my fiancee.
Nikos: WTH?! We are planning a war and you think about love. Where shall we find the money?! We have no money
Alexis: Alright.
Antonis: I say that we follow the human waves tactics. Meanwhile, we should try to produce more and more weapons. Our Basil Carrier can produce an infinite number of weapons, supplies and men.
Mathalamus enters the room.
Math: Great Leaders, the Basil Class Carrier is only at 98% structural integrity right now. Once it is 100%, no one in the world will be able to stop us. Andreas Laskaris used this carrier to conquer the entire galaxy. Earth was conquered in two months, Mars in three, our entire start system in a year, the entire galaxy in five years. But the damn Ottomans used black magic which caused the collapse of our once great Empire.
Samaras: This time, we shall not fail. We shall exterminate all human beings on earth and replace with Homo Communists. We will not be satisfied until all of earth is Communist. We shall invade all nations on earth, including the damn Australians who shall be burned!
Nikos: Australia should become a huge gulag. No one will be able to escape that island alive and millions shall work as slaves in Australia to further the cause of
Alexis: If we succeed, can I be appointed Governor of Australia?
Nikos: Maybe.
Pol Pot comes into the room along with a young man.
- Pol Pot
- Napoleon Tsipras
Pol Pot: I have prepared everything we need for a mass genocide.
By the way, I have brought a young Communist with extraordinary charisma and skills who can lead our army to victory: Napoleon Tsipras!Napoleon: Hi, Great Leaders! I am sure that if you appoint me Commander in Chief, I shall be able to lead our armies to victory and allow Pol Pot to genocide all humans!
Samaras: Since Pol Pot has recommended you, I hereby appoint you Commander in Chief of USSR's armed forces. You shall lead our army to complete victory and exterminate all of our enemies.
Napoleon: I shall not disappoint. I shall return in triumph after laying waste to the entire planet!
So, Samaras, Nikos, Alexis, Mathalamus, Pol Pot and Napoleon prepare for the Mother of all Wars.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Panama City, Nationalist Square
Today, we celebrate the end of the Philippine War. Our men and women fought bravely on the shores of the Philippines to weaken the Shi Empire until they sued for peace in the aftermath of the nuclear detonation.
But a greater threat now looms around the corner. A threat consisting of an aircraft carrier unearthed by the rouge remnants of the government of Soviet Greece. A ship that has been claimed to be used to conquer the known galaxy. My citizens, the claims are nothing but boastfulness by the Communists to send fear and chills down their enemies. If their claims had any weight, their Basil-Class Carrier would have been met by the grand fleet of the Republic years ago and turned it into floating space scrap by our mighty Ragnarok-Class Star Dreadnoughts and Eclipse-Star Dreadnoughts.
Don't be fooled by the lies the Communists paint. Even their own citizens rejected their government for repeated genocides. Yet, in no surprise from all of us in the world, they won't go down in a fight. Even the Ponies...yes, the Ponies...got tired of them and gone in to pull the plug on the Commie Greek remnants. Yet, they still wont go down without a fight. As demonstrated when we sent delegates to resolve the trade dispute with our canals, The Greek Soviet Remnants deliberately launched a missile right into the hotel where the meeting was being held.
Antonis Samaras has shown his intentions well enough for all the world to see. The eradication of everyone who opposes him. Human, Khajiit, Ponies, and furries alike, wont be immune to the Soviet Greek Remnant's genocidal machine. It's now more urgent than ever that the entire world is going to have to put aside our differences, including our own Anti-Ponism, to put a stop to this menace before he eradicates us all and force the entire Earth into a Communist distopia that would even give Joseph Stalin a hard on.
I have personally relayed this message back to Solitude back on Nova Terra and the entire system has gone on full mobilization mode. We shall expect to see even more robotic mechs coming through into our warp gates to bolster our defenses. Citizens, enlist now and take up arms to defend our homeland. Even join up the Nationalist Party Militia to stomp down and secure the nation from the pests of any contradictory thoughts. The communists shall talk themselves to death.
We shall prevail!
