[RD] Ask a Schizoaffective.

I had a reaction to a medication that gave me pretty severe auditory and visual hallucinations when I was still in grade school. Mine was only temporary and actually immunized me against any desire to do drugs when I was older so :lol:

I sympathize man. This was a brave thread to make.

Tell me, are you good at seeing patterns? I've always heard that those puzzles where they only show like 2% of a picture are best solved by people with schizophrenic traits.
 
I had a reaction to a medication that gave me pretty severe auditory and visual hallucinations when I was still in grade school. Mine was only temporary and actually immunized me against any desire to do drugs when I was older so :lol:

I sympathize man. This was a brave thread to make.

Tell me, are you good at seeing patterns? I've always heard that those puzzles where they only show like 2% of a picture are best solved by people with schizophrenic traits.

I've never seen such a puzzle. Care to provide any examples?
 
I've never seen such a puzzle. Care to provide any examples?

I can't seem to find it. Perhaps I am misremembering.

The closest thing I found was this.

What I seem to recall is it was just some dots, but they were part of an image of a $1 bill. Schizophrenics could identify the image when it was 2% ( or something tiny ) filled in, but most people couldn't until it was half/quarter/etc filled in. It was something like that I think.
 
I can't seem to find it. Perhaps I am misremembering.

The closest thing I found was this.

What I seem to recall is it was just some dots, but they were part of an image of a $1 bill. Schizophrenics could identify the image when it was 2% ( or something tiny ) filled in, but most people couldn't until it was half/quarter/etc filled in. It was something like that I think.

The picture of the mask in that link appeared to me to be the front of the mask, but nothing in the article said so, so there's no way for me to know if I'm right.

And on a similar note of "puzzles"

When I was in high school, I was in marching band for two years. My Sophomore year I noticed they put a combination lock to the auditorium, so as to prevent people from going in.

One day I was messing around, and I noticed I could feel the locks coming undone as I turned the numbers. I easily could get the lock off, and went into the auditorium just for the lulz. :lol:

Then one day the combination lock was gone and they replaced it with a key lock. :(

I haven't really tried other combination locks, surprisingly enough. I really should, just to see if I have a gift or if that was an easy lock. :lol:
 
I'm a paranoid schizophrenic, so I can help to answer questions based on shared symptoms and such.

So, unless you're tapping your fingers raw, I take it the side effects aren't horrendous?

Abilify stopped me from being able to eat.
Risperidone stopped my dick from working.
Olanzipine made me drowsy to such a point that it was outweighing the little positive effect it had (read: no positive effect)

I sometimes wonder if I have something similar to schizophrenia. What sort of symptoms should I look for?

Hairs on the palms of your hands is one. Looking for them is another ;)

But seriously, symptoms to look for are: paranoid thoughts (i.e. if I'm out walking as I often do, I think that people who I walk past might want to attack me, despite having no reason to believe this other than the sheer fact thatv it is a possibility) the more delusionary the "better" in terms of helping to identify (I often believe people around me are seeing my thoughts; I often believe that there are cameras all around my house watching me, but I don't know who would be doing it [could be a government or a company doing some in-depth research or scientists or such - anyone!], I often believe many of my friends aren't actually my friends they're just acting friendly to be polite), hallucinations (particularly audio hallucinations like voices in your head, though in the past couple of years I've had hallucinations with a more visual element). I had a period of about half a year or a bit longer when I had regular voices, but they haven't returned since.

My train of thought often stops point blank midway through and I don't even remember what I was thinking about even if it was important and should be able to remember. Apparently that's a common symptom.

I you have these symptoms, I'd go to a doctor. I would also stop smoking weed completely (you've said you do so multiple times before. It really exaspirates the symptoms, sometimes a few days down the line. Seriously not worth it).

Do you hear them from other people in the same room?

