Should gay couples be able to (adopt/have kids)

[Ansar]

I don't oppose gay people, but the fact that there is a strong disapproval of gays in our soceity, they should not be allowed to adopt kids because the kid will face greater than usuall prejudice.

How will the other kids know the parents are gay?

 

[El_Machinae]

Disagreement with something does not equat to hating something. A lot of people seem to think unless you dont accept their opinion totally and outright that you automatically hate them.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Screw you!

( )

 

[Communisto]

the only thing i worry about is the child growing up in a homophobic, intolerant society. Other than that, let them adopt!

 

[storealex]

I say we simply put the gays in factories where they can produce tanks.

 

[Archbob]

How will the other kids know the parents are gay?

Do you really think you an hide it forever. Maybe if you don't have any friends and never have people come over or if the question "what does your mom and dad do for a living?" never gets asked.

 

[Ansar]

Doesent the question for a living = job?

 

[Archbob]

Doesent the question for a living = job?

That has nothing to do with anything. When subjects about family come up between friends, you can't really hide it that you don't have a mother and a father. Things like these get out.

 

[Supa]

Care to comment about my argument ?

Some kids will be mean. Some biggots will look at them angrily. Kids can deal with it: They will got parents, family and hopefuly a good education. Even for kids with heterosexual parents, life isn't easy but they're able to deal with it and get a good life.

And even if it was the case. Is it that important ? The kids couldn't learn that some people aren't okay with differences ? Couldn't they be more mature than the hating mass ? Kids aren't that weak or stupid. They can understand those things and with a good support, they can surmount them.

 

[Paalikles]

A rather eloquent, calm and reasonable argument there Supa, unless my eyes are reading something very different from what you were writing.

I am not so sure you can generalize to say that kids (all kids) can cope with it.

But I tend to agree with you in general anyway

 

[Archbob]

Yeah sure. Many kids can't deal with it, they fall into depressiono and end up being drags on society if bullied too much at a young age. Having homosexual parents will make you more likely to be isolated and bullied in society. Don't bring up the studies that says gays are accepted in America. Many states have voted on this issue and when it came to vote, gay marriage was banned in these states. Gay marriage would probably be voted down in every state besides California That shows America is not that accepting towards gays. Its much harder for kids with homorsexual parents to deal than heterosexual parents. Why do you think there are so many people who are afraid of "coming out"?

And yes, it is important. Sure, Kids can learn. But the fact is, most kids don't. Many parents don't teach kids to be accepting because they are not accepting themselves. They can be "mature" but many times, they are not taught this "maturity" when growing up. You can't just wave a wand and make everyone tolerant of gay people.

 

[Whomp]

er bef


There's a stronger acceptance now than ever before, but if you think that gays are outright accepted in our society, your far from right. The proof of the burden is on you because gays were not before really accepted. People will say "Yes, I'm ok with gays" if you ask them, but many times their actions prove otherwise.

Just google "gay hate", you will see links to many hate sites and gay-hate related crimes. If they were as accepted as heterosexual couples, why are there so many hate sites and why isn't gay marriage been legalized yet. That shows that there is still strong prejudice against gays. At least in America(which is mostly a Christian country), its pretty obvious that gays are still not accepted.

Let me attach a copy of the research findings and highlight one in particular. I challenge you to prove these findings to be false.

One area the researchers found no differences in was the mental health of children or their quality of relationship with parents. Children brought up by lesbians and gay men are well-adjusted, have good levels of self-esteem and are as likely to have high educational attainments as children raised in more traditional heterosexual families.

http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/6908.html

Spoiler :

