The Very-Many-Questions-Not-Worth-Their-Own-Thread Thread XLI

[The_J]

Yes, when I checked the city and surrounding, it seemed there is actually quite a lot going on. I was very jealous! (not of the weather though)

The present will be a paid online seminar (...yeah...that exists) about finding love, relationships, etc.
She's been single for 2 years or so, and I guess moving to a new place will be a fresh start.

 

[Synobun]

Yes, when I checked the city and surrounding, it seemed there is actually quite a lot going on. I was very jealous! (not of the weather though)

The present will be a paid online seminar (...yeah...that exists) about finding love, relationships, etc.
She's been single for 2 years or so, and I guess moving to a new place will be a fresh start.

 

[H4run]

Yes, when I checked the city and surrounding, it seemed there is actually quite a lot going on. I was very jealous! (not of the weather though)

The present will be a paid online seminar (...yeah...that exists) about finding love, relationships, etc.
She's been single for 2 years or so, and I guess moving to a new place will be a fresh start.

I know you meant good, but if I am your friend I can feel insulted by the idea of my friend sending me a seminar package to git gud at a relationship, it's something that a person decide for themselves, they may share with you that they have a problem and ask for advice if they trust you enough but to enroll them on a seminar that's a whole different game.

I mean imagine if you are in her shoes would you be fine with it? 2 years also not that long, perhaps she's just wanted to be alone for a while. If you already bought it for her, just make sure to deliver it in a way that you like the seminar yourself and you want it for her because it helps you also, makes it more about you not about her.

Anyway, good luck man.

 

[W|M]

Yes, when I checked the city and surrounding, it seemed there is actually quite a lot going on. I was very jealous! (not of the weather though)

The present will be a paid online seminar (...yeah...that exists) about finding love, relationships, etc.
She's been single for 2 years or so, and I guess moving to a new place will be a fresh start.

this is a significantly worse present than a good coat or boots

 

[Valka D'Ur]

A nice educational gift would have been something related to her interests that would be going on at University of Alberta, NAIT, or one of the other educational institutions (covid permitting; our government changes its mind every few days about what is and isn't allowed, it seems).

What kinds of things is she interested in?

 

[El_Machinae]

A compass! Prairie cities are quite oriented around the compass directions, at least the cores are. Newer developments seem to have lost the concept of 'straight roads'.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

A compass! Prairie cities are quite oriented around the compass directions, at least the cores are. Newer developments seem to have lost the concept of 'straight roads'.

LOL. In my experience, most people younger than my generation have barely heard of a compass, let alone know how to use one. When I give directions on how to get to my place, I ask them if they're familiar with a particularly well-known landmark just down the hill from here. They usually say yes, and I tell them to "turn north, go up the hill, then turn left and into the main parking lot. Buzz my suite when you get into the lobby."

Their first question is invariably, "Which way is north?".

 

[The_J]

I know you meant good, but if I am your friend I can feel insulted by the idea of my friend sending me a seminar package to git gud at a relationship, it's something that a person decide for themselves, they may share with you that they have a problem and ask for advice if they trust you enough but to enroll them on a seminar that's a whole different game.

I mean imagine if you are in her shoes would you be fine with it? 2 years also not that long, perhaps she's just wanted to be alone for a while. If you already bought it for her, just make sure to deliver it in a way that you like the seminar yourself and you want it for her because it helps you also, makes it more about you not about her.

Anyway, good luck man.

I'm actually considering if I should take it myself .

My friend is actually very interested in people and how they work, so I think she might appreciate it.
We've also been talking a lot about this (together with a 3rd friend, female, who suggested this).
So I don't think she'll be insulted.

this is a significantly worse present than a good coat or boots

Might possibly be true, but it's at the same time more personal .
(also: Both good coat or boots are out of our price range; it's a gift by only 2 people)

A nice educational gift would have been something related to her interests that would be going on at University of Alberta, NAIT, or one of the other educational institutions (covid permitting; our government changes its mind every few days about what is and isn't allowed, it seems).

What kinds of things is she interested in?

I think my friend is going to work at the university of Alberta, so I think she'll be able to figure this out on her own .

