"Like night and day, I harbor both innocence and guilt in my heart.
I am neither a Demon, nor is my goal to rid these lands of the venerable King Exar. In my heart, I feel I am an innocent man, and yet, my heart also hides darker impulses. Guilty thoughts.
I have been hinting this all along, and I have not exactly hidden what I am, from any of you. I just haven't stated it outright.
Look back to my words regarding "guilty thoughts".
Guilty thoughts are what make life worth living, after all.
A vampire lives for the Night, we do not fear the Night like mortals do. This is when we thrive.
And yet, total darkness is not what we aspire to. Even a vampire longs for the warm glow of the fire, the soft flickering flame of the candle in the bedchamber.
Fire and sunlight are natural enemies to vampires. In fact, if you wanted to kill a vampire, I'd suggest you use such methods.
And yet, to be completely without the heat, and the light, that is not what a vampire is about.
The sun is too bright for me, and yet I admire it. Its splendor, its beauty, its life-giving force. Even to someone like me, the sun is magnificent.
And yet, it is dangerous to me, and has no love for me in return.
Such is the love that is burning deep within my heart. For I deeply, and truly love someone here in this very Council, who I know will never, ever, ever return my feelings.
This mortal would never give up his life to become an immortal vampire with me. This mortal would actually recoil at the thought of me touching him. And I refuse, utterly refuse to harm him in any way.
Though I long for the splendid taste of his blood, though I yearn for his strong embrace, there is literally nothing I can ever do which will make this mortal feel for me the way I feel for him. I cannot bribe him with my riches, I cannot tempt him with powers. I could not even promise him his own Kingdom, his heart is too pure.
He is too good for me. This much, I know.
This brave, magnificent, beautiful being, is beyond all possession. He is more than I can ever hope for, and if I were to get too close, I know, that I would damage our friendship. And that is all we can ever hope to be. Colleagues, perhaps, friends.
I will never harm this man. And I dearly and truly hope that this Council in its wisdom never sees fit to harm this man. And I truly and deeply hope that no one here, mortal, immortal, or from realms beyond, would ever think of harming my beloved.
If that should happen, I lose everything.
My immortal heart will break, and remain broken, for as long as I exist. That is when the Demons will have truly broken me.
I admit, I have a sense of duty to my country, and loyalty to King Exar, and I truly hope for good things to happen for every single member of this council who keeps him safe.
And I hope the Demons are slain before they ever harm him. And I am trying with all my might, and all my talents, to make that happen.
But if I should fail, and if you, my friends in this council should fail, and the Demons consume Catharsis in flame, then I will be broken beyond repair.
I have only one other desire in my heart, and I have not even begun to pursue it properly. That's why the Ljolsalfar have not tasted my wrath.
I honestly have no wish to harm them. I want to help them, in whatever way I can.
To preserve the peace. To strengthen us all. To stop the infighting.
Ultimately, to pull us all together, to save our nations, to stop the Demons before they can harm the one thing that matters most to me, which is my sweet Prince.
The Usurpers, I don't know much about them but I believe that they, unlike me, can turn mortals into vampires, and that is how they might spread their contagion.
I do not have that ability.
My ability is the exquisite taste, one only someone such as I would possess. I can taste things that no one else can. I am unique in my abilities to hunt Demons.
My heart is just not in the turning of mortals into vampires.
I cannot give myself to others like that.
My heart belongs to Catharsis. I have no desire to create an army of vampire followers.
I only want one convert, and it pains me deeply to know that I can never, ever have him.
But, like the sun, like the stars in my night, I will admire his beauty from afar.
And I vow, that I will do everything in my power to stop the Demons from harming him.
And, in turn, the rest of you.
My priority is my beautiful prince, but the only guilty thoughts I have in my mind are of him.
I am no Demon. I am no Usurper.
I only ever had one hidden objective, and I never even tried to make it hidden.
My unrequited love.... Catharsis.... I'm sorry if this embarrasses you.
I will keep my distance.
I would have given you the world, and more.
But, I would also die for you.
If you wish it, so shall it be."