Sociology: Study examines gender roles of children with gay parents
05/30/01
Researchers say children of gay parents more likely to depart from traditional gender roles, but democratic societies should welcome the difference
Children born to and raised by homosexuals tend to play, dress and behave differently than children reared in heterosexual households, a USC study on gay parenting has found.
But, researchers said, many of the differences are those that any democratic society should welcome.
In the paper, "How Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter?" professors Judith Stacey and Timothy J. Biblarz argue that children with lesbian and gay parents are more likely to depart from traditional gender roles.
The researchers’ findings, published in the April edition of the American Sociological Review, were culled from an analysis of 21 studies dating back to 1980. Those past studies – which included only birth children, not adopted children – downplayed contrasts between children raised by homosexuals and heterosexuals. The USC paper focused mainly on lesbian mothers and their offspring, because fewer studies of gay fathers exist.
"We found that despite the ‘no differences’ mantra, many studies do report evidence of some intriguing differences, and even of some potential advantages of lesbian parenthood," said Stacey, holder of the Streisand Professorship in Contemporary Gender Studies. "A difference is not necessarily a deficit."
Stacey and Biblarz found some evidence that children in gay households are more likely to buck stereotypical male-female behavior. For example, boys raised by lesbians appear to be less aggressive and more nurturing than boys raised in heterosexual families. Daughters of lesbians are more likely to aspire to become doctors, lawyers, engineers and astronauts.
In addition, heterosexual mothers tend to encourage sons to participate in historically "masculine" games and activities – such as Little League – and daughters in more "feminine" pursuits – such as ballet. In contrast, lesbian mothers had no such interest – their preferences for their children's play were gender neutral.
"Lesbian and gay parent families offer a unique opportunity to examine ways in which gender differences affect parenting practices and outcomes," said Biblarz, an associate professor of sociology. "We believe there are some very interesting issues of gender and sexuality that shouldn’t be ignored."
In two studies, a greater number of young adult children raised by lesbians had participated in or considered a same-sex relationship or had an attraction to the same sex. However, statistically, they were no more likely to identify themselves as lesbian, gay or bisexual.
One area the researchers found no differences in was the mental health of children or their quality of relationship with parents. Children brought up by lesbians and gay men are well-adjusted, have good levels of self-esteem and are as likely to have high educational attainments as children raised in more traditional heterosexual families.
"Levels of anxiety, depression, self-esteem and other measures of social and psychological behaviors were generally similar," Biblarz said. "While all children probably get teased for one thing or another, children with gay parents may experience a higher degree of teasing and ridicule. It is impressive then that their psychological well-being and social adjustment does not significantly differ, on average, from that of children in comparable heterosexual-parent families. Exploring how lesbian and gay parent families help children cope with stigma could prove helpful to all kinds of families."
Lesbian co-parents typically are highly involved in raising the children. Lesbian social mothers (partners who did not give birth to the child) take on more responsibility – changing diapers, picking up children from day care and organizing play dates – than heterosexual fathers.
Lesbian couples tend to "be in greater harmony in terms of their parenting approaches," Stacey added.
Other high points of the study include:
o Teenage boys raised by lesbians are more sexually restrained, less aggressive and more nurturing then boys raised in heterosexual families.
o Adolescent and young adult girls raised by lesbian mothers appear to be more sexually adventurous and less chaste. Sons of lesbians display the opposite – boys are choosier in their relationships and tend to have sex at a later age than boys raised by heterosexuals.
o It is more common for both lesbian moms to be employed, to earn similar incomes and to cut back on their hours of paid work in order to nurture young children. Some research indicates that egalitarian parenting contributes to child well-being, Stacey said.
o Same-sex couples proved better at managing disagreements and anger than did comparable heterosexual married couples. Research suggests that parental conflict may be one of the most significant sources of difficulty for children, Stacey said.
"Studying how the numbers, genders and sexualities of parents interact to influence children could give us valuable information relevant to central questions in family theory," said Biblarz. "Researchers have been reluctant to investigate differences among children for fear that such evidence will be used to discriminate against gay families."

 

[Quasar1011]

My girlfriend has one gay brother. He had a boyfriend for about a year. The boyfriend is a nice guy, and is treated as a friend of the family. He even came to the recent Thanksgiving dinner of another of her brothers.

But the gay brother ditched the boyfriend, and now has a new boyfriend. Since there is no institution of marriage among gays, this type of thing happens often. Of course, it also happens among heterosexual couples who are not married. To sum up, children are best raised in homes with one father and one mother present, who are married to each other. Gay couples would not make the best parents.

 

[GenMarshall]

Gays should not be alowed to adopt and/or have children. Mainly because a few things that could happen:
1. They will be teased by their peers cause Johnny has only two daddies or two momies.
2. The child could become gay.

 

[Archbob]

Actually, I've looked at a few studies before. They generally show that Children raised in gay/lesbian families have more stress but a better sense of well being that those raised in normal famalies. This doesn't really make any sense to me but thats what it shows right now.

But just about every study I'm seen makes a note that the data its sketchy and there can be no final conclusions drawn from the research yet. From personal observation, I know that children of gay or lesbian parents do suffer more prejudice than normal kids. I remember when I was in grade school, I wouldn't tease the kid myself, but I distanced myself from the kid because I was afraid of being teased with him.

The "sketchy data" is probably mainly due to the fact that its hard to discern the true number of gay/lesbian families there are and the fact that many people are afraid of coming out. Also disfunctional families and those with depressed children are probably not wanting to be researched.