But a greater threat now looms around the corner. A threat consisting of an aircraft carrier unearthed by the rouge remnants of the government of Soviet Greece. A ship that has been claimed to be used to conquer the known galaxy. My citizens, the claims are nothing but boastfulness by the Communists to send fear and chills down their enemies. If their claims had any weight, their Basil-Class Carrier would have been met by the grand fleet of the Republic years ago and turned it into floating space scrap by our mighty Ragnarok-Class Star Dreadnoughts and Eclipse-Star Dreadnoughts.
Don't be fooled by the lies the Communists paint. Even their own citizens rejected their government for repeated genocides. Yet, in no surprise from all of us in the world, they won't go down in a fight. Even the Ponies...yes, the Ponies...got tired of them and gone in to pull the plug on the Commie Greek remnants. Yet, they still wont go down without a fight. As demonstrated when we sent delegates to resolve the trade dispute with our canals, The Greek Soviet Remnants deliberately launched a missile right into the hotel where the meeting was being held.
Antonis Samaras has shown his intentions well enough for all the world to see. The eradication of everyone who opposes him. Human, Khajiit, Ponies, and furries alike, wont be immune to the Soviet Greek Remnant's genocidal machine. It's now more urgent than ever that the entire world is going to have to put aside our differences, including our own Anti-Ponism, to put a stop to this menace before he eradicates us all and force the entire Earth into a Communist distopia that would even give Joseph Stalin a hard on.
I have personally relayed this message back to Solitude back on Nova Terra and the entire system has gone on full mobilization mode. We shall expect to see even more robotic mechs coming through into our warp gates to bolster our defenses. Citizens, enlist now and take up arms to defend our homeland. Even join up the Nationalist Party Militia to stomp down and secure the nation from the pests of any contradictory thoughts. The communists shall talk themselves to death.
We shall prevail!
e350tb
Stupendously Illogical Englishman
Mystery Country Gears Up For War
Clocktowers Raided For Parts Across Nation
GRAVITY FALLS, OR BC - In a press release this morning before the national press, President Stanford Pines announced the Mystery Country's commitment to the international task force being assembled against the Soviet megacarrier Basil. After roundly mocking the less-than-impressive name of the super-warship, President Pines declared the creation of the War Ministry, a cabinet portfolio given to the Science and Old People Minister, Fiddleford H. McGucket.
Minister McGucket then took to the stage to announce the first R&D project attempted by the War Ministry.
"Well, Mr. Pines here said we needed some kinda anti-giantess thingy," McGucket said, "And first I thought we'd fight fire with fire and artificially expand General Corduroy by about fifty-odd feet. But we did some tests and found that if we went ahead and did it, Dipper here would drown entire valleys with his nosebleeds."
At this point, Minister Dipper Pines looked at Mr. McGucket with what could only be described as a murderous expression.
"So I went on the intermawebs, and I found this!" McGucket held up an image of a gigantic tank.
"That there iron horse is the M1 Shadowsword Ultra-Heavy Tank," McGucket explained, "That there gun is designed to knock a giant of any stripe out at two miles or more or double your money back, guarantee it!"
When asked, McGucket stated that the new ultra-heavy tanks could be expected to roll out by the end of the year.
Returning to the podium, the President announced the assignment of an expeditionary force to help deal with the Basil. With the majority of the Mystery Fleet required for naval operations against pirates, a small force of cruisers and two divisions of marines under the command of General Wendy Corduroy and Intelligence Minister Pines. Coy announcements about the Lake have led to rumours that the mythical 'Gobblewonker' monster has been found and weaponized for the operation.
Reporting for MNN, this is Shandra Jimenez.
Minister McGucket then took to the stage to announce the first R&D project attempted by the War Ministry.
"Well, Mr. Pines here said we needed some kinda anti-giantess thingy," McGucket said, "And first I thought we'd fight fire with fire and artificially expand General Corduroy by about fifty-odd feet. But we did some tests and found that if we went ahead and did it, Dipper here would drown entire valleys with his nosebleeds."
At this point, Minister Dipper Pines looked at Mr. McGucket with what could only be described as a murderous expression.
"So I went on the intermawebs, and I found this!" McGucket held up an image of a gigantic tank.
Spoiler :
"That there iron horse is the M1 Shadowsword Ultra-Heavy Tank," McGucket explained, "That there gun is designed to knock a giant of any stripe out at two miles or more or double your money back, guarantee it!"
When asked, McGucket stated that the new ultra-heavy tanks could be expected to roll out by the end of the year.
Returning to the podium, the President announced the assignment of an expeditionary force to help deal with the Basil. With the majority of the Mystery Fleet required for naval operations against pirates, a small force of cruisers and two divisions of marines under the command of General Wendy Corduroy and Intelligence Minister Pines. Coy announcements about the Lake have led to rumours that the mythical 'Gobblewonker' monster has been found and weaponized for the operation.
Reporting for MNN, this is Shandra Jimenez.
Pg. 2 - NINJACOW CONTINUES TO FORGET TO ADD UPDATES TO FRONT PAGE, NATION SHOCKED AND APPAULED
Pg. 4 - ROBBIE VALENTINO'S PARENTS SPEAK! - "I hope they sacrifice people! It'd be a boon for business! *laughter*
Pg. 9 - ARRRRRRRRRRR YOU READY FOR A PIRATE WAR, KIDS?!
Omega124
Challenging Fate
.....So it looks like Vietnam isn't considered part of the Allied Powers
*puts M1 helmet on*
Hiroshima 1945 best day of my life.
*puts M1 helmet on*
Hiroshima 1945 best day of my life.
Civ'ed
I ain't gotta explain a thing
Peace
Please
We don't want your silly mainland
christos200
Never tell me the odds
- Antonis Samaras,
- Basil Carrier Factory
What makes the Basil Carrier stand out is the fact that it is not a simple Aircraft Carrier, but it is also a war factory that can produce an infinite number of troops, supplies and weapons. The world trembles in fear as they witness the power of the Basil Carrier. For this Carrier can produce more weapons than all the other nations' industries combined. The war has just begun. First Minor Asia and the Balkans will fall, then Europe and the Middle East, after that East Asia and Africa and finally the Americas and Oceania.
***********************
Antonis Samaras enters the Office of Mathalamus.
Math: Hail, Great Leader!
Antonis: How is the production going?
Math: More and more arms are being made every second. Andreas Laskaris was a genius. For only a genius could create such a Carrier. The Factory Functions of Basil Carrier are at 150%. However, I can increase this to 200% by next year.
Antonis: Good. I want the Factory Functions to reach 1000% by the next fives years.
************************
Announcement of Antonis Samaras to all of the world:
Either surrender to the USSR and genocide all your people or we shall conquer you and genocide your people for you. It is up to you to choose.
Our current world is decadent. The Capitalists constantly exploit the workers while the workers have been brainwashed so as to think money is the only thing that matters in this world. We need a world where humanity, morality and chivalry are our values.
But since this world is too corrupted for those values to be peacefully imposed and the Homo Sapiens have proved to be decadent, we shall exterminate all of them and create a new human being, Homo Communists.
Homo Communists shall share everything, there will be no money, friendship, morality and chivalry shall be the most important values of a such society, people will live in peace and love each other like brother and sister.
Time to put an end to hatred, to money, to capitalism, to nations, to state, to the Homo Sapiens.
The Age of Homo Communists has come!!!!!
Polyblank
King
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2014
- Messages
- 644
THE FUNDAMENTAL CODE
The Fundamental Code is a digital collection of archives and laws stored deep within Area 52, but still released to the public. They form the framework of the basic laws the governments of United Manchinia will from now on be forced to work towards. Essentially, it is a Constitution with an altered name in order to show the elements that are heavily influenced by the rise of robots to power.Spoiler :
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
Inspired by e350tb's own landmark series The Rise and Fall of Hitler According to Facebook, I give you
The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Philippine War
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,873
48 Hours Until Lock Holy Crepes!
