Spanking in class - yeah or nay?

[ParkCungHee]

I am thinking people who assume that no matter how they act or what they do, they can get away with it and not suffer some sort of (often physical) retribution.

I find adults suffer from this problem far more then children.

 

[holy king]

I even made my 5th grade teacher a paddle, which didn't endear me with the rest of the class, but it was a damned nice paddle.

 

[holy king]

Spanking imo should only be done between 2 consenting adults in the privacy of their own home

(serious answer).

hm, i would guess the fetish would go away once spanking children is finally vanished from our culture to , but who knows...

 

[Farm Boy]

I was defending you from the the ppl who are going to call you an abuser. Next time I'll GFM instead

I do appreciate that I'm pretty sure - but I have no idea what it means! Genuine Funny Man and something about testicles on Urban Dictionary?

Biting a 4 year old so hard that it leaves marks is definitely not anywhere near the top of my list of accepted parenting methods.

It certainly sounds like it wasn't a first resort option. 2 year olds aren't teenagers though. They don't respond in the same ways. Sometimes ignorance of what they are doing can be the cause. Demonstrating that something they are doing is painful might be one of the few things that creates learning. Physical restraint without understanding of why is just as much a violation of body and probably not particularly valuable. Reason isn't always in play(well it is, but not very developed reasoning - it's too young for abstract thought). Total abdication of parenting and letting the behavior continue without meaningful correction may cause somebody to actually get hurt. I'm still looking for a more helpful suggestion which, honestly, may have been tried anyhow.

 

[Angst]

I get the feeling there are differing definitions of "parenting" floating around here outside of common usage. I would definitely qualify this as parenting. Life is pretty chaotic and as much as you try to watch your larval human 100% of the time, you can't. 5 seconds of distraction is enough sometimes. Occasionally putting a hardline stop with an earflick or handrap is not a pleasant endeavor for a caring parent either. But doing things you don't want to do seems part and parcel of being anything resembling a responsible parent, be it perhaps this or perhaps something else. Could you clarify how you are using "parenting" so I can tease out this conceptual divide?

I'll answer to Yeekim later (I'm leaving the house now) but my distinction is pretty clear.

If one of my friends was to put an iron rod into something high-voltage or drunkenly attempt to eat a battery, I'd slap him somewhere per reflex. And it wouldn't make me his parent. I hope you understand the distinction between this reflexious hindrance to injury (which is basically taking care of somebody) and the disciplinary molding that takes place when you are a violent parent, practicing corporeal punishment when your kid acts up at school etc.

The thing is, I'd expect my neighbour to shove me out of the way if I was about to be run over by something, and that wouldn't make my neighbour anymore of a parent.

Having my neighbour punch me, however, for not listening to what he's saying is not going to make me listen to him more. Rather, he's getting a lawsuit.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Go frak myself - GFM

 

[AlpsStranger]

I realize most of us are pretty liberal here, and I also realize that some people abuse their children terribly. That said, children are not porcelain dolls. Children no different, behaviorally or physically, have been muddling through for like 50,000 years. Much of that without medicine or legal protection. So long as you're sincerely doing the best for your child, and they are lucky enough not to have a disease, the odds are pretty good that they'll survive and thrive.

 

[Farm Boy]

I'll answer to Yeekim later (I'm leaving the house now) but my distinction is pretty clear.

If one of my friends was to put an iron rod into something high-voltage or drunkenly attempt to eat a battery, I'd slap him somewhere per reflex. And it wouldn't make me his parent. I hope you understand the distinction between this reflexious hindrance to injury (which is basically taking care of somebody) and the disciplinary molding that takes place when you are a violent parent, practicing corporeal punishment when your kid acts up at school etc.

The thing is, I'd expect my neighbour to shove me out of the way if I was about to be run over by something, and that wouldn't make my neighbour anymore of a parent.

Having my neighbour punch me, however, for not listening to what he's saying is not going to make me listen to him more. Rather, he's getting a lawsuit.

That makes better sense. I'm not strictly talking whipping somebody out of the way of a car though.

The fact that you mentioned a punch is pretty important. There's an important mental divide when a hand raised in punishment closes in anger to become a fist. It ceases at that point to be a last resort(those two words are important) tool of attention getting or deterrence and becomes a weapon designed to inflict injury. This is a loose comparison at best. There is no good reason to ever punish through rage or use a tool designed to create injury. I'll agree with you wholeheartedly there.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

So we agree that spanking is pretty bad most of the time, but we all want to spank Maggie Gyllenhaal?

This is the most rational consensus we've ever reached

She is an adult though and if have seen the movie, you know she's into it.

Biting a 4 year old so hard that it leaves marks is definitely not anywhere near the top of my list of accepted parenting methods.

Where did he say bite?
/totallyconfused

 

[cybrxkhan]

I dunno where in the conversation this is, but I'll add my own personal experience with spanking:

My parents spanked me up until I was in late elementary school or something (maybe middle elementary school, I don't remember). More so my dad, since my mom was more about the whining and nagging and so forth. To be honest, I preferred spanking. Sitting down and having my parents tell me over and over where I was wrong and where I had to improve myself and all that was just annoying at best and depressing at worst. Spanking, yeah, it hurt for me, but at least it was over in half a minute. Lectures were an hour or more. I find it odd, but for some reason I didn't really mind spanking too much when I was older and it didn't really hurt for some reason. Maybe I'm a masochist.

