IdIOT: Shock and Terror

[GreekAnalyzer]

To: Church of Goomy
Re: Byelorussia
This is acceptable to us.

 

[Civ'ed]

Point Moot, Madagascar, 3004 AD
Jack Shperow, Farage, Lah, Barbarosa, Degroot and Conagher await their deaths.
Or do they?
Because they are, right now, painting something on the side of madagascar.
"His Farage's Ship Madagascar"

 

[e350tb]

AND NOW, A MESSAGE FROM ACTING PRESIDENT SOOS RAMIREZ

​

Hey dudes - err, I mean, My Fellow Mystery...Mysterians...Mysteriousness...Mysterons?...I dunno, I'm just gonna keep goin' - I'm here today to go over a few things about the where the country's gonna be going after all these invasions and counter-invasions and monetary fraud. Stan would be here to tell you this, but he's been catatonic ever since he got word about that thing with the nuclear bombs and the money lenders.

He has been laid on his bed making this face for three days.​

Anyway, let's get down to business...wait, dude, why did I say-

DIPPER: ...TO DEFEAT! THE HUUUUUUNS!
WENDY: DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS...WHEN I ASKED...FOR SOOONS?!
DIPPER: YOU'RE THE SADDEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET...
WENDY: BUT YOU CAN BET BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH...
BOTH: MISTER, IIIIIIII'LL...MAKE A MAAAAAAAN...OUT OF YOOOOOU!

Yep, should'a seen that coming. Aw well, nice singing there dudes.

So, first thing on the aged...agened...agenda, right - sorry dawg, Stan's handwriting's kinda hard to read - is the war with the UKIP Pirates. I would like to announce that the Mystery Nation is ready and willing to accept terms, and that nobody in this country wants this war to last any longer then necessary. I mean, dude, this is getting pretty violent. So yeah, we'll consult with our allies and hopefully we can end this whole thing soon.

Next up, the Basil. I'm not gonna lie, dudes, that thing is terrifying. We gotta stop that thing, and we're gonna stop that thing, because we're gonna stop that thing. Wait, dude, that's a bit...oh, Tony Abbott sent that one in, that makes sense... I know we couldn't get forces out last year, pony-bros, but we intend to send 'em now. We're bringing out the pain train, dudes.

Finally, we're gonna start doing something about that cult. I mean, I don't have a problem with 'em, dudes, but President Pines kinda wants to use them as tourist bait and Soos don't read that out lou...

Oops. Sorry. Wasn't supposed to read that. [awkward laughter]

...anyway, if you dudes could come down from the mountains and rejoin society and stuff, we totally don't mind whatever cult you're worshipping. We're sending Toby up to get an answer soon, so have a think about it.

Toby: Aw, cranberry sause.

Anyway, that's it for my speech, before we go, I've been given an anonomous request to play a message for Mr. Preston Northwest - you know, the rich dude. I was game, so here it is. Later, dudes.

------------------

AND NOW, A SECOND MESSAGE FROM THE ONGOING MISSION TO JERUSALEM ROME

​

This shizz just got real.

 

[NinjaCow64]

Come on guys! Post some more epic Funposts and Dank Memes in the thread! I need you!

Lock time will be determined when you guys post some more stuff.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

see this is why I shouldn't IOTchat.


So I was gonna do a Complete Idiot's Guide to Operation Skipjack, but Polyblank beat me to it:


Link to video.

 

[reddishrecue]

Thomas just busted a rage quit on that one big time. ^^

 

[Civ'ed]

above = phillipines

 

[NinjaCow64]

Thomas just busted a rage quit on that one big time. ^^

Welcome to IOT friend! Care to come make some epic funposts and some dank memes in this thread?