We actually didn't have a shortage of stuff what could have been interesting for her, but most of them don't have tickets on sale yet (Edmonton Jazz; Fort Edmonton Park; Taste of Edmonton) or are too expensive (Edmonton Fringe Festival), or it was too complicated to figure out how that exactly goes (apparently Canadian national parks will charge now for entry, but it's unclear how much...).
TBH that all would have also been less of a problem if she wasn't going to move/already had moved, and if there was not the bloody covid.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I'm actually considering if I should take it myself .

My friend is actually very interested in people and how they work, so I think she might appreciate it.
We've also been talking a lot about this (together with a 3rd friend, female, who suggested this).
So I don't think she'll be insulted.



Might possibly be true, but it's at the same time more personal .
(also: Both good coat or boots are out of our price range; it's a gift by only 2 people)



I think my friend is going to work at the university of Alberta, so I think she'll be able to figure this out on her own .

We actually didn't have a shortage of stuff what could have been interesting for her, but most of them don't have tickets on sale yet (Edmonton Jazz; Fort Edmonton Park; Taste of Edmonton) or are too expensive (Edmonton Fringe Festival), or it was too complicated to figure out how that exactly goes (apparently Canadian national parks will charge now for entry, but it's unclear how much...).
TBH that all would have also been less of a problem if she wasn't going to move/already had moved, and if there was not the bloody covid.

What else is she interested in? Depending on what it might be, I might have suggestions.

Admission to the national parks was free in the year of our 150th anniversary of becoming a country, but that's also a year when we had an insane number of forest fires and people were evacuated or denied entry unless they were passing through on the way home (commuting through the parks is a normal thing for some people who live in one province but work in another, in the case of Alberta and BC).

My suggestion is to look it up, since I have no idea. The last time I was in one of the national parks was in 2004.

There are a lot of interesting things about Calgary as well, but I don't recommend going there at this time. This province is governed by a pack of idiots who can't make up their minds which days of the week they're going to follow the science and which days that they're going to go against the advice and orders not to travel or party.

 

[The_J]

The 2 main points for her would be people and nature. She was pretty unsatisfied with the Netherlands, since there isn't really any wild nature there. I think there should be plenty in Canada .
If there's a must-see in this area, then I definitely would like to mention it to her, so ... tell me .

 

[Valka D'Ur]

The 2 main points for her would be people and nature. She was pretty unsatisfied with the Netherlands, since there isn't really any wild nature there. I think there should be plenty in Canada .
If there's a must-see in this area, then I definitely would like to mention it to her, so ... tell me .

Wild nature? Banff National Park, but at a definite distance from the animals. It's not safe to get close to bears, moose, bobcats, or whatever. But nature is more than animals, and Lake Minnewanka is gorgeous. There are plenty of other areas in the mountains that are equally wonderful (this is one reason why I keep nagging warpus to come out to this end of the country for one of his hiking/biking holidays).

Is she interested at all in paleontology? Dinosaurs, fossils, interesting geology? Then the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller is a must. This province is rich in fossils of many kinds, and this museum is a world-class facility for both research and exhibits.

 

[The_J]

That sounds good, thanks .

 

[warpus]

I have a stupid question about the English language and how to say something properly. Not in a specific instance but rather, in general, sort of. English is my 3rd language, although it has now been my #1 sort of language I think a lot of stuff in.. so.. it's not that I'm not fluent, but some of the nuances of English still escape me from time to time and I often do think about things "In Polish". Things get mixed up and every once in a while I do get that "oh..." moment.

So on Star Trek: Discovery there is this character who I have been rooting for ever since they came on the show. This character has specific pronouns they prefer people to use to refer to them, and the first time I wrote about them online I messed up and said "she", just because that's the sort of thing I'm used to, and at the time I did not remember that they had other pronouns they preferred.

Anyhow, I was writing up a review of the show and in a paragraph was talking about the show directors/writers/producers and how good of a job they were doing with Adira recently, and that I found them sort of stuck last season without much progression. See what I am getting at? The last "them" in the previous sentence refers to Adira but it sounds like it refers to the producers/writers, at least to my ears (since I use "they" earlier in the sentence to refer to the producers). But changing the "them" to "Adira" seems clunky too since I just named them a couple words before that. My inner English professor always tells me to change somebody's name to "him/her/etc." when it comes up again in the same sentence. What what am I supposed to do in this situation?