Anyhow, to be honest, I wasn't afraid of spanking, I was afraid of my parents being disappointed and/or angry with me. That was what really scared me. Spanking? Bah, temporary pain. But parents who don't think well of you? That's a long-term shame. For instance, when I was a kid, I was always scared of going to my friends' house, bcause my friends had the "violent" video games (i.e., not rated E) that my parents wouldn't let me play, and I was afraid my parents would find out and be angry at me. This is the sort of thing that still troubles me to this day. I have a good relationship with my parents, and I can trust them with personal things if push comes to shove, but I really wish I could trust them even more, because I'm really just afraid of their reactions. And they're not even really that "Asian". They're just really overprotective, I think. And I was just way too passive and obedient as a kid, and even now.

I guess you can say it worked for me. My parents didn't spank me unless I was really, really acting up, although I never really acted up. Sure, I was stubborn as hell as a kid, but I also was naturally passive and quiet, so I didn't really jump around like a hysteric when I didn't get my way. My brother, on the other hand, was the loudmouth. He was screaming the moment he was born, so my parents spanked him a hell lot more since he was not as well-behaved as I was (at least externally). Spanking, I have to say, didn't really work on him. He was even more stubborn than I was, and while I do know that he didn't 'like spanking, I guess his train of thought was "@#$% this I don't care, dad". Eventually my parents just gave up, and they're ironically sort of more lenient on my brother than I was. Although I have a much better relationship with my dad than my brother has.



So, basically, my point is, at least from my experience, spanking was neither bad nor good. It really depends on the personality of the kid. It's not just what sort of punishment better suits certain kids. It's hard to know exactly where the kids' trait-based problems are, but the punishment has to address that somehow, i think. It's also having to find a delicate balance between... you know, I don't know what I'm saying. I just wanted to throw out my own anecdotes, if anyone cares. My parents still showed me a lot of affection for me when I was younger, so I think that sort of helped, too. Or, actually, it also made me feel more guilty when they were lecturing me, because it made me feel really like I did something bad. Then again it's good they gave me affection. Some parents are just really distant with their kids, and the kids are disappointed with their parents for that when they grow up(like my own dad, since my grandfather was a 'traditional' parent and all, being all aloof)

Parenting is quite hard, I'll say.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

If we are going to confess our darkest secrets -

My personal experience with spanking is that parents who do it cross the line into abuse rather quickly as anger is ALWAYS involved. They found other ways to discipline when they weren't angry.

The cops/school got involved; group homes suck.

 

[History_Buff]

You seriously can't think of anything you could possibly do in a restaurant that would most likely bring along some physical retribution quite a bit more serious than a flick on the ear?

How about you try finding a local bikers' pub and attempt to pee into someone's beer?

Oh there are absolutely things I could do that would provoke that reaction. But they would still be wrong to do it, and I would have various legal remedies at my disposal.

 

[AlpsStranger]

If we are going to confess our darkest secrets -

My personal experience with spanking is that parents who do it cross the line into abuse rather quickly as anger is ALWAYS involved. They found other ways to discipline when they weren't angry.

The cops/school got involved; group homes suck.

You have Butters as an avatar. I'm sensing a connection.

EDIT: Certainly no implied insult to you. Rather, I am wondering if you had parents as "wonderful" as the SP character "enjoys."

 

[hobbsyoyo]

You have Butters as an avatar. I'm sensing a connection.

EDIT: Certainly no implied insult to you. Rather, I am wondering if you had parents as "wonderful" as the SP character "enjoys."

Wut wut in the butt?

Naw, no rapin's, just good ol fashion clobberin's for me. Butters parents are crazy emotionally abusive, but that's as far as it goes. Which is odd given the nature of the show.

OT:
I do wonder if anyone considers what I said wrt anger. I can't remember a single time in all the spankings I habe seen in public, in class, in my home or others where anger wasn't a factor. Then it's not discipline, it's revenge.

Or sexytime, if Maggie is the spankee.

 

[Farm Boy]

Dunno. The few times I saw my mother get out the ruler she was bawling.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Dunno. The few times I saw my mother get out the ruler she was bawling.

Lucky you.

Granted, it's not everytime an anger filled act.

 

[Farm Boy]

Lucky you.

Granted, it's not everytime an anger filled act.

True. Maybe my dad was furious when it happened and just didn't show it. I believe the specific time I am thinking of my sister was getting it from mom because dad was busy desperately trying to staunch the flow of blood(from me).

 

[hobbsyoyo]

True. Maybe my dad was furious when it happened and just didn't show it. I believe the specific time I am thinking of my sister was getting it from mom because dad was busy desperately trying to staunch the flow of blood(from me).

Damn brohammad, true story?

What'd she do to you?

(For the record, if I were single and hooked up with Maggie Gyllenhaal, I'd need two Maggie Gyllenhaal's. I'd break the first one.)

 

[Farm Boy]

Shoved me off a wagon prolly about 6 feet in the air. Landed on my face. Bit through my tongue, almost had to have it reconnected. Thankfully, your mouth heals pretty fast for the most part. She probably wouldn't have been in so much trouble if she hadn't thrown a fit in the middle of the fun about the fact that dad was trying to ice it with a popsicle and she wanted one too.

Eh, it's pretty lightweight - no lasting harm, not that traumatic - but I did learn the meaning of betrayal before I knew what the word for it was!

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Ouch!