 

[Whomp]

First of all, I am the girlfreind of Whomp, and I hear your arguments. I teach 6th grade and have had gay couples kids in my class. Bottom line, these kids were loved, they were paid attention to, they were well adjusted and in some cases the absolutely most self assured kids in the class. The hetero couples child of whom you think is so much better off...well, if they are fat, ugly or awkward in anyway are much more susceptible to "teasing" than the gay couples child. Your arguments can be applied to fat peoples children, should they then not be allowed to have kids, because the kids will most likely be fat and thus teased??? You need to read a few books, try "Freakanomics" where it is proven that a childs future success has little to do with their being involved in a hetero family. You need to spend some time in a classroom as the teacher and come to a parent teacher conference with a gay couple. The gay parents are just as concerned, frightened and worried about their children's life and work 10x harder to make sure their child is well adjusted. The hetero parent who has had the third child often complacent and don't appear at the conferences. It is the most un-informed, most closed minded idea that gay people should not be allowed to have children. First worry about raising your kids right, stopping child molesters from having children and being on the streets and when those two things are accomplished why don't you worry about this. Gay people are HUMANS - do you get that. They are capable of love, of rasing a decent child and of all the things other HUMANS are capable of despite the fact they do something YOU don't like in the bedroom. Get over it. Julius Caesar was gay. People have been gay from the begining. Why don't you put your efforts into stopping child molestors from adopting like the guy I watched last night on 20/20....who cares if two loving people adopt. My parents were mom and dad, and I never saw them as they worked their butts off to give me the education that allows me to not be as ignorant as this. Live in reality, a two parent household does not mean a better home. Do some reading, travel and get some experience so you to can have an open mind. There is nothing in your argument based in reality. You should worry about child molestors and the state of education for underprivilged kids not gay couples adopting children. It was so long ago that people said children of inter-racial parents would somehow be affected by the status of their parents. Just ask Tiger Woods. I'm sure he cherishes his multi-cultural experience.

If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck I say those of you who say no to gay adoption are homophobic.

 

[Ansar]

Hmm...I like the spoiler info, thanks Whomp!

Daughters of lesbians are more likely to aspire to become doctors, lawyers, engineers and astronauts.

Sounds like lesbian couple would sound like a good thing if the adoption is a daughter.

 

[Pyrite]

"Gays should not be alowed to adopt and/or have children. Mainly because a few things that could happen:
1. They will be teased by their peers cause Johnny has only two daddies or two momies.
2. The child could become gay."

Addressing 1: You're going to block someone's ability to adopt children because they will be teased? Are you joking? What a sentiment. I suppose that people shouldn't allow their kids to do well in school because they might be teased for being nerds. Thumbs up buddy!
2: So might any other child...

"But the gay brother ditched the boyfriend, and now has a new boyfriend. Since there is no institution of marriage among gays, this type of thing happens often. Of course, it also happens among heterosexual couples who are not married. To sum up, children are best raised in homes with one father and one mother present, who are married to each other. Gay couples would not make the best parents."

So what you're basically saying is that gays aren't married, so don't have cohesive families and leave each other. But also, so do heterosexuals. But, gays don't make the best of parents. The story made sense. The end to it didn't really."To sum up, children are best raised in homes with one father and one mother present" That doesn't exactly seem like an accurate summation..care to explain why that is? "Gay couples would not make the best parents." Where did that come from exactly? It seemed to be just a simple story, followed by a rather irrelevant conclusion. Was the story supposed to support the conclusion? Are you arguing for gay marriage now so that homosexuals can have cohesive family structures?

 

[Supa]

Gays should not be alowed to adopt and/or have children. Mainly because a few things that could happen:
1. They will be teased by their peers cause Johnny has only two daddies or two momies.
2. The child could become gay.

I've already said what I think about 1.

2: Studies showed that there is a the same proportion of homosexual in kids raised by a homosexual couple as a heterosexual couple. Apparently, being raised by a homosexual couple doesn't increase the chance to become gay.

About the arguments that: "Gay relations aren't the most stable because they can't marry".

1. Let's them marry so
2. I don't think it's true. If a couple wants to adopt a kid, I'm sure they think they will be together for a long time, married or not. Sexuality has nothing to do with that. If it's true that unmarried couple adopting children are less stable than married, then don't let any unmarried couple adopdting. Homosexual or not.

 

[Sims2789]

How will the other kids know the parents are gay?

I need not fact to rebut this as faith tells me they are.

Me and my sister are living proof that gays will produce gay kids; my mom's gay but I'm heterosexual. Then again, you fundies will probably baselessly write us off as an exception. Even if gays did produce gay kids, who cares? What's morally wrong with being gay? What merrits giving the state the power to take their kids away?

 

[Sims2789]

Gays should not be alowed to adopt and/or have children. Mainly because a few things that could happen:
1. They will be teased by their peers cause Johnny has only two daddies or two momies.
2. The child could become gay.

1. Kids get teaserd for all sorts of reasons. We can't coddle them from a harsh world.
2. Where's the evidence for this? I don't believe even the Bible has anything that says this. Even if it were true, so what?