Roll to Dodge: Random Mayhem!

[W|M]

I build a HUGE trebuchet.

 

[Omega124]

HELP! I call the A.U.S.D.S. to kjill the Drill Seargent.

Meanwhile, Patton's Tanks are to dig down in defence inside the city, and stay there untikl attacked.

 

[mythmonster2]

Hunt for food.

 

[Link]

I eat the ring.

 

[civplayah]

I dig with my hands.

 

[rhawn]

I roll into the crowd of pirates and snake strike one in the abdomen and grab a piece of small intestine and quickly snag 2 peglegs and construct an improvised nunchuku.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I recruit a Red Army Squadron.

3 You can't seem to find one, but you do find a squad of communist hating rebels who promptly fire on you.
ROLL TO DODGE! 18 You dodge there bullets and spray your two AK-47s at them killing all but one.

I go to the closest place with a nuclear reactor.

10 You get lost and end up at a Gas Station.

I turn Seon's water into Diet Mountain Dew.

18 You replace his water with Diet Mountain Dew, you now have his

kill zie jews

5 You can't find any, and furthermore angels come down and prepare to smite you.

I combine my two lucky items to get a permanant +2 to all rolls

13 You succesfully do so, it will now randomly boost your roll from 1-3

i nibble

7 You choke on what you nibble on for 5 Damage

I build a HUGE trebuchet.

18 You succesfully build a trebuchet capable of throwing an elephant a couple hundred feet.

HELP! I call the A.U.S.D.S. to kjill the Drill Seargent.

Meanwhile, Patton's Tanks are to dig down in defence inside the city, and stay there untikl attacked.

7 The Drill Seregent has dug in and is unable to shoot, Patton's Tanks can't find a good defensive position.

Hunt for food.

16 You find big deer for woman cook

I eat the ring.

16 You succesfully eat it you can still use it but it will be harder for the minions of the Dark Overlord to extract.

I dig with my hands.

13 Your hands are dirty but you increase the defense bonus by 5%

I roll into the crowd of pirates and snake strike one in the abdomen and grab a piece of small intestine and quickly snag 2 peglegs and construct an improvised nunchuku.

8 You hit the pirate in the abdomen but fail to make a nunchuku.



Chuck Norris continues fighting rhawn.
ROLL TO DODGE! 19 You dodge his roundhouse kick sending him flying on his bum, you then deliver one heckuva chop to his chest 30 Damage.
The Pirates and Ninjas continue there full scale war.
The US Army has arrived.
The A.U.S.D.S. Platoon is awaiting orders.
The Tank platoon is awaiting orders
The Drill Sergent joins his troops.
The Police continue there investigation of the large explosion of the fuel tank.
Uncle Vinny has set up shop in town. He calls "His People" from the old country.
The mysterious black rider rides toward link.
The Radioactive Monkey and Jar-Jar fight to the death, the radioactive monkey wins.

 

[NedimNapoleon]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein go to zie alps and build a palace to rest in

 

[!!!!!]

i keep nibbling

 

[Abaddon]

I find a suit of armour

 

[W|M]

I fire the loaded trebuchet at the pirate base.

 

[rhawn]

I leap high into the air and kick the incoming elephant (or rock/projectile etc), redirecting its trajectory into the prone Chuck Norris.

 

[Omega124]

AUSDS and the Tanks are to fire at will at the 'mericans

I go to a hospital to get my hands checked

EDIT: You know, I'm supposed to be Huey Long.

 

[Link]

I appeal to the AUSDS to kill the mysterious rider.

 

[civplayah]

Further!!!

 

[mythmonster2]

Find woman.

 

[GhostWriter16]

I find a beautiful woman.

 

[Darth Caesar]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein go to zie alps and build a palace to rest in

8 Angels block your way and zap you with a small angelic electric zap for 5 Damage.

i keep nibbling

7 What your nibbling is so disgusting that you spit it out in a coughing fit. Your sad cause of this( causing -1 to future rolls) and will continue to be sad until you get cheered up

I find a suit of armour

2 (4) You try to steal the armor of a medieval knight, unfortunately he doesn't like that idea and decides to attack you.
ROLL TO DODGE! 2 He hits you with his sword chopping off three fingers on your right hand and causing you to bleed heavily, you have taken 30 Damage and will continue to bleed for 10 Damage until you get medical help.

I fire the loaded trebuchet at the pirate base.

13 You fire at their ship causing damage and knocking out a few cannons.

I leap high into the air and kick the incoming elephant (or rock/projectile etc), redirecting its trajectory into the prone Chuck Norris.

13 You hurl it at Chuck Norris who it just grazes for 2 Damage.

AUSDS and the Tanks are to fire at will at the 'mericans

I go to a hospital to get my hands checked

EDIT: You know, I'm supposed to be Huey Long.

17 The first battle of the Second Civil War had begun! Your hand is fixed but the doctor mistakedly injected some unknow serum into your arm to give superstrength (only in right arm).

I appeal to the AUSDS to kill the mysterious rider.

4 They shoot at you instead.
ROLL TO DODGE! 7 You are hit by them taking 15 Damage and somehow causing you to regurgitate the ring.

Further!!!

15 You find a subteranean city complete with a Disco Parlor.

Find woman.

3 You find one but it's a mother tiger
ROLL TO DODGE! 1 It chews your left hand off for 25 Damage, you are now bleeding for 10 Damage a turn until you find a doctor.

I find a beautiful woman.

5 Find Beutiful Woman. You find one but she is offended by you and slaps you very hard sending you falling to the ground and on a porcupine for 20 Damage.



Chuck Norris continues fighting rhawn.
ROLL TO DODGE! 5 A roundhouse kick delivers extreme damage (30)
The Pirates and Ninjas continue there full scale war.
The US Army is battling.
The A.U.S.D.S. Platoon is battling.
The Tank platoon is battling.
The Drill Sergent is absorbed into his troops.
The Police work there way over to Dommy.
Uncle Vinny's "people" have arrived
The mysterious black retrieves the ring from link and carries him off to where he came from.
The Radioactive Monkey is eating radioactive bananas.

 

[civplayah]

I stop to get some food and stuff. I'm hungry.

 

[NedimNapoleon]

Why ist dis happening to zie Fuhrer why why why! I take zie zyklon B nerve gas, Ja, und put it in every Jew inhabited place und let it go and try to kill zie Jews