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

TREATY OF PEACE WITH UKIP​

The Allied Powers and Brewmeister Captain Nigel Farage, desiring to end the state of war now existing between the two coalitions, have for that purpose appointed as plenipotentiaries:

The President of the Mystery Nation, Jésus A. Ramirez and Gen. Wendy Corduroy, citizens of the Mystery Nation;

The Prime Minister of Abbotsford, Inc., James Danforth Quayle, minister for foreign affairs, Hernán Cortés, minister for trade, and Cecil J. Rhodes, minister for tourism;

The Imperatrix of Nova Terra, Dennis Crocker, secretary of state, Irella Morituri, secretary of defense, and Lee Oliver, vice chair of joint chiefs of staff;

And the Eternal Leader of the Pirate British, Captain Jack Shperow, Helmsman Tavish DeGroot, Female Woman Megan Barbarosa;

Who, having assembled in Louisbourg, and having exchanged their full powers, which were found to be in due and proper form, have, after discussion of the matters before them, agreed upon the following articles:

Article I. UKIP relinquishes wholly and unconditionally any and all right or claim to pursue acts of piracy and privateering against the Member States of the Allied Powers, namely, the Mystery Nation, Nova Terra, and Abbotsford, Inc.

Article II. UKIP relinquishes all claim of sovereignty over and title to the islands of Canada and the Alaskan Panhandle, namely, Vancouver Island, Queen Charlotte Island, Baffin Island an its affiliates, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland, the islands of Unimak, Unalaska, Umnak, and any other islands constituting the Aleutian archipelago. UKIP henceforth recognizes these lands as the sovereign territory of the Mystery Nation.

Article III. UKIP cedes to Nova Terra its possessions in the Leeward Islands and the island of Bermuda.

Article IV. UKIP cedes to Abbotsford, Inc. the island of Halmahera and its affiliates.

Article V. UKIP relinquishes all claim of sovereignty over and title to New Guinea. Abbotsford, Inc. will in turn begin the necessary procedures for the empowerment of New Guinea as a self-determining State.

Article VI. Abbotsford, Inc. will, for the term of ten years from the date of the exchange of the ratifications of the present treaty, admit UKIP ships and merchandise to the ports of Halmahera on the same terms as ships and merchandise of Abbotsford, Inc.

Article VII. Nova Terra will, for the term of ten years from the date of the exchange of the ratifications of the present treaty, admit UKIP ships and merchandise to the ports of Bermuda and the Leedward Islands on the same terms as ships and merchandise of Nova Terra.

Article VIII. The Allied Powers will, upon the signature of the present treaty, send back to UKIP, at their own cost, the UKIP soldiers taken as prisoners of war on the capture of New Guinea, Halmahera, Baffin Island, Bermuda and the Leeward Islands by the Allied forces. The arms of the soldiers in question shall be restored to them.

Stands of colors, uncaptured war vessels, small arms, guns of all calibres, with their carriages and accessories, powder, ammunition, livestock, and materials and supplies of all kinds, belonging to the land and naval forces of UKIP in New Guinea, Halmahera, Baffin Island, Bermuda, and the Leeward Islands, remain the property of UKIP. Pieces of heavy ordnance, exclusive of field artillery, in the fortifications and coast defences, shall remain in their emplacements for the term of six months, to be reckoned from the exchange of ratifications of the treaty; and the Allied Powers may, in the meantime, purchase such material from UKIP, if a satisfactory agreement between the respective Governments on the subject shall be reached.

Article IX. UKIP will, upon the signature of the present treaty, release all prisoners of war, and all persons detained or imprisoned for political offences, in connection with the war with the Allied Powers.

Reciprocally, the Allied Powers will release all persons made prisoners of war by the Allied forces.

The Governments of the Allied Powers will at their own cost return to UKIP and the Government of UKIP will at its own cost return to the Allied Powers, according to the situation of their respective homes, prisoners released or caused to be released by them, respectively, under this article.

Article X. The Allied Powers and UKIP mutually relinquish all claims for indemnity, national and individual, of every kind, of either Government, or of its citizens or subjects, against the other Government, that may have arisen since the beginning of the war and prior to the exchange of ratifications of the present treaty, including all claims for indemnity for the cost of the war.