When I had voices regularly, they weren't coming from anywhere in particular, just kinda there. That's how I differentiated them from actual people when other people where nearby though there'd often be noone anywhere nearby. Visual have a fixed place, like once I walked around some floating apples on the middle of a pavement next to a busy road. Othertimes reality kinda shifts and I'm just kinda standing there like a deer in headlights before I know what has happened.

Have they ruled out that you do not have an onset of Alzheimers?

Alzheimers and psychosis illness are usually opposite ends of the spectrum, the vast majority of sufferers of either will not ever suffer the other. Medication can reverse that though (antipsychotics can give people alzheimers-like symptoms, anti alzheimer drugs can give people psychosis). So in short, I doubt it. :) (Though sanabas had this covered!)
 
Things utterly ridiculous such as "God will allow me to become rich and famous if I do such and such" or the one I had when I was 18: "The CIA is tracking my every move and knows my thoughts"

I'm curious about how you reacted to these thoughts at the time - in the moment. But I completely understand if you're not comfortable talking about that now. Triggers and all. I'll spoiler my questions.

if you're willing:
Spoiler :

When thinking that the CIA was tracking you, did you imagine that there was a specific technological mechanism they were using, or were your thoughts more vague?

Did you think that there were people following you as part of this, and did you suspect any of the people you interacted with every day?

At the time, did you know that these thoughts were not usual?

Do you have any idea why you thought it was the CIA as opposed to some other state intelligence service? For instance, why not FSB, or Mossad, or Kurzweil's Singularity Minions, or Anonymous?


And just to add my voice to the others who have said this already - I thank you and Virote_Considon for having the fortitude to speak publicly about this. I really can't imagine what that's like. I'm sure there are many other people who are silent, and you might give them some much-needed strength. Kudos.
:goodjob:
 
Other than the CIA delusion, does any episode stand out for you?
 
I apologize to the both of you for the late response. I was busy posting in the porn thread. :p

if you're willing:

Yes, I am willing. :)
When thinking that the CIA was tracking you, did you imagine that there was a specific technological mechanism they were using, or were your thoughts more vague?
I believed they had planted some sort of chip inside of my brain.


Did you think that there were people following you as part of this, and did you suspect any of the people you interacted with every day?

That's an excellent question. The only answer I can give is "more or less", because this happened when I had just turned 18, and now I'm nearly 21. So my memory on exactly what I believed in this regard is kind of rusty.

At the time, did you know that these thoughts were not usual?
Probably, but apparently I fell for it anyway. :(

Do you have any idea why you thought it was the CIA as opposed to some other state intelligence service? For instance, why not FSB, or Mossad, or Kurzweil's Singularity Minions, or Anonymous?
I can't honestly say. I think I believed the CIA was controlling my thoughts as well as reading them because they thought I was a genius, and if they didn't control my, my success would go unlimited thus making me too powerful and dangerous.

And just to add my voice to the others who have said this already - I thank you and Virote_Considon for having the fortitude to speak publicly about this. I really can't imagine what that's like. I'm sure there are many other people who are silent, and you might give them some much-needed strength. Kudos.
:goodjob:
Thanks. :) I have been flamed on this forum many times, but it's good to see people like you.


Other than the CIA delusion, does any episode stand out for you?
That was the only major "episode" but apart from that I have had other delusional beliefs from time to time. Such as "if I do such and such, it will make God happy with me, thus God will grant my wish of becoming a famous musician".
 
Do you meditate? if so, how has it affected you?
 
"The CIA is tracking me" seems to be a very common delusion - I knew one guy who was convinced that a house down the street from him that recently sold had been bought by FBI agents for the purpose of spying on him. He even took pictures of the outside of the house and various things (such as a skylight) that he was certain they were putting cameras in to watch him.
 
"The CIA is tracking me" seems to be a very common delusion - I knew one guy who was convinced that a house down the street from him that recently sold had been bought by FBI agents for the purpose of spying on him. He even took pictures of the outside of the house and various things (such as a skylight) that he was certain they were putting cameras in to watch him.