In my review I ended up having to split this up into shorter sentences and moving things around so I could properly refer to everyone while everything still being obvious. Is there anything else I can do? Is there an alternative in English to the plural "they" or "them"? How do you deal with a plural group of people and somebody who uses them/they pronouns in the same sentence, referring to each other? Is what I did pretty much the only way? Or should I have rewritten my sentences to always refer to Adira by name, so that it was obvious that any instance of "them" was a reference to the show producers/writers/etc.?

This is not crazy important, as I was obviously able to figure out to rewrite everything to make it work. It just seems limiting, so I was wondering if there's a better way. Something similar comes up with the english "you", which can be a reference to either the singular or plural... but that is almost never a problem due to the context telling you what exactly is meant. In this case though, context doesn't seem to help.

I can dig up my original review if it will help answer this, but like I said it's already been reformatted and it reads okay.

If you're curious I hate the "Every season is the end of the universe type scenario" deal they've been going with recently, so I hate the new big baddie this season - my main problem with the show. I also don't feel like I really know (m)any of the characters. I can imagine myself thinking about what Data, Riker, Sisko, Garak, etc. would do in any situation - I got to know these characters well enough to basically be able to understand their motivations. But with Discovery, I feel like I don't really know these people and can't even remember all of their names. My favourite characters from previous seasons are either gone ore being ignored. My current favs are Stamets and Adira, and I used to like Saru and Book more but this season they feel a bit meh. The characters personalities also don't seem super consistent, so it's tough to "get to know them". This is one reason I like Stamets - he seems consistent and has gone on an interesting character arc and I feel like I sort of do know who he is. But with everybody else on the show except maybe Adira - nope.

Anyway, each time I write about Adira I usually end up backtracking or at least stopping to think about how to exactly write about them. Using a word traditionally used for the plural for something singular just feels weird. Is there a better way to think about this? A better way to deal with this? A better way to write about this sort of thing?

It's not super important like I said, but if there's a better way, it would probably help me

 

[Birdjaguar]

was talking about the show directors/writers/producers and how good of a job they were doing with Adira recently, and that I found them sort of stuck last season without much progression.

Yes the "them' seems like producers.
To avoid that confusion I would write: "...I found Adira's progression stagnant when I had hoped for more."

 

[warpus]

Yeah, I basically had to rephrase sentences like that so that "them/they" refer to the producers, while Adira is only ever referenced once per sentence so I don't need to write Adira twice in the same sentence. That seems limiting, but if that's the only way then I can probably get used to it.

 

[Birdjaguar]

English can get complicated, but it is also sufficiently flexible that there is always a way to write what you want clearly or if you want to make it all very ambiguous.

 

[Takhisis]

You can also refer to Adira as ‘the character’. Thus:

, I was writing up a review of the show and in a paragraph was talking about the show directors/writers/producers and how good of a job they were doing with Adira recently, and that I found them the character sort of stuck last season without much progression.

Learn to paraphrase! English's lack of verbal inflection leads to having to repeat oneself a lot often.

 

[Synobun]

This is not a unique issue to they/them and happens just as much with two women or two men in the same scene. Which "he/him" or "she/her" is referring to who?

The solution is the same across the board: write the sentence differently so that there is no confusion. Proper sentence structure removes the problem in most instances, and there's really nothing wrong with specifying a name anyway.

ETA: "They" is not traditionally used only for the plural and I can guarantee that you've used it for the singular for as long as you've been speaking English, btw.

 

[warpus]

You can also refer to Adira as ‘the character’.

Oh I totally did not think of this, that's a good one.

This is not a unique issue to they/them and happens just as much with two women or two men in the same scene. Which "he/him" or "she/her" is referring to who?

It seems so, but I never seem to have had an issue with that sort of dynamic before. I was trying to figure out if I'm just thinking about everything in a "too Polish" sort of way, which leads itself to writing sentences in a slightly different way than a Germanic language native speaker might. Or if something else was going on.

I'll adapt, but wanted to hear what others think, especially people who speak English as a 1st language

 

[The_J]

I know, I've not been asked, but: I've noticed the issue too, but in the vast majority of all cases it's clear whom your referring to, since the other option wouldn't make sense.
So your issue is probably way more common, just doesn't stick out though at the end.