Article XI. In conformity with the provisions of Articles II, III, IV and V of this treaty, UKIP relinquishes in New Guina, and cedes in Canada, Alaska, Halmahera, Bermuda, and the Leeward Islands, all the buildings, wharves, barracks, forts, structures, public highways and other immovable property which, in conformity with law, belong to the public domain, and as such belong to the Government of UKIP.

And it is hereby declared that the relinquishment or cession, as the case may be, to which the preceding paragraph refers, can not in any respect impair the property or rights which by law belong to the peaceful possession of property of all kinds, of provinces, municipalities, public or private establishments, ecclesiastical or civic bodies, or any other associations having legal capacity to acquire and possess property in the aforesaid territories renounced or ceded, or of private individuals, of whatsoever nationality such individuals may be.

The aforesaid relinquishment or cession, as the case may be, includes all documents exclusively referring to the sovereignty relinquished or ceded that may exist in the archives of the Isles. Where any document in such archives only in part relates to said sovereignty, a copy of such part will be furnished whenever it shall be requested. Like rules shall be reciprocally observed in favor of UKIP in respect of documents in the archives of the islands above referred to.

In the aforesaid relinquishment or cession, as the case may be, are also included such rights as the Government of UKIP and its authorities possess in respect of the official archives and records, executive as well as judicial, in the islands above referred to, which relate to said islands or the rights and property of their inhabitants. Such archives and records shall be carefully preserved, and private persons shall without distinction have the right to require, in accordance with law, authenticated copies of the contracts, wills and other instruments forming part of notorial protocols or files, or which may be contained in the executive or judicial archives, be the latter in UKIP or in the islands aforesaid.

Article XII. UKIP subjects, natives of the Isles, residing in the territory over which UKIP by the present treaty relinquishes or cedes her sovereignty, may remain in such territory or may remove therefrom, retaining in either event all their rights of property, including the right to sell or dispose of such property or of its proceeds; and they shall also have the right to carry on their industry, commerce and professions, being subject in respect thereof to such laws as are applicable to other foreigners. In case they remain in the territory they may preserve their allegiance to the Government of UKIP by making, before a court of record, within a year from the date of the exchange of ratifications of this treaty, a declaration of their decision to preserve such allegiance; in default of which declaration they shall be held to have renounced it and to have adopted the nationality of the territory in which they may reside.

The civil rights and political status of the native inhabitants of the territories hereby ceded to the Allied Powers shall be determined by their respective Governments.

Article XIII. The UKIP nationals residing in the territories over which UKIP by this treaty cedes or relinquishes her sovereignty shall be subject in matters civil as well as criminal to the jurisdiction of the courts of the country wherein they reside, pursuant to the ordinary laws governing the same; and they shall have the right to appear before such courts, and to pursue the same course as citizens of the country to which the courts belong.

Article XIV. Judicial proceedings pending at the time of the exchange of ratifications of this treaty in the territories over which UKIP relinquishes or cedes her sovereignty shall be determined according to the following rules:

1. Judgments rendered either in civil suits between private individuals, or in criminal matters, before the date mentioned, and with respect to which there is no recourse or right of review under the Pirate Code, shall be deemed to be final, and shall be executed in due form by competent authority in the territory within which such judgments should be carried out.
2. Civil suits between private individuals which may on the date mentioned be undetermined shall be prosecuted to judgment before the court in which they may then be pending or in the court that may be substituted therefor.
3. Criminal actions pending on the date mentioned before the Supreme Court of UKIP against citizens of the territory which by this treaty ceases to be Pirate shall continue under its jurisdiction until final judgment; but, such judgment having been rendered, the execution thereof shall be committed to the competent authority of the place in which the case arose.

Article XV. The rights of property secured by copyrights and patents acquired by UKIP nationals in the Island of New Guinea and in Bermuda, the Leeward Islands and other ceded territories, at the time of the exchange of the ratifications of this treaty, shall continue to be respected. UKIP scientific, literary and artistic works, not subversive of public order in the territories in question, shall continue to be admitted free of duty into such territories, for the period of ten years, to be reckoned from the date of the exchange of the ratifications of this treaty.

Article XVI. UKIP will freely and fully disclose to the Allied Powers all technical details, schematics, and present research pertaining to the "ALLMIGHTY ISLANDINATOR", within a period not exceeding one year from the date of the exchange of the ratifications of the present treaty.

The Allied Powers guarantee that their Governments will not, of their own accord, retransmit or in any other way disclose, in whole or in part, the aforementioned technology to a third party without prior approval by the Government of UKIP.

Article XVII. Violation of the provisions of Article XVI by either Party shall entitle the offended Government to seek indemnity from the perpetrator.

Article XVIII. UKIP will have the power to establish consular officers in the ports and places of the territories, the sovereignty over which has been either relinquished or ceded by the present treaty.

Article XIX. The Government of each country will, for the term of ten years, accord to the merchant vessels of the other country the same treatment in respect of all port charges, including entrance and clearance dues, light dues, and tonnage duties, as it accords to its own merchant vessels, not engaged in the coastwise trade.

Article XX. It is understood that any obligations assumed in this treaty by Abbotsford, Inc. with respect to New Guinea are limited to the time of its occupancy thereof; but it will upon termination of such occupancy, advise any Government established in the island to assume the same obligations.

Article XXI. The present treaty shall be ratified by the respective Heads of State of the Allied Powers, and by Captain Nigel Farage; and the ratifications shall be exchanged at Vancouver within six months from the date hereof, or earlier if possible.

In faith whereof, we, the respective Plenipotentiaries, have signed this treaty and have hereunto affixed our seals.

Done in duplicate at Louisbourg, the twenty-second day of February, in the year of Our Lord three thousand and four.

 

[Terran Empress]

Thats wonderful...

Can we get help against the Basil now?

-Lyra Heartstrings

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

DID SOMEONE SAY
[TAB]

COMMIE-BUSTING?

 

[e350tb]

Thats wonderful...

Can we get help against the Basil now?

-Lyra Heartstrings

Oh, don't worry about that. We've got big plans for that ship...

 

[Kinich-Ahau]

Goomish claims:

 

[GreekAnalyzer]

Link to video.

This is the most glorious thing in the history of ever.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

It is known.

Literally every time I play it I break out in a stupid grin.




"...And that's why I propose the government decriminalize Twitter."

Abbott's face was entirely expressionless. "Minister," he called, not averting his gaze, "Your thoughts?"

A big-boned man with a neckbeard and a frilly hand-woven dress stepped forward. "Your Excellency," he began, "We need only look at the name, 'Twitter', to understand what it portends. Twitt-er: to twit. What is a twit, but a smug, self-entitled idle riche, parasitically feasting upon the battler's honest work? Picture still, what a laughingstock your realm should become when unassuming subjects declare they have 'twate' with each other day after day, hour after hour? This man," he gestured to the plaintiff, "Would fill our skies with these messenger birds, and as every avian afficionado is well aware, birds are incapable of postponing their bowel movements! Truly, to legalize Twitter would be to mire this fair nation coast to coast in birds—."

Puckering his lips, Abbott nodded solemly. "Motion dismissed." He pulled a lever to the side of his throne; the petitioner gave a startled scream as the floor gave out beneath him and he vanished from view. "Now everybody clear off, I've got important s— to do. –'Cept you, Tarkin. Yer alright."

The attendant ministers dutifully buggered off as the Mad Katter entered the room, accompanied by a thin, grey-suited elderly man with a skeletal face. "Yer Excellency," Katter mumbled as he doffed his cowboy hat, dropping to his knee. Seconds passed, but Abbot did not bit him rise.

"Hi, Gray," said the Dark Lord nonchalantly.

The man gave a polite, punctual nod. "What is thy will, O esteemed Emperor?" he oiled.

"Those robots I asked ya ta build—"

"—Shall be ready within a fortnight, my liege."

"Sure, but I got ta thinkin' last night, somethin' new, somethin' even better."