Yes indeed, so I've heard.

I can only wonder if the "CIA" is common only for Americans' delusions, or for others as well.

Example: Would Russians suffering from mental illness blame the CIA or the KGB?

Would the brits blame the CIA or Scotland Yard? :p

I never thought they had bought houses (at least I don't remember thinking that) but my delusions were pretty grand none the less. It's bad stuff.
 
I can only wonder if the "CIA" is common only for Americans' delusions,... It's bad stuff.

How much is suggestive, that is, are these things you read about or saw in a movie and then eventually experienced?
 
How much is suggestive, that is, are these things you read about or saw in a movie and then eventually experienced?

I think I came up with most if not all of it on my own... I've never seen a movie where the CIA plants a chip in someones brain and controls their thoughts, nor have I seen any movies where people plot against "geniuses" like that.

I do not recall getting it from any outside sources. And before you ask, I have never watched "the truman show".

@extraCrispy: Thank you for sharing that information with me.
 
Considering your Charles Ives thread, how important to you is fine music?
 
Considering your Charles Ives thread, how important to you is fine music?

I have never heard the term "fine" music before. What exactly do you mean by that?

Anyway I think Charles Ives is a genius.
 
bump in case anyone else has a question, as well as something i'd like to add:

A few months ago I went to my psychiatrist, and she could tell I was feeling really down. She suggested to increase my Lexapro (anti-depressant) but I told her that wasn't the source of my problems. I explained that it was because of my inability to focus that was causing me to be depressed. It was effecting my school performance, as well as my life in general. She nodded and prescribed me a different anti-depressant, Pristiq. Pristiq supposedly is very good for helping with attention, in addition to being an anti-depressant.

At first the medicine didn't make much difference other than I gained about 15 pounds of weight. I still have not been able to shake those 15 pounds off. However, lately my focusing has been much better. I'm daydreaming WAY less than I use to (although I still do some) and I tend to be more in the 'here and now', rather than a world of my own.

Now I'm facing my problems rather than avoiding them and neglecting their existence. The thing is, the problems in my life really suck (I tend to be critical on myself when my mind is 'on', I don't know how else to explain it) so while I'm focusing better, I actually feel pretty bad. I'm stressed out with my life since I'm facing my challenges rather than ignoring them, and I'm not used to this kind of stress. I could really use some Jack Daniel's. :sad:

edit: sorry for the rant but I really had to vent... I needed to get that out there.
 
I know it's a different class of drugs but some people I know take wellbutrin which is a focusing antidepressant in its application. It causes a lot of motivation and ability to get down to task, and makes them feel a lot better, except at higher doses causes a lot of anxiety and keeps problems at their minds' forefronts.

If you don't already, it's often good to get a counselor to work alongside a psychiatrist. Especially when taking new drugs that affect mood and stuff! With more focus and energy like that, here's a good opportunity to tackle stuff :)

Curious, did your doctor not prescribe stimulants due to the schizoaffective thing?

No need to answer if that question crosses any boundaries, of course.
 
Not sure what you mean by 'stimulants'. If you mean anti-depressnant, then yes. I was prescribed Lexapro when I was 18 by my first psychiatrist. He realized how depressed I was. I was depressed at the time for the very reason that I had a mental breakdown, and realized it. It was my first full blown break from reality that I know of.

I've easily recovered from that, but still get depressed from time to time. At the very least, the one I'm taking now is better than nothing simply because it's helping me focus.

I'm still a procrastinator with me work, but at least I live in the present, focusing on whatever I'm doing at the time.
 
Good to hear on the good parts!

Most stimulants are dopamine releasers. Loosely speaking ritalin is the dopamine version of an ssri and very loosely speaking adderall/dexedrine is the dopamine version of mdma. In other words they increase the amount of dopamine you have running around your brain.
 
Back
Top Bottom