Random Raves XXIII: Everything went better than expected

[Dachs]

Die Another Day was the only bad Brosnan Bond movie. Tomorrow Never Dies and The World Is Not Enough only seem mediocre by comparison to GoldenEye; look at almost any of the Roger Moore movies and you'll soon rediscover a taste for Brosnan.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Nope, they were all terrible after Goldeneye. I'm fond of Moore, if only because he did Moonraker, and that one had freakin space shuttles and laser battles!

 

[Dachs]

Moonraker was one of the worst Bond movies ever, an awful attempt to appeal to the science fiction crowd with mediocre special effects. Bringing back Jaws was stupid, as was everything else in the Jaws plot. The cast was mediocre. The humor was awful as only out-of-touch British people in the 1970s could make it. And Roger Moore is still the third worst James Bond ever (behind David Niven and George Lazenby).

 

[salty mud]

NEVER RECEIVING VOTES: On Her Majesty's Secret Service

What's so bad about this one?

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Moonraker was one of the worst Bond movies ever, an awful attempt to appeal to the science fiction crowd with mediocre special effects. Bringing back Jaws was stupid, as was everything else in the Jaws plot. The cast was mediocre. The humor was awful as only out-of-touch British people in the 1970s could make it. And Roger Moore is still the third worst James Bond ever (behind David Niven and George Lazenby).

Space shuttles and laser battles == awesome movie. Case closed

 

[Dachs]

What's so bad about this one?

George Lazenby. They got the Marlboro Man to play James Bond and it showed in his acting chops, or lack thereof. The movie also had painfully little going on because of the romance plot between Bond and Tracy, which made the movie seem like it was trying to be two things at once without doing either one particularly well.

The sole redeeming feature of the movie was the proliferation of the "angels of death" at Piz Gloria, because lots of hot women are, well, lots of hot women.

Also, I really, really didn't buy Telly Savalas as Blofeld.

Space shuttles and laser battles == awesome movie. Case closed

Nah. Even if it theoretically could've been awesome - something I would dispute - they screwed it up.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Nah. Even if it theoretically could've been awesome - something I would dispute - they screwed it up.

Nope, it was the best. They even shot down a satellite.

Edit: was that the one where they shot down the satellite. They chased it as it de-orbited? Or was it a missile with bio weapons or something? Or am I talking about the wrong movie?

 

[Dachs]

Nope, it was the best. They even shot down a satellite.

Look, I'm completely willing to overlook a bad plot and bad writing and bad acting and the presence of Roger Moore for the sake of cool stuff and hot women. (See Exhibit A: The Spy Who Loved Me, a movie that kinda blew but was totally redeemed by Barbara Bach, Caroline Munro, and that awesome battle for control of the Liparus.) The problem is that Moonraker's cool stuff wasn't that cool and it almost completely lacked hot women.

EDIT: It was that bio-weapon thing made from the Amazonian plants in that Venetian glass factory that they shot down.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

The problem is that Moonraker's cool stuff wasn't that cool and it almost completely lacked hot women.

It did lack the hot women, if only they'd redo it with the chick from Casino Royale. But for a space nut, it was tops.

Edit: Would you pay to see a redo with the hot chick from Casino Royale?

 

[Dachs]

It did lack the hot women, if only they'd redo it with the chick from Casino Royale. But for a space nut, it was tops.

Edit: Would you pay to see a redo with the hot chick from Casino Royale?

I'd pay to see any new James Bond movie. I think it'd be pretty awful, though, since the plot would be, if anything, even worse today. It doesn't fit the aesthetic of Craig's Bond at all.

Which hot chick are you talking about, though? Eva Green or Caterina Murino?

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I'd pay to see any new James Bond movie. I think it'd be pretty awful, though, since the plot would be, if anything, even worse today. It doesn't fit the aesthetic of Craig's Bond at all.

Which hot chick are you talking about, though? Eva Green or Caterina Murino?

Eva Green. She's hot enough I didn't even notice any other hot chicks in the movie. If they did redo it, it would have to be a reboot-style movie. Which isn't going to happen.

But, in a few years when the first astronauts start arriving at asteroids and mining them, maybe they'll be enough appettite for such a movie they'll think about it. Not holding my breath.

 

[NickyJ]

After having a nice, hard days work hauling tree branches, pink lemonade really hits you hard. And when I say "hit", I mean "rock 'em, sock 'em, rearrange-your-nose-to-the-side-of-your-head" hit.

 

[W|M]

I don't even want to know what happens when you start drinking alcohol.




Actually wait, yes I do.

 

[Save_Ferris]

I've only seen parts of Moonraker and The World is Not Enough. They were okay, but I'm sure if I saw a better one I'd have more interest in the Bond movies.

 

[NickyJ]

A chicken-free chatroom! It's free of smelly, greasy chickens!


Link to video.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

Moonraker was one of the worst Bond movies ever, an awful attempt to appeal to the science fiction crowd with mediocre special effects. Bringing back Jaws was stupid, as was everything else in the Jaws plot. The cast was mediocre. The humor was awful as only out-of-touch British people in the 1970s could make it. And Roger Moore is still the third worst James Bond ever (behind David Niven and George Lazenby).

This is entirely accurate. Hell it doesn't even seem like a Bond movie, more a parody.

And the less said about Jaws falling for the girl with braces the better. And that final line where Bond is in bed with the chick up in space and the Brit back on earth says "I think he's attempting re-entry" or words to that effect. Utter crap.

 

[Ajidica]

I don't even want to know what happens when you start drinking alcohol.




Actually wait, yes I do.

You aren't alone.

 

[ZeletDude]

I am now in California, . Tomorrow I will be driving from Sonoma to San Bernadino with my cousin's to watch our other cousin's regionals little league game.

 

[BvBPL]

I've just been accepted to law school.

 

[choxorn]

My condolences.