"Better?" The man arched his eyebrows skeptically. "Your Magnificence, you have not yet seen my creations in action. Doubtless you will find—"

"Don't matter." The man gritted his teeth at Abbott's interruption. "I mean, I'll use 'em, fair dinkum, but I'm sure a technical genius such as yerself is always aimin' for the next horizon, ay?"

"Indeed." The man clasped his hands together. "What precisely did you have in mind, O Lord?"

Abbott scooted forward. There was an audible hiss from Katter as his tiring legs fought to stay balanced. "Somethin' they ain't done before. Better than America."

"Better than America?" he repeated, with equal parts surprise and knowing jocularity.

"Don't get me wrong, turnin' their whole bloody country inta mindless drones has been an inspiration, but... they'd still be bodgy goin' up against the Japs, yanno?"

A vicious grin spread across the man's face. "I know exactly what you mean, Your Grace."

"Ah, Gray, yer always a beaut! Cortez!" he boomed, "Cortez, where th' bloody Hell are ya? –Oh right, I sent 'em outside." He tapped a button on the armrest to his throne. "Cortez, get in here!" A split-second later the side doors opened and the fabled Conquistador jogged into the room. "You got Nigel's sample?"

"Sí, Señor." He gave a brief bow, reaching into his coat and retrieving a tiny glass vial. Inside was a single grey hair, plucked from Farage's head by the Captain himself. Why the Abbotsford delegation had requested he send it along with the ratified treaty he didn't know and never asked; maybe they wanted to mix it with Tony's DNA and fabricate some sort of perfect populist politician. When he woke up next morning he'd have to remember to apply for royalties in case they did.

Cortés passed the vial to Gray, who dutifully stowed it in an inside pocket of his suit. "Call me when ya got sumthin'," Abbott said.

"I shall toil night and day, My Liege." The man gave a deep bow, returning from whence he'd entered.

"Welp, I'm famished." Abbott pressed another button on the console. "Margie, I 'spect a fresh sandwich in five minutes. Got it? Good." Before his wife could protest he shut off the commlink and practically leaped from the throne. "Court dismissed." The ministers walked off in separate directions as the throne room lights shut off in sequence.










"Bloody oath!" screamed Katter.

 

[NinjaCow64]

It's that time of the week again kids!

48 hours until orders softlock

 

[NinjaCow64]

Tentative ~12 Hours Orders Lock

Orders lock probably won't happen until later though as a grand to total of 3 people have sent orders in so far. Regardless, everyone who doesn't get orders in within 12 hours will lose 1 ECO point. Because come on guys.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

GNC 0509/1/001 47

FOMU JTXI ALBA PFYU WGOD AEZJ JYPK ACOY GJYA PJML ELZW FBWU AKIB AFIX UCMU LUNZ PYVA TWKP BLRH PCUF WMSC CBRU YPOD GKUM GEVE VBBI LSSU CUWK BQVY RHWW GVAK WLHQ BIKM LSNV SJYZ VSRT BKSV ZWCB WYBS PHEZ WIYO FJQW GFQP XPKB MDTC FOMU JTXI

GNC 0509/1/002 53

GXIP YEOE OJSF ROXN TEAV RGXT YMAP ZIQM YIMN WJHH MYDQ VJLT ZWDC FANG JBFE MZUK HIHL BYFB DYAI IASP RVVV UENZ DEPW ZRNK BJJV RQHM UTKK ILXK BGHL BEXO XFIT YCEH RYNU PGOG YEOT GFIE TEJE QZFW BVGL KVKM UCLF EGUJ RNKU SNUV DZJK FAKJ YEZN QMFU GACC SXBC FQJG GXIP YEOE

 

[NinjaCow64]

Soft Lock Active

This update might take a little longer due to Uni being busy and me wanting to catch up on CoE RP and orders.

 

[Sonereal]

The Tet Corporation specializes in financial services. We will be launching an initial public offering next turn. Through our network of stealth submarines, we offer a safe and secure system of transferring and holdings your money. We also offer short-term loans at market rate, as well as *ahem* specialized intelligence services.