SHEKELS OF DOVID, PART 3
((WARNING: This part is not suited for those plebs who haven't got degrees in physics,biology,chemistry,maths,history,linguistics,engineering and PHDs in quantum physics,nuclear physics, quantified computational chemistry, geometrical topology, micro - electronics engineering, statistics, nanotechnology, genetic engineering, network data, big data analysis, applied maths, complexity sciences, bioelectromagnetism, actuarial science, astrophysics, molecular biology, philosophy, text simplification, cognitive science of language, translating and interpreting, sociolinguistics, mechanistic biology, computational approaches in translational science, research of RNA polymerases, agrochemistry, biophysics, european civilisation and also do not have an IQ of 230 human points and also don't have mastery over at the very least 40 earthling languages with their respective dialects and 5 languages of the Milky Way galaxy, as per "That stereotypical sci - fi Science character" protocol))
"Have you had any luck with this one?" Asked Mckay.
"No, not really. I have been trying this account named Civ'ed, a recurring one in the Von IOT Family encrypted archives, but so far, no luck. I have tried everything I can come up with, "Dutchmania", "killbelgium2015", "leodinbelief", but so far, I have had no results. In fact, it seems that the encrypted files have a defence mechanism against intruders, which means that I have only 2 tries left, and I don't want to see what it will do. I suspect a polynomial algebraic function mapped out into a system of parallel vector points is at play here regarding the algorithm." answered Dr. Carter.
"Hmm, but are you sure it's not a quantumised Z - field imprinted upon the 5th string super symmetrical G dimension after a dilation on the wavelength of the time - space continuum, which would imply that bosons and gravitons are interacting with WIMPs, and as such cause a reversal of the polarity on the neutron flow?" answered Dr. Mckay.
"Come to think of it, I have actually come to the conclusion that we are facing an archive coming from a supercomputer combining the capabilities of a biological and an optical computer, as such having the capability of forming its own intelligence. Hence the incomprehensible names and their relative distance from the happenings of the real world. This also explains why on digital computers like ours they can not work properly, such as having no new posts or having their plans called "IOTs" abruptly halted." Explained Dr. Carter.
"No no no, that is definetely not the optimal explanation. Rather, I believe that we are facing a successful 2 - dimensional Mobius Strip, as such creating a sub - set dimension originating from the pulsating black hole occuring from this event and the induced Hawkins radiation, which would also cause a further degeneration of the replicator Y chromosome and explain why the user is given 5 tries." said Mckay.
"Or it could be just a normal archive from a normal computer" said a familliar voice.
It was that of Colonel Jack O' Neill, who so frequently changed titles that everyone simply called him O' Neill.
"But that is impossible. If everything was normal in here, this could not constitute as an awesome science fiction show!" explained Dr. Mckay.
"You should respect the 4th wall more. Besides, do you want our audience to feel headaches?" asked O' Neill. "Indeed", a voice could be heard from the vast depths of the Bunker's halls.
"That is not possible. I am beaming up to the USS Daedalus in order to use its supercomputers to my convulted scheme of proving you wrong, despite the fact that it propably has better things to do, like exploring space. After all, this is a bad plot, might as well use it to my avail!" replied Mckay, before being beamed up into the Daedalus.
"Here, give the terminal to me" Said O'Neill to Carter.
"Are you sure? Even I could not break into it." Said the suprised Carter.
"Don't sweat about it Carter. Nothing can possibly go wrong." Said O'Neill in a relaxed way.
After being given the terminal, O'Neill was furiously typing things. Carter was unaware of what he was doing, but perhaps so was O'Neill. With a smile on his face, he gave the terminal back to Carter. After looking at the screen, O'Neill explained that he had an account on the Paradox Forums despite being part of a technically secret organisation. Carter was dumbfounded, as she also had an account on the Paradox Forums. A true paradox indeed.
"With all due respect sir, those are not the correct forums." Replied Carter.
"Oh. Perhaps I should return to my military duties then.." Said O'Neill while leaving.
Carter was given 2 more chances in order to crack into an account. However, these accounts were so strange and unfamilliar, except from one. He was called NinjaCow64, and he lived in Australia. With hesitation, she clicked typed the username, and used the "Abbortallhope" phrase on the password field. This allowed her to enter.
She was actually familliar with the idea behind NinjaCow. As a member of a US secret organisation, she had access to other secret organisations. NinjaCow was part of the "Abbortallhope" project, the creation of the perfect spy through genetic modification that would infiltrate and destroy a government that was against that of the US. Unfortunately, the first subject turned into a mad ninja cow, or also known as an Australian, and the project was stopped, as the US could only infiltrate Australia with the biological techniques of the time. The subjects had a genetic memory imprinted on the subconscious like that of the Goa'uld regarding the program, and that is how Carter managed to get into the account.
"And this is what pretty much happened" said Carter to Landry, now back in the past.
"That is most interesting Dr. Carter, but can you explain why one year has passed and we are still here?" asked Landry. "Also, where the hell did Dr. Jackson go?" he asked again, noticing that Jackson had left the room.
"Uhh, sir, I don't really know to be honest." Replied Carter.
"Stop what you are all doing now. I have the solution to our problems." Said enthusiastically Jackson as he entered the room. "Also, you have been pretty much been standing there for a year." he